Hi, name's Joe Keck - philosopher, fearer of God, starving artist (a writer as yet, unpublished), and an overall real good guy. In other words, about 70% bum, give or take.
I'm out of Norman, Oklahoma, right smack dab in the center of this h'yer United States of America.
Oklahoma. Great place to live, but I wouldn't want to sail here.
Anyway, I hope this doesn't sound too solicitous, but I'm looking for a sailboat (38' to 48') to move onto in an effort to lower expenses, simplify my life, and cleanse my mind of all the mundane and tedious vicissitudes of my current colorless conventional urban living. Residing, "On the hook," as they say. I don't need a million dollar state of the art computerized AI vessel. I'm not that lofty of expectation. However, I don't want a floating hut, either. Something in between – a high something in between, if at all possible.
As you might expect from the initial gushing description of my talents and intellectual pursuits, I have no money. WAIT! Hold on, hold on! Put the finger down, and step away from the keyboard. Okay. Before you roll your eyes and click to the next item, let me explain. I am a skilled and talented woodcraftsman, as well as a journeyman in the painting and drywall trades, with many years of experience. And therefore, I happen to be quite good - expert, if I may be so bold - with remodeling and home repair.
If you would care to trade your little used and money pit boat for some work on your house or garage, I have all the tools and equipment necessary for just about any woodworking or remodeling project you may have, and would be happy to discuss it with you. Come on, get out from under that expensive monthly slip payment and get that nagging, screaming, ball and chain better half - and delicate little flower that you love so very dearly and wouldn't trade for all the gold in Kansas - off your back. Make her happy and give yourself more quality time with that special one, whether it's A&M, OU, or Pittsburgh, Green bay, or the Cowboys.
And ladies, it's high time you get that lazy, good for nothing, couch covering, HD hypnotized husband of yours that keeps promising to get to that project, "... as soon as the game's over, sweetheart." I'm sure he loves you very much, and considers you his delicate little flower that he loves so very dearly and wouldn't trade you for all the gold in Kansas. But let's get real. He has Dorito debris in his chest hair and a collection of beer cans that could replace your aluminum siding. He aint' gonna' do it, and you know it.
So, get someone who will ... Joe Keck, at your service. Sort of a two birds, one stone kinda' thing: Get rid of that boat eating up your bank account in docking fees, and get that bathroom or kitchen refurbished at the same time.
Give it some serious thought. After all, your marriage depends on it.
Thanks, I wish you the best, and good luck with your sails/sales.
p.s. You better take quick advantage of this, because once I get published and become a best selling author, I'll be far too uppity and self centered to even give you the time of day.