There was some big stick sold at boat shows that you click around the pilling. But as with all that boat show crap does it work?
Not needed. Use a normal boat hook.
Can you leave lines set up on the pylons when you leave so you can grab them with a boat hook as you come back in?
Yes. That's how it's done. We set our lines at the beginning of the season and they stay there all season. We have an extra set of docklines on board for when we cruise.
Can you put horizontal lines close to the water so they act like a barricade
That's what we do with our 3/8" lines. But don't put them close to the water. They're too low to do you any good. Keep them at deck height where you can grab them and muscle yourself in if needed.
Can you get on of those remote throttle/helm controls so you can walk a line up? Or walk up the deck, etc?
Not necessary. You can do it from the wheel. Just get the boat in the slip. It ain't going anywhere once you're in,