Well, you might try another tact.
If you don't want this debate, how about you just consider that you are alone sailing. Not literally, just in your own mind. Run lines
, both sides of the deck, always be in a harness
, when you go out of the cabin shackel your harness
onto one of the lines
Sailing is often a very small part of what we actually do, unless your going 28 days from the Panama canal to the Galapagoes. If your sailing to the Bahamas, so it takes 3 or 4 days - that's not a lot to be in a harness
. You'll be in port for weeks whooping it up with your loved one.
Harnesse are really not a bad idea for either of you on the open water. If you fall in, you can pull yourself back on. Think about it. If you fall over the side alone or fall over the side while she's not on watch you're done for anyway if you aren't attached to the boat. Be safe. If you switch watches, she is on and your off, the same goes for her too. You won't be there when she goes over the side, you'll be asleep below. Hopefully you'll hear a yelp but maybe not. So, do the best you can so you don't need her to manuever back to get you.
I remember one thing a sailing instructor said to me, if you see someone go over the side and you know you don't have the skill to manuever the boat. Take a bearing, let go all the halyards, start your engine and turn around - don't try to be an expert sailor if you're really not one.