Rediscovering one's "Self" - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 74 Old 05-31-2014 Thread Starter
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Rediscovering one's "Self"

So I'm an introvert. Have always been the inward thinker bored with small talk, and only really paying attention to conversations that interest me or I find perplexing.

So when I meet girls I steer clear of I live on a sailboat unless they specifically ask. Because it only describes a thing I do not who I am.

I became a liveaboard Last April. I love my fortress of solitude but I'm also 25 so still feel the need to socialize "drink socially" on weekends. The one night stands are fun, but how do I use the most of the minimalist lifestyle I have.

Currently reading Walden by Henry David Thoreau and having a minor existential crisis.

Note: if you don't know who Henry David Thoreau or what the word existential means, maybe you shouldn't comment...



My question is how do I rediscover the self I once knew so well?

Maybe some older liveaboards will be able to help.



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post #2 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

Probably will not get much advice from folks if you alienate alot of them before they even have a chance to make an impression.

If you do this in real life that could be part of your problem.

People sail and live aboard sailboats because they love it, I do not think the driving force behind most folks is "I want to be alone".

For me it is "I want to be free".
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post #3 of 74 Old 05-31-2014 Thread Starter
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

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Originally Posted by Spider0804 View Post
Probably will not get much advice from folks if you alienate alot of them before they even have a chance to make an impression.

If you do this in real life that could be part of your problem.

People sail and live aboard sailboats because they love it, I do not think the driving force behind most folks is "I want to be alone".

For me it is "I want to be free".

Your right, maybe not knowing H.D.T. Was a stretch. But I meant I wanted and intelligible answer. Like certain practices or pastimes that help rediscover ones desires and ideals over the basic answers.


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post #4 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

My goals are just things I look at and go "You know, that would be alright doing for years at a time".

If you are already a liveaboard, and you like it, then you already know many things that you do not care for.

Sounds like you are just sort of lonely though to be honest, how many real friends do you have. People you could leave for a year and come back and it would be like yesterday.

If you are looking for someone to tell you how they found out what they wanted to do with the rest of their life, or if their current life was what they wanted.

I think that is something people tend to work through on their own over time by finding out what makes them content or not.
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post #5 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

Try to do certain things that make you feel less lonely. Join a gym, local softball league, etc. etc. Maybe try to have a real relationship and not just a one night stand
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post #6 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

Can you describe the " Self you used to know so well" ? What is it about that person that you want to re-discover?

What are the topics of those conversations that " interest" you...or perplex you?

Who are you today? and what has changed?

Who do you want to be tomorrow? How are you going to get there?

Are you waiting for Godot?
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post #7 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

I see a deep, tortured, poet in the making. Think Goethe on an aging Coronado 43 center cockpit.

You can only rediscover yourself in the middle of the ocean, with the turquoise blue seas cresting over your cockpit coaming, the wind tousling your sun-bleached hair, the faint aroma of the toilet deodorant wafting through the cabin, and bacon frying the pan over your alcohol stove.

Go forth young man! Rediscover your tortured soul! The ocean awaits! Don't forget the EPIRB and some Scotch.

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post #8 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

If you weren't living aboard when you lost your "self", how do you expect to find it on a boat? The only mystery to life is why so many people want to make it so mysterious.

John
Ontario 32 - Aria

Free, is the heart, that lives not, in fear.
Full, is the spirit, that thinks not, of falling.
True, is the soul, that hesitates not, to give.
Alive, is the one, that believes, in love.
JCP


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post #9 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

...Oh, and keep a diary, in addition to the log...

...Monday, July 6, 2014: Dragged my tortured soul from the sweat-stained berth that has become my private hell, a drizzle continues to fall under a gray canopy of clouds...Granola bars and chocolate milk for breakfast, followed by a shot of Scotch and a Marboro Light... can't find my last joint...

The Coronado is making good progress under sail - logged another 32 miles yesterday, rolling from gunwhale to gunwhale with each swell...the gap between the hull and the deck appears stable, no longer separating further with each wave...caught a tuna and stared deep into its unblinking eye...gills quivering, implored it: "...denizen of the deep, what is the secret of life? How do you manage to swim so gaily daily? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"
Ate tuna and crackers for lunch...followed by another swallow of Scotch - make that 2 swallows...and 2 more Marlboro lights...I look upward toward the sky as I cry out, "oh Lord, save my tortured soul" as the Coronado slowly sinks into the waves...where is that friggin' EPIRB???

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post #10 of 74 Old 05-31-2014
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Re: Rediscovering one's "Self"

I think if you are 25 you are still evolving as a person. Making a rediscovery of a younger you probably does not make sense since you have gone beyond that person. What you probably need to do is discover who the new you might be.
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Back home on Lake Ontario after something over 36,000 nm circumnavigator. Not surprisingly there is a lot of stuff I want to get done on Ainia both cosmetically and functionally. Getting an early start so it will be ready to go for next summer (Lake Superior?).
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