Re: my boat dances on a ball
I spend 2+ weeks on a Bavaria Vision 46 as the OP has and it was awful at anchor when there was a lot of wind. After a lot of experimenting, we came up with a few things that helped to make it much more pleasant.
First, we would roll the jib absolutely as tight as we could to try to reduce windage forward which is a really big problem as Jeff H describes.
Next, we would often use an anchor spring as some here have described to keep the boat sitting at an angle to the wind. We found that we had to have it 30 degrees plus to get it to behave which does significantly increase the windage but really lowers peak loads. In really bad conditions, this probably isn't an option.
As we did not have a drogue, we attached a bucket to the anchor chain as close to the boat as we could so that it would stay in the water. The idea here was to provide resistance to the bow moving around and prevent it from building up speed. I am waiting for someone to actually install a centerboard/daggerboard all the way forward for just this purpose.
Finally, in a few situations we idled the engine in reverse to keep the boat from surging forward.
One thing that we did not ever do but might be an option in bad situations is to set out a second anchor at a pretty large angle. This should help to keep the bow in one place more and limit the sailing.
I am really disappointed in how modern designs behave on the hook. Some are good but many are truly appalling and are not cruising boats in my opinion for this one reason, they are daysailors and dock queens. Getting the CLR and windage figured out should be part of the design process even if it involves making some compromises or having features (daggerboard forward for example) to help deal with it.