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Thread: What to do?
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post #39 of Old 12-17-2012
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Re: What to do?

Originally Posted by multiboat View Post
Oh yeah, the Pirate thing. What's the reality to all that? I'm sure some of you have been victims, but whats the best way to handle that....guns, amount of cash carried, etc???
The pirate thing. The best way to handle pirates is to be the first over the side. If blood is going to be spilled, better to do it on their boat and not yours. Besides, pirates can't take your boat if they never make it on board, that's what I always say.

By the time the pirates come up alongside, our halyards have already been strung from the spreaders and weapons made ready. As soon as the hooks come over and the pirates draw nigh, we send the first wave (my wife and kids) over. Hit 'em first, I always say.

The question always comes up about how to swing on a halyard and keep your sword secure at the same time. It's embarrassing to swing across to another vessel, only to arrive empty handed because your sword fell in the drink. Talk about a red face! Orthodontists aren't cheap, so holding the blade of the sword in your teeth isn't optimal. I tried splitting a pool noodle and slipping it over the spine of the blade, but only my wife has a mouth big enough to chomp down on a pool noodle.

I came up with a solution for my kids one night while carrying my son to bed. You only have to step on a Lego barefooted once to realize the potential for sheer horror that Legos can inflict upon the unwary. When my kids swing across, they wear fanny packs full of Legos, which they then scatter around the deck of the pirate brigantine. Since pirates are warm-water sailors, they sail barefooted like everyone else down here. What they don't count on is that my crew wear flip flops, so we are impervious to the Legos! Take that, scaliwags!

As to the question of carrying cash: we don't. With the impending collapse of worldwide banking systems, bank notes are going to be worthless anyway. Our plan is to make port in 3rd world countries where my kids can get jobs making shoes and clothes for wealthy liberals who pretend they don't use sweatshops. Hell, it's all good commerce if you ask me. What else would you do with those dirtly little urchins besides put them to work? Keep 'em off the street, I always say.

Last edited by ShoalFinder; 12-17-2012 at 08:07 AM.
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