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  #51  
Old 02-03-2012
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maybe sharks are fatter along cruiser routes?
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My boat is for sale.
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  #52  
Old 02-04-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KookyCapt View Post
...Maybe not the one I would have chosen, but that would be OK.
Arranged marriage???
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  #53  
Old 02-04-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jameswilson29 View Post
Arranged marriage???
Ah, the things we can do, with quotes taken out of context.
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still has some glitches to be worked out. Until then, I'm posting at:
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! And a new project:
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  #54  
Old 02-04-2012
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Another sailing couple in need of marriage counseling!

"What do you mean I am not the one you would have chosen?

I have seen you staring at that woman on the powerboat in the Brazilian thong bikini!

Go ahead, you think you can sail without me...I will take my overflowing desire to overflow somewhere else!"

Paging Dr. Phil...
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  #55  
Old 02-04-2012
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The last woman that caught my attention on a nearby boat was wearing less than a Brazillian thong whatever. Zip, nada. Right on the mooring next to us. We refer to her frequently as that French girl, when we tell the story. The really funny part is that we have no recollection as to why we believe she was French.

My wife and I are still happily saling together. It could not be ignored.
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  #56  
Old 02-04-2012
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Follow-up from OP....

We've had numerous discussions and a sailing instructor has been recommended. Since we'll be at the boat before March, the timing for this thread has been perfect.

However, I want to note for the benefit of others. We married right out of high school and immediately were immersed in an academic environment. She pursued a career in Education and I in Management. Although we physically built our own home, I was lead carpenter, she was lead helper. Otherwise, her life was Mom to four sons, husband, and teacher.

It wasn't until 40 years later that we bought a boat and began a six month cruise. It was at this time I noticed totally unexpected "issues" pertaining to navigation, charts, and using certain boat equipment. Candidly, I have little patience when an intelligent person doesn't quickly learn to perform what I see as a simple task or learn a simple concept..if the person is intelligent, it must be an attitude problem, right? However, several other recent land "incidents" have also occurred causing me to suggest to my educator wife that the "boat problem" may be much more heavily aptitude based than attitude based. I have no reason to feel age is a factor, but rather think these boat related tasks and concepts are totally different than those she has ever encountered in her prior 40 years, ... other than learning to drive stick shift and down-hill skiing. I have always handled the mechanical tasks in our daily lives..

An academic classroom instructor has little interaction with mechanical items and support people are available if any problems occur. There is no need to "think through" or analyze anything mechanical in a text book. But a boat is entirely mechanical! ...imposing a myriad of new problems and devices never encountered before. ...and what may seem extremely elementary to most of us could be an unbelievable hurdle to someone not blessed with mechanical aptitude. As Sherlock Holmes said "When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."

In our case, I no longer think it's lack of desire, but rather aptitude. Even though she grew up on a farm and in a rural setting, three brothers were the mechanics relegating her to traditional domestic tasks. So from toddler to retiree, she was never exposed to mechanical concepts ... causing "boat things" to be like someone speaking Swahili and wondering why you don't respond. I will now approach the situation from an entirely different position.

Definition: Disappointment = when expectations exceed reality.

So men, if your sweet little lady just can't get it, it may be that she never had it from the start. Divide the tasks so she can perform what she is capable of doing safely and PATIENTLY realize she MAY never understand how your Davis windex determines which way to turn the wheel when tacking. And if necessary, lower your expectations. Look at the positives, it will develop your skill getting out of irons.

Ladies, please don't flame me unless you really understand what I'm saying.
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  #57  
Old 02-04-2012
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I'm not convinced aptitude is anything more than a justification. I mean, rudimentary sailing, isn't exactly rocket science. I would say it is quite a bit easier than other tasks such as operating a motor vehicle. The difference is that we typically learn to drive a vehicle earlier in life and even those that don't do it well end up perform that task repetitively until they are able to do it without too much concentration.

I had a guest onboard, an intelligent 30-year old girl. I told her that using a tiller was "easier than steering a car". She took the helm for less than 5 minutes on a beam reach and decided it was "too hard" and questioned why I said it was easier to learn than a car. I asked her if she was immediately able to drive a car as well as she did today or if she spent days in Driver's Ed program and years perfecting it... she saw my point.

The same will happen if you give an adult a guitar; If they have no interest or desire to learn and spend the hours and hours and hours to practice, they'll consider the instrument difficult. It's not aptitude, it's just the attitude to stick with the program. Anyone can play but not everyone can play well.

Aptitude may limit the maximum skill in sailing, driving or a musical instrument but it doesn't prevent someone from learning the basics.

Last edited by JordanH; 02-04-2012 at 04:10 PM.
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  #58  
Old 02-04-2012
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Condescending...

Look how the language usage in the 2 previous posts reveals condescending attitudes toward women:

Referring to your wife as a "sweet little lady" or "beauty queen" objectifies her and portrays her as some than less than an equal. Who care if you have greater mechanical appitude? I am fairly certain she possesses abilities and talents greater than yours in certain areas, such as human relations and empathy.

Referring to a 30 year old female as a "girl" similarly reflects a condescending attitude. A 30 year old female is a woman, not a girl. What does that say about how you view her?
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  #59  
Old 02-04-2012
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Could she sail the boat if necessary?-attitudeproblem-300x225.jpg


Says it all
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  #60  
Old 02-04-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jameswilson29 View Post
Look how the language usage in the 2 previous posts reveals condescending attitudes toward women:



Referring to a 30 year old female as a "girl" similarly reflects a condescending attitude. A 30 year old female is a woman, not a girl. What does that say about how you view her?
What ridiculous rubbish you've posted. Female, woman, lady, girl, none of which are derogatory, none of which are slang or demeaning. If you want specifics she's actually 34, my age, and would fall down laughing if she read what your non-construcive post.

To be constructive, lets talk about better methods for generating interest in sailing. I really want to motivate my girlfriend/wife (or should I call her womanfriend?) as well as generate interest in a bunch of my other friends - male/female/boys/girls/men/women - in sailing so they can serve as crew.
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