Honestly, I've found the sailing forums to be pretty damned polite in comparison both to other (active) sailing forums I've visited and to online forums in general. Even the ones that are quite aggravating when they get the political hats on (i.e. in "Off Topic" subforum, aka The Sewer
) are polite and informative for the most part in the threads that really matter - the ones on sailing.
I can understand the frustration at double-standards, as that is a pet hate of mine too. That said, even when that occurs I think the mods & community do reasonable job of keeping it within limits in the threads that matter. Hell, even The Sewer is more polite in general than your average thread on SA where vile abuse & misogyny is deemed perfectly acceptable.
Honestly, I think we have (to quote Shakespeare again) "much ado about nothing"