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post #41 of Old 10-23-2012
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Originally Posted by PCP View Post
well this is not about sailing but about marriage...

If someone let go something that is really important that regret is going to bit hard on your life and it will be the sub-conscious motive for a lot of bitterness that will poison your relationship and can even end with your marriage...

As a twice-married divorce lawyer who talks to many spouses about their marital difficulties, I believe Paulo has nailed this one. Tread softly, this is about your SOUL and your right to independence in your legal union. A spouse who strangles her spouse's soul ends up in marital unhappiness and eventual divorce.

You are trying to rationalize the cost as reasonable recreational expense. As some have pointed out, you will never succeed with that approach. There is a hidden agenda here, perhaps your wife's belief that you should be bringing in more income or that you need to pay more attention to her needs and less to your own.

Sailing is a fundamentally impractical and unnecessary expense. You need to communicate to your wife what this really means to you, including the irrational dream that your father passed down to you. You also need to discuss the idea that although you are married to each other, each of you has the right to an independent life within that relationship. You might both be happier with some independence from each other.

It could be a control issue and you can either submit or detach. Marital counselling is always a good idea to save a marriage. I hope you are able to solve this problem.

Last edited by jameswilson29; 10-23-2012 at 08:13 AM.
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