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post #90 of Old 11-22-2012
bljones
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Re: can I afford to continue sailing

Looking for relationship advice on a sailing forum is like asking your marriage counselor what boat you should buy.

In other words there are really really good reasons why many of us here are on our second, and hopefully last wives.

I would like to hear your wife's side of the story, as it is very unfair to her for any of us to offer an opinion when we only get half the debate.
Are you maybe blowing off other commitments to go sailing? Are you not communicating, leaving your wife to wonder where the hell you are? Are you hanging out on the dock and drinking with your boat buddies and then calling her to come drive you home? Did you promise to do things like paint the trim, mulch the garden, build a playhouse for the kids and then blow it off to go sailing?

I understand the need for a slip.
$1300 a year buys you a clubhouse. drysailing doesn't. For some of us, a large portion of sailing is the dockside camaraderie. Go for a sail, return to dock, gather and share a meal, a drink, a sunset, some laughs, some ideas, some sweat when projects need to be done. Sailors often don't work or play well with others- that is why we enjoy the solitary sport of sailing. Many of us are not social types, except when others with similar interests are involved- hence the sanity-maintaining necessity of just hanging around the dock some days. Some of us are Lost Boys, and Lost Boys will always need a Wendy to keep them from getting too self-absorbed.

Don't dump on your Wendy. Don't resent her. Find out what she really needs and wants from you.

In other words, talk to her, not to us.

It's 5 o'clock somewhere:


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