How to keep the first mate happy on long cruises - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 29 Old 04-05-2008 Thread Starter
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How to keep the first mate happy on long cruises

I think I've found the secret to keeping a first mate. We all know how guelling time at sea is, but, I think I've hit on the answer for a happy and content first mate.

Upon hitting a harbor, with a cruiser's net, I try to find out which are the best spas in town. Usually 3 or 4 women will come on with recommendations, most times with the same name. and usually at a luxury hotel.

Myself in need of some muscle straigtening, we pack up for a hotel overnighter, she goes into the spa for a massage, algae wrap, followed by a cleansing massage, depilation, manicure, pedicure, sometimes a hair treatment and gloss (I just learned these words).

For myself, I park myself in front of the swimming pool and ogle with a neverending banana colada in hand. Straightens the muscle very well.

5 hours later, a beautiful, soft, woman arrives, smelling of jasmine and spice, and I must say, the happiest I've ever seen her, and can't keep my hands off her. All the arguements for the last 4 days at sea are forgotten, God is in heaven, all's well on earth,

The best thing about it, is that it's 1/4 the price as in the US or Canada (at least here in Mexico anyway).

So, cruisers, here's my bit of advice. Most women really, deep down, don't like being at sea for days on end. They've done it for you, now it's time to do something for them. Makes further passages more bearable..

This post is being emailed to all youze girlfriends and wives.

Just checking in.
Where ya'll keep'n the wimmin 'round here?

Last edited by ianhlnd; 04-05-2008 at 10:57 PM.
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post #2 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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lol.... well, you can teach an old dog new tricks...

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post #3 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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ianhlnd, my girlfriend emailed me a link to this post. I'm not kidding. I didn't even know she was checking out sailnet. I'll have to watch my ps & qs.

She did a week with me on the Indian River for Spring Break. Her first extended cruise. I think she liked it well enough. She says she's going to spend the month of June on the boat.

But please don't give her crazy ideas about spas. If she wants to sail to Mexico with me where spas are a quarter the price, fine. But I'm on a cruiser's budget.

Pic of her sailing the boat:



Scott
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post #4 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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I'm just naturally suspicious.....

so, what's the odds of the better half commandeering Ianhlds Sailnet and posting this?

Naturally he'll have to take her to save face......sneaky....very sneaky.

of course, if I'm wrong......then I apologize profusely.....
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post #5 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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Threads like this make me realize my good fortune in the spouse department: my answer was "offer to paint the bilges and let her handle the deck this time".
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post #6 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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My wife will do ANYTHING I ask after a day at a spa. Ian is 1000% right about this. I personally dont want people running their hands all over me unless it is going to get to the goal line so to speak. But my wife loves it and as they say, happy wives .......
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post #7 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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I nominate Ian as the AFOC ladies man!

No longer posting. Reach me by PM!
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post #8 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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I'm not claiming any mental superiority but I figured this out a while ago. You old sailing salts have a ways to go to get up to modern days.
I joined a vacation club with 15 places (and growing) from Cancun to the Bahama's and the entire Windward island chain as part of it.
When the time comes we can bump anchor and sail from one all inclusive week of paradise to the next, season after season for the next 20 years and it's already paid for.
Best part is I get to hang out on the beach, bar and banquet with her and pretend I'm doing it for her ('cus God know's I"d rather be on the boat than surrounded by free booze and topless women).

If you'd like lessons, pm me
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post #9 of 29 Old 04-06-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by camaraderie View Post
I nominate Ian as the AFOC ladies man!
Cam I think it is more like this:


-- Jody

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post #10 of 29 Old 04-07-2008
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First Mates, like the rest of the crew, sign articles at the beginning of the voyage, usually not to exceed one year. What's all this malarkey about keeping them happy? Put 'em off in the next port and hire another one. In any event, I hardly think spa treatments are mandated under the Jones Act definition of maintenance and cure. (g)

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