Life Choice Crisis - Call for Adages & Wisdom

[chris_gee]

You forgot the mermaid.

[MoonSailer]

It is so difficult to give up a known comfortable life for an unknown life. I have been gnashing my teeth all summer about quiting work to go sailing. My wife said OK and she will retire. But I keep procrastinating. It is really impossible to know if you will like the cruising lifestyle until it is experienced. Sure we like a week ot two on the boat during vacations but months at a time?? It always feels good to be home again in a clean dry bed after a long hot shower. As noted about jobs I know that if I leave for 6-12 months that I most probably can't get my job back. It is a hard choice. A comfortable well worn path or a road less traveled????

[GreatWhite]

Robert Frost:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

[wind_magic]

My humble contribution to this thread is simply that it is interesting to read about married people and families and hear about their cruising dilemmas. It is all so foreign to me that I always learn a lot when reading about it.

[cruisingmom]

We went cruising for a year with our 3 kids and loved it. It was a magical , life changing experience.My husband had a job again in a month, I had a job in 2 weeks upon return.I , like your wife, am not the best of sailers but loved living on a boat. One of our kids was already 13, and had the best time of her life. The 11 year old and 4 year old boys had fun too. The only problem is coming home. It gets in your blood. We are hoping for another trip before she goes to college.
However, we have friends who are lifelong sailers but never left for more than a few weeks from home base. They cruised several weeks every summer with their kids, they have a close family and great adult children and nearby grandchildren.
Only you can decide, but I hopes this helps!

[Valiente]

Originally Posted by GreatWhite

IS IT WRONG to leave this (likely temporarily) for a crusing experience...and risk financial stability, risk the job and career, leave the safety of a safe community, and a grounded life style to TRAVEL and cruise???

No, of course it's not WRONG, but it may not be RIGHT for you and your family.

Obviously, you enjoy and possess enough stability, job satisfaction and good family life to die in your office chair at 65 with a smile on your face and no regrets. It is equally clear that you have an adventuresome streak in you, or perhaps just an itch to explore and maybe push yourself out of what is perhaps an all-too-comfortable zone of familiarity.

Frankly, these are nice problems to have. I equate it to "oh, dear, my yacht is broken!" About 99% of humanity would consider that a blessing, if they could even comprehend the wealth and leisure needed to have a yacht in the first place.

So I would suggest that you not question the validity of "leaving behind" the stability, but question whether a radical simplification of your material life as is typical in long-term cruising would be enough for you.

I've already told my 8-year-old that life aboard will be measured in distance made good and amp-hours stored, and that "DVD night" will be a treat subject to power, weather and other social factors, not something enjoyed because he stowed away his bedding properly.

I've also told him that while his opportunities to develop his inner life will be many, his opportunities to goof around with other kids will be fewer, but that he may well develop friendships that last a lifetime.

I've also stressed the unique opportunities to see the world away from the tourist-approved itineraries and the Disneyfied resorts.

But I certainly haven't sugar-coated how much sheer work will be involved. He does see a two-hour schoolday as a bonus, however.

So maybe you have to ask yourself some hard questions before asking others. Just a thought.

[MikeinLA]

Originally Posted by GreatWhite

Regarding ocean sailing, although it is filled with allure and intrigue for me, it is also a source of unease as I have only about 5 weeks of ocean sailing under my belt so far.

OK, I have an idea. Since the stakes are really high, is there a way that you and the family could arrange an offshore charter/trip together for a few weeks? I'm thinking that being out of sight of land for a while might give you more information about how much you and the family really like it. If daysailing is the family's only reference point, they could be in for a big surprise, either pleasant or not so much. Just a thought.

In reference to an earlier poster, this is definitely a "quality problem". "Hmmm... keep my idyllic life or swap for another idyllic life."

Mike

[Valiente]

That's a good idea. Get a long charter going, preferably on a boat with some miles on it. Then you'll learn the reality: Cruising is frequently boat repair in exotic locales!

On the other hand, you'll get to have that feeling of having really earned your sundowner.

[sww914]

Security is a myth. 3 years ago I had a really good job and so did my wife. 401K, house near the bay, all the cool stuff.
She got hurt at work, bad. Ended up in a wheelchair. 3 days later I was laid off. Within 6 months my 401K was worth 60% of what it had been. Within a year my house was worth just over 1/2 what I paid. I depended on other people and in-place systems for my "security" and it all failed. I have decided to depend on myself and my family and our own skills and intelligence from now on, thank you very much. Things are better now, we've sold the wheelchair.

[GreatWhite]

sww, good on you. It sounds like you have turned a rough situation into a better way to live. Best of luck!