Nothing wrong with staying single.
Life is good.
Lauder: She meant well. Many people can't believe it's possible to be a straight but unattached man and reject a woman - especially if the woman is 10 years younger and blond. They can't believe it. They assume you're just "shy" (uncertain, afraid, inexperienced, whatever) and you just need some social engineering. It's commonly accepted by many people that "a man will scr** anything." And I think that's pretty much true for 90-95 percent of men: they learn their "level of hotness" at an early age, and simply lower their standards until they have a steady mate. The unspoken conviction is that it's "better than nothing." People don't know what to make of a man who doesn't follow this process. I've found they often become extremely angry, for reasons obscure to me. This is why I was highly uncertainly whether I should put any of that stuff in the book at all. I realized that if left out, the story would be a hollow fabrication.
I can actually relate to this pretty well, and I got the same sort of vibe from the book.
When I'm around most married couples I couldn't imagine being treated like the guy is being treated by the woman in the arrangement. Though oddly it's really easy for me to have women friends, it's expected/can be easy to set boundaries in a friendship.
Something like Joyce trying to set me up with Megan after I made my wishes known on the issue would've totally crossed the line.
At 49 now, I have watched my single friend get married, then go through terrible divorces - some get remarried and do it all over again. I see no sense in setting for the wrong person just to "be with someone" and both people end up loosing a lot, making some lawyers richer and kids unhappy.
I have no plans on getting married, I also have no plans on not. Here is my philosophy....
I have an Open Door Policy. You are welcome to come in and join me and you are welcome to leave.
By living like this I get to meet many fantastic women, learn about them as they learn about me and then when the time comes we part ways. Interesting side effect is that I remain friends with 99% of them and we each have only great things to say about each other. No reasons to hate and many reasons to love. Not only can I be truly happy for them when they do meet their lifelong partners, I can, as then can, offer good advice that is unbiased. How often can you get that?
By the way, I also have a theory on marriage and children. Have then young enough that you can still adapt to their needs. I am too old to "sacrifice" anything for children. My dogs, sure! Children, never! Though I do love my nieces and nephews and admire my siblings for being able to do that. Just not for me and last I checked, humans were not on the endangered species list.