duchess, you sound like me. at 42 I am not a 'young' man, by most standards, although no one guesses me to be more than 34. but I started sailing when I was 24. I don't do motors on sailboats. I have never even used one. i'm a sailor. if I can't sail to and from a dock or set and leave anchor, by sail alone, I have no right to call myself a sailor. I am just now checking into a used electric outboard, in case of emergency on the bay.
none of my friends ever sailed and most everyone I have met on the water is a generation older than me, including the newbies. I have, recently met some guys in their 20s. they were just beginning to sail and I helped them get their boat back on their trailer. I never meet women my own age or younger, that sail...unfortunately.lol
I also am an anti-tech rebel. simple and old fashioned is better. it's cleaner and more pure. it's free of the taint of the modern tech rat race we have made for ourselves. that's how sailing should be: free. to a degree, technology is a trap. it ensnares us and keeps us dependent on the system. when I drive to a strange place, I don't use GPS. I get out a map. most people you meet can't even use a map.
I also find many of the older 'sailors' I meet, who haven't been sailing since childhood, are not really that knowledgeable about actually sailing. it's funny watching them trying to sail away from the dock and funnier watching them try to return. many don't bother. they motor out before raising their sails and they strike sail a ways from the dock and motor back.
if I am in my dinghy, which I made a sprit sail for, no one even has any idea what type of sail it is. I had one guy guess it was a lateen (?) and one guy tell me he liked my gaff rig. a lot of them just ask what type of sail it is and had never heard of a sprit sail, when I tell them. during the golden age of sail, sprit sails were very popular and are one of the oldest types of sail but all they know is Bermuda rigs.
a lot of them over trim, too, wasting a lot of the wind's force on heeling. they say they do it because it feels like they are getting more force on the sails. they are surprised when I suggest they ease the sails til they luff and then sheet them in just enough to stop them from luffing.
they don't seem to be prepared, either. they usually don't carry any extra rope, for emergency use, and can't seem to handle an emergency on the water. for instance, this older guy was taking his young grand kids out for a sail in a 16' boat. he had no motor. I was sailing my dinghy. it was a bit heavy, that day. 15 kts or so, plus gusts.
I saw their main come down on top of them, suddenly. they appeared to be struggling so I sailed over to them. his halyard shackle had come apart. he had no motor. no oars. not even a paddle. with little kids in the boat! he also had no rope or a knife to cut rope with.
I sacrificed a bit of my stern line and, while sailing around in tight circles, instructed him to strike his jib. I told him to tie a roband through the cringle at the main sail's head. then, I told him to hook the jib halyard to the forward side of the roband and hoist the main with that. he couldn't sail up wind on jib alone. too much lee helm. he had been trying. anyhow, he was able to sail back to the dock that way. I followed him back, to make sure he'd be ok.
he and his wife thanked me profusely and half jokingly suggested they should get my number so they could make sure I was sailing when he went out, in the future, in case he had another emergency. the funny thing is, they used to own a 40' sloop, on the bay. really nice people but he was still totally unprepared and had no idea how to go about saving himself and his grand kids. thankfully I was sailing that day.
I think it's a generational thing. many of the baby boomers that sail are like the ones that ride motorcycles ( which I also do ). they aren't serious about it ( not hard core, as i'd usually say ). it's a hobby that money affords them. as far as the ones that own motorcycles go, they ride a little...never in bad weather...and then they sit around drinking and trying to convince the other boomers on bikes just how hard core they are, even referring to themselves as biker trash...with their big mc mansions and expensive cars. it's a game to them. i'm not saying all older ( baby boomer age )sailors are that way, of course, but I have observed that tendency a lot.
those of us who grew up as bikers actually ride. we can generally figure a way to jury rig our bikes and limp home, if a cable breaks or something, and we are not afraid to get wet or cold. there are less bikers in the younger generations, most of those generations prefer fast crotch rockets, but the ones that are starting to ride cruisers and choppers are more hardcore, like my father's generation and myself.
perhaps there is a similar trend with sailing.
if you haven't already, you should go on youtube and search for 'hold fast'. I discovered it by accident late one night. it's cool.
I can identify with those people, although I spent most of my life fighting my own nature and trying to be 'responsible' and work towards the type of life I was told I should aim for. so I haven't gotten a chance to do something like they did, yet. I have never succeeded in seeking those accepted goals, very well, though.. I just don't care that much about material crap. it's all about the experience of life, to me; the adventure. now, I find myself wondering what I have been doing trying to achieve someone else's life goals and i'm having a shift in my way of life. I am not fighting my own nature that much, an more. it never did me much good anyhow. I've always done things like ride my chopper through rain, snow, cold, and twice through flash floods ( I went 7 years without even owning a car and I don't live in California or florida, either )or sailing a 9' dinghy in 20 kt gusts, in the dead of winter, when I had to shovel snow off of the dock before setting sail (and I can't swim). I never fit into that cookie cutter society, usually being the crazy man amongst my friends and the other people I encounter. i'm the guy who never has the newest electric gadgets. i didn't get a cell phone til about 4 years ago. i'm the guy with the sailing dinghy in the back of his beat up old truck so I can sail any time I can get a free moment. i'm just not the guy with a house, two cars in the garage, a big screen TV to watch the game on ( I don't care about sports. too many things to actually do. life is not a spectator sport ) and 2.5 kids in after school activities. but I digress...