Life Choice Crisis - Call for Adages & Wisdom

[dongreerps]

The old saw goes that life is a game, and the guy with the most toys at the end of the game wins. Wrong! It is the guy who HAS PLAYED WITH the most toys that wins!
You present yourself as between the horns with a nearly perfect present life on one horn, and an idyllic dream on the other. You then borrow trouble by forcing yourself to make a decision today that will not be implemented for 4-6 years. It is highly unlikely you will face the same circumstances in 2 years, let alone 4. If the promotion in 2 years turns out to be a bitter change, the decision will be easy. If it turns out to be better than dreamed about, demand at least three 3 week vacations every year, and take your cruise in small chunks instead of one large chunk. (which you might choke on anyway.)
Met an orthodontist with family who was cruising part time. He flew home and worked (12-14 hours a day, for 14-18 days straight), then caught the red eye to rejoin the family who had been intensively experiencing the indigenous culture. They would spend 2 or three days, then sail off to the next set of islands, moor, settle in, and off he went for another set of work. Aside from existing in a one room hovel while working, he had the best of two worlds.
When the choice between two options is not clear, then neither is the best FOR YOU, and the decision either needs to be put off, or further information collected. Until the choice becomes clear
This forum could be of great service to you if others contributed thoughts outside the box, as well as advocating what was best FOR THEM.

[wind_magic]

Is it really a choice between two equally good things ?

I will say it this way - a five year old could make the choice without any problems at all. Hmm, go to work every day, or sail on a boat everyday ? Wow that is a really hard choice isn't it.

I understand the pull in both directions, truly, but I wonder if it is really a pull in two directions because of the actual desire to be in both places at the same time. Put it another way, if you had all the money you could reasonably want, would the choice still be hard to make, would you still be wishing you were sitting there at home and going to work everyday because its so much fun ?

Maybe the real choice isn't between two really great things, but rather on the one hand a life that has a lot of security, predictability, creature comfort, etc, and on the other hand a life that is filled with fun and excitement, but doesn't have all the other things. If so then I don't really think the decision is between two really great things as much as it is a decision about whether the one really great thing is worth the risk.

[wind_magic]

I think the reason the decision to leave on a boat would be so easy for a young person to make is because for them it is about fun and excitement, novelty, etc, and they haven't yet learned (or been trained) to avoid risk, to fear, to make compromises, and other such things. Adults are the ones who have learned to negotiate, but sometimes it is hard to understand what has been gained by our ability to compromise, or to even remember how or why we learned to do it.

Risk. 1. the possibility of incurring misfortune or loss; hazard.

Hazard. 1. exposure or vulnerability to injury, loss, evil, etc.

Compromise. 1. to arrive at a settlement by making concessions. 2. to reduce the quality, value, or degree of something.

Concession. [see Concede]

Concede. 1. to yield.

Yield. 2a. to give up, as in defeat; surrender or submit. 2b. to give way to pressure or force. 2c. to give way to argument, persuasion, influence, or entreaty. 2d. to give up one's place, as to one that is superior.

Surrender. 1. to relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion. 2. to give up in favor of another. 3. to give up or give back (something that has been granted). 4. to give up or abandon: surrender all hope. 5. to give up or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion.

Tenacious. 1. holding or tending to hold persistently to something, such as a point of view.

Persistence. 1. the act of persisting. 2. the state or quality of being persistent, persistency. 3. continuation of an effect after the cause is removed.

Persistent. 1. refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately.

Uncompromising. 1. Unwilling to grant concessions or negotiate.

"A man will renounce any pleasures you like but he will not give up his suffering" - Gurdjieff

[zAr]

Seems to me from your title that the status quo is the source of the crisis. You have to cruise or it won't resolve. If you don't cruise, you'll always wonder, and thus the crisis would be ongoing.

[GreatWhite]

Originally Posted by wind_magic

Is it really a choice between two equally good things ?

I will say it this way - a five year old could make the choice without any problems at all. Hmm, go to work every day, or sail on a boat everyday ? Wow that is a really hard choice isn't it.

I understand the pull in both directions, truly, but I wonder if it is really a pull in two directions because of the actual desire to be in both places at the same time. Put it another way, if you had all the money you could reasonably want, would the choice still be hard to make, would you still be wishing you were sitting there at home and going to work everyday because its so much fun ?

Maybe the real choice isn't between two really great things, but rather on the one hand a life that has a lot of security, predictability, creature comfort, etc, and on the other hand a life that is filled with fun and excitement, but doesn't have all the other things. If so then I don't really think the decision is between two really great things as much as it is a decision about whether the one really great thing is worth the risk.

Yes and no...

Some days going to work feels so wrong and I can't believe we're not cruising. There are days where my body hurts from sitting in an office and being on the computer too long or days where it just feel that it is so difficult and pointless to toil away in an office with all the stuff that goes along with that environment...

But I know some days will be also be challenging when we are out cruising... days where stuff breaks... the kids are cranky...

I think the difference will be the good days. A good day sailing is WAY better
than a good day at work.

Is it safe to say?: 'a bad day sailing is better than a good day at work.'

[St Anna]

Aaargh, you guys talk too much. Just get out on the water and send Smacker a BFS post. Most things break or stop working for some reason at some time. Always have a plan B.

[wind_magic]

Originally Posted by GreatWhite

Yes and no...

Some days going to work feels so wrong and I can't believe we're not cruising. There are days where my body hurts from sitting in an office and being on the computer too long or days where it just feel that it is so difficult and pointless to toil away in an office with all the stuff that goes along with that environment...

But I know some days will be also be challenging when we are out cruising... days where stuff breaks... the kids are cranky...

I think the difference will be the good days. A good day sailing is WAY better
than a good day at work.

Is it safe to say?: 'a bad day sailing is better than a good day at work.'

No doubt about it, work can be very fulfilling, but it is still work. If anybody can't tell the difference between work and play then maybe they have been working for too long! If you can't think of at least 100 things you'd rather be doing than working then that is just very sad.

You need deprogramming.

I recommend sunshine, fresh air, boat with sails, water ...

[wind_magic]

star filled skies, pot luck dinners, beach volleyball, scuba, lobsters, dinghy racing, sand castles, hammock, coconuts, sunsets, breezes, tuna, crab, bicycle riding, ...

[wind_magic]

camping, water fights, volleyball, surfing, going to see ancient ruins in far away places, sleeping, watching meteor showers, ...

[MarioG]

If I could sell my business I would be gone. Like you I love what I do and it has made for a great life. And because it was a hobbie turn profession I don't see being able to walk away from it totally or forever.
I also understand that crusing is work and fixing things ...my wife thinks thats one of the reasons I like it. I do like to feel like I'm doing something productive and helpful for the most part. Ideal for me would bounce port to port working on boats for people or other short term jobs and cruise.

My passions seem to lead me and the wife knows when the opportunity presents its self, I'm willing to fix it. Life will always be a risk and in the end I will have no regrets.

I to think you have a few years to work this out and its hard to say what you will be faced with at that time, Keep the opportunity open ,(not selling the boat) and because you seem to have made good choices for yourself in the past I'm sure it will work out for you.

Good luck I hope you get out there.