Super Fuzzy Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney Australia
Thanked 128 Times in 119 Posts
Rep Power: 10
Properly executed this system with modifications can work. It uses all natural materials and could well solve your problem. Yes there were some teething problems but faint heart ne'er won fair marsupial.
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to save Wayne," Bruce told the bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Bunyip Bay Hospital. Bruce and his homosexual partner, Blinky Bill, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped , Wayne, our wombat, in," he explained. "As usual, BB shouted out 'Fosters,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried to retrieve Wayne but he simply would not come out, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next.
"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Blinky's colon. Flames shot out the tube, ignited Bruce's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the Wayne's fur and whiskers, causing it to scurry further up Blinky's colon, which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the marsupial out of the cardboard tube like a cannonball."
Brucei suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the wombat, while Blinky suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.
Sadly, Wayne the Wombat did not survive the incident.
It's sad to lose a cousin in such circumstances but it was in the interest of scientific research
ps - As SD has said walking on water s an option but you do need the right parents.
Andrew B (Malö 39 Classic)
“Life is a trick, and you get one chance to learn it.”
― Terry Pratchett.
Last edited by tdw; 03-08-2007 at 10:12 PM.