Lastly, even if you had the storm jib aboard, where you going to change it under those conditions? Not me,
Agreed, if you have hanked on sails the last thing you want to do is go forward on a pitching deck and change head sails. Usually, you sail with what you have up. Had you known it was going to blow and you started with a storm sail that is one thing, but getting caught is another. A furling head sail is a great thing to have for just those conditions. If the big 135 jib was what was causing the problems, it might have been best to get it on deck and sail main only even though she does not sail the best under main only, you still would have been sailing and under more control, even if that meant reefed main only.
Hey, I wasn't there. Its always easier to be on the outside looking in and be the one giving advise. Trial and error on your part is what is going to get the answers that your looking for. Next time, try something different and go from there.