Life Choice Crisis - Call for Adages & Wisdom - Page 3

nailbunnySPU · #21 (**permalink**) 10-08-2009

So let me get this straight.

You've got a big-ass boat near about ready to go, kids that are chomping at the bit to go, a wife that's ok with it and a pension to boot? Sounds to me that the work is behind you and all you have left to make are excuses.

You could sneak some pretty wild adventures in your vacation time, or you could stretch your resources out in some warm paradise with a generous exchange rate. It's all quality of life, what'll add more, cash or adventure?

Like all these morbid posters are insisting, you could keel over at any minute. Much better to have a heroic death at sea!

In the words of Tallahassee from Zombieland,
"Time to nut up or shut up!"

aerie · #22 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Definitely go now. A friend of mine did just what you are dreaming of doing after his wife was diagnosed with melanoma. They bought a boat, sold their business, rented their house and set off on a four-year circumnavigation learning how to sail, navigate, cruise along the way. Less than 2 years after they returned home, his wife died of melanoma. You can read about their life-changing experiences in the book his wife wrote "the Voyage of the Northern Magic" or explore their website at intro

You will come back a different person and your current career may no longer have meaning for you. I can remember an experience I had as a teen, walking through a cave with my mother when I commented that life was like this cave. We can only see the area illuminated right in front of us, the future is still in the dark. Now I believe we create our future by the choices we make today. No choice is a wrong choice, it's just a choice.

Go for your dream.

AdamLein · #23 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

In response to "my job has all these great qualities that I love" I am going to stick with my "Your life ain't broke, so stop trying to fix it," adage

Valiente · #24 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Go soon, but make sure your wife is TOTALLY onboard (not just a metaphor).

This means a lot of practical stuff, like having her crew on her own on deliveries, etc., having her handle EVERY ASPECT of taking out "your" boat, and so on.

She'll be standing watches alone, and so she'll have to know this stuff, because you can't be permanently on watch.

While she's doing this (and taking nav courses, basic medical training, etc.), you can be taking diesel maintenance, sailmaker, electronics and any other type of training in which you're deficit or need refreshing.

Your kids can get into Optimist/420 training, too. Get them used to the idea of being crew, not passengers.

Me (and you can read my blog as I am doing this) and my wife have deferred going until our kid is 10/11 because frankly, he can help more and also we feel that a few years in the public school system will prepare him in his study habits for tasking of continuing his education aboard.

Also, he'll get two more summers of sail training. This is not to be sneered at.

Lastly, we need time to renovate the house into two large flats so that we can defer the cost of diesel while we are gone several years.

But in principle, I approve of going sooner than later. Frankly, I doubt the seas will be the same in 20 years (when most people go, at retirement), and I do not think it will be as easy on a political basis to go to various interesting places as it is today...which would cut into the pleasure of cruising somewhat.

GreatWhite · #25 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Good points Valiente, thank you.

Regarding Adams comments though we get into the real philosophical debate:

If cruising is an antidote to some kind of issue that has arisen in a family or a person's day to day life (Examples of a 'issue' or 'need' might be a retirement, boredom, death of family member, sickness, divorce so one 'runs away' and creates a new meaningful life cruising.)
then, yes one should do what would make this dream happen and do the following:

-realistic financial plan
-training/experience
-reading
-knowing about boat maintenance
-knowing about the up sides as well as the down sides of cruising are
- picking the right kind of boat/trip plan/life style choice (eg simple/small vs big and lots of eqipement and conviences)
- ensure the wife (kids) are ready and get to be part of the training etc..

BUT what if someone has it all, happy family, great community, lots of lake sailing, good schools, financial stability, great friends, family, great job and career

IS IT WRONG to leave this (likely temporarily) for a crusing experience...and risk financial stability, risk the job and career, leave the safety of a safe community, and a grounded life style to TRAVEL and cruise???

nuffoftexas · #26 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreatWhite

BUT what if someone has it all, happy family, great community, lots of lake sailing, good schools, financial stability, great friends, family, great job and career. IS IT WRONG to leave this (likely temporarily) for a crusing experience...and risk financial stability, risk the job and career, leave the safety of a safe community, and a grounded life style to TRAVEL and cruise???

To quote some (great?) philosopher from some distant land and time - "and THAT, my friend, is the question only YOU can answer".

NCountry · #27 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

and another great philosopher said -

"When you get to the end you won't regret the things you did, you'll regret the things you didn't do."

MoonSailer · #28 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Life is so uncertain that you probably should do what you want to do. Who knows you may be dead in 5 years!!!! You could sink your boat and kill your whole family!!!! No one knows the future so the best advice that I can give is that if you really want to go then go. If you have reasonable doubts then maybe sail on weekends and on vacations. My kids who are now grown rarely enjoyed being on the boat. After they get 10-12 most kids would rather be around other kids. It is really about you!!!! But there will never be a perfect time to load the boat and leave the dock. Now we have grandkids that we love and want to spend some time with them.

AdamLein · #29 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

It's certainly not "wrong" as I don't think you'll be doing yourself or your family a disservice by cutting the docklines and heading out to sea.

My point though is, from the way you've been talking about your life, it doesn't really sound like it has the sort of "issues" you mention. So maybe instead of asking, "Is it WRONG to risk everything and go cruising?", you should consider asking, "Is it WRONG to enjoy my work, be financially stable, and take my family sailing for four weeks at a time?" Obviously not!

Everybody who's saying, "Only you can answer these questions" is right; I'm not trying to deter you from your dream, but rather, to point out that the life you're living now sounds pretty good!

sww914 · #30 (**permalink**) 10-09-2009

Worked, retired, pension, vacations, kids off to college isn't a very good story.
Sailed off, weathered storms and pirates, caught a 1000 lb tuna, discovered treasure, and saved a 3rd world village is a much better story.