Could she sail the boat if necessary? - SailNet Community

   Search Sailnet:

 forums  store  


Quick Menu
Forums           
Articles          
Galleries        
Boat Reviews  
Classifieds     
Search SailNet 
Boat Search (new)

Shop the
SailNet Store
Anchor Locker
Boatbuilding & Repair
Charts
Clothing
Electrical
Electronics
Engine
Hatches and Portlights
Interior And Galley
Maintenance
Marine Electronics
Navigation
Other Items
Plumbing and Pumps
Rigging
Safety
Sailing Hardware
Trailer & Watersports
Clearance Items

Advertise Here






Go Back   SailNet Community > Out There > Cruising & Liveaboard Forum
 Not a Member? 


Like Tree71Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 01-27-2012
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 13
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
bchaps is on a distinguished road
Could she sail the boat if necessary?

About two years ago I was discussing our cruising plans with a part-time sailing instructor and he said "it's not your sailing skills that should be of concern, but your wife's! Could she turn the boat and get you into port if necessary?" My honest answer was "I doubt it". After spending six months cruising the Keys and US East Coast, my answer to that same question now is "absolutely not!"

Understand, my wife is a fantastic First Mate...pulls wire in the tiny floor lockers, sands and refinishes teak, cleans, cooks, helps with oil changes and hands tools when I'm half buried in the bilge. But she has no idea how to sail the boat. Yes, she does an off-coast auto pilot night watch with me sleeping in the cockpit. But as that instructor asked, I must conclude if I'm incapacitated, there isn't a chance she can drop the sails, determine a heading to return, or even dream of docking. If absolutely necessary, she could drop anchor but is clueless about the dangers of injury during windlass operation.

Now if you're thinking..."what a ditz he's got". My sweet little beauty queen has several advanced science/math degrees in stuff I can't even spell let alone comprehend and she taught her last six years at college level until retiring.

What is lacking is desire! Just as I have no desire to understand simultaneous equations or how to balance electrons in a chemical compound, she has no desire to pick up a sailing book, learn to dock the boat, navigate, or take a sailing course.

I must now think of each cruise plan with an eye to "exposure" or the amount of time in open water. The Bahamas is our next adventure creating approximately 10 - 12 hours "exposure" time while crossing the Gulf Stream.

I know my situation isn't unique...I've observed Captains yelling at the First Mate to drop a line, push off the piling, back down on the anchor, and on and on, telling me that First Mate doesn't understand what is necessary either.

Am I asking too much? ...should I just drop to my knees and thank the Good Lord she is willing to sail with me and help in all the ways she does? ...or should I be concerned for her well being if "the big one" nails me?

What do you do? Can your First Mate sail/dock the boat?
chef2sail likes this.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #2  
Old 01-27-2012
Lake Superior Sailor's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Eagle River Wi.
Posts: 908
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Rep Power: 4
Lake Superior Sailor is on a distinguished road
I'm still looking for the one that can! Singlehanded sailor..Dale
__________________
Reluctant Lady
Cal 28, 1967
Lake Superior
Where God got it done!
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #3  
Old 01-27-2012
davidpm's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison
Posts: 3,697
Thanks: 166
Thanked 38 Times in 31 Posts
Rep Power: 7
davidpm is on a distinguished road
Buy a sat phone?

Are you absolutely sure it is no desire or is it no desire to compete with you.
Have you discussed the safety implications of her lack of skills?

And yes I suspect many of us have a similar problem.
It could be lack of interest, lack of strength or just not much experience.

You could fake an injury.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #4  
Old 01-27-2012
DRFerron's Avatar
A mod and her dragon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: SE Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,911
Thanks: 55
Thanked 133 Times in 123 Posts
Rep Power: 10
DRFerron is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchaps View Post
Can your First Mate sail/dock the boat?
Yes, he can.
__________________
Donna


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Catalina 30 TRFK

Contributing Editor
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
magazine

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Rock Hall Cruising Station

All things that are, are equally removed from being nothing. John Donne
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #5  
Old 01-27-2012
wingNwing's Avatar
formerly posting as eryka
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: aboard s/v Cinderella
Posts: 1,123
Thanks: 5
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Rep Power: 7
wingNwing is on a distinguished road
Yep, mine can too. That's not to say we don't have our complementary strengths - he's the better sail trimmer, I'm the better navigator - but as a matter of safety, each of us has learned to do all the tasks required on the boat if even at a rudimentary level.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Cinderella, CSY 33, Photo by Joe McCary

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. - Sidney J. Harris


Shameless self-promotion - my blog for the Annapolis Capital newspaper:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
still has some glitches to be worked out. Until then, I'm posting at:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
! And a new project:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #6  
Old 01-27-2012
Bristol 45.5 - AiniA
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,226
Thanks: 3
Thanked 66 Times in 58 Posts
Rep Power: 9
killarney_sailor is on a distinguished road
My wife can do most things - she will not dock the boat. Last year I had an incredible staph infection on the top of the back of one leg. The swelling reached the size of a softball and I had a bit of a fever and could not get comfortable lying down or sitting - standing was ok. My wife mostly singlehanded for about a week between Easter Island and Pitcairn Island - which is a particuiarly empty part of the ocean - plus she did treatments (hot compresses, cleaning out the crud, put on topical antibiotics, put on new dressings - twice a day. I did some watches and that was about it - the infection also went I tired more easily than normal. She did not know she could do all this, but I sort of suspected that she could since she is pretty tough and resilient - grew up in China during the Cultural Revolution etc. She is now much more confident. She certainly did not enjoy it but knows she can do it.
__________________
Finished the circumnavigation in early February in Grenada. Have to work on a book project for the next several months so the boat will be waiting for next year.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #7  
Old 01-27-2012
DRFerron's Avatar
A mod and her dragon
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: SE Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,911
Thanks: 55
Thanked 133 Times in 123 Posts
Rep Power: 10
DRFerron is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by bchaps View Post

Am I asking too much? ...should I just drop to my knees and thank the Good Lord she is willing to sail with me and help in all the ways she does? ...or should I be concerned for her well being if "the big one" nails me?
It's possible that your dream isn't her dream and that she found tasks that she likes to do (or doesn't mind doing) in order to spend quality time with you. Otherwise, would you sail off and leave her at home? Not saying there's anything wrong with that, but it would be time you aren't together.

As far as her knowing how to dock and navigate, I am a proponent of all owners of a boat knowing how to return to the dock or, at the very least, drop anchor in a safe spot and wait for help, but it's possible that your wife will draw on her intelligence having watched you do all that and work it out. It might not be a picture perfect docking, but how often does that happen anyway?
__________________
Donna


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Catalina 30 TRFK

Contributing Editor
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
magazine

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Rock Hall Cruising Station

All things that are, are equally removed from being nothing. John Donne
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #8  
Old 01-28-2012
wingNwing's Avatar
formerly posting as eryka
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: aboard s/v Cinderella
Posts: 1,123
Thanks: 5
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Rep Power: 7
wingNwing is on a distinguished road
Um, with all respect, you should be having this conversation with *her* instead of with us? She's probably the best person to tell you her take on this and why she isn't interested in learning.

Maybe, as Donna has implied, she's doing what she can to support your dream (which isn't hers). Maybe she's looking at the scene you describe of "...Captains yelling at the First Mate to drop a line, push off the piling, back down on the anchor, and on and on, telling me that First Mate doesn't understand what is necessary..." and thinking she wants to stay away from that. Wow. Notice how paternalistic and sexist that quote out of context sounds? I wouldn't want any part of it either.
jameswilson29 and BentSailor like this.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Cinderella, CSY 33, Photo by Joe McCary

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. - Sidney J. Harris


Shameless self-promotion - my blog for the Annapolis Capital newspaper:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
still has some glitches to be worked out. Until then, I'm posting at:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
and
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
! And a new project:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #9  
Old 01-28-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,077
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 10
sawingknots is on a distinguished road
some couples have and do work well together,others not so much,i usually sail alone,if a mistake is made i'm the only one to suffer,i fully expect there are woman sailors who are much more skilled and knowlegible than me but thats my call and my a** if the shi* hits the fan
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #10  
Old 01-28-2012
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,077
Thanks: 1
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Rep Power: 10
sawingknots is on a distinguished road
why does laura dekker keep coming into my mind!
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

 
Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First sail on new boat ... first sail while snowing killarney_sailor General Discussion (sailing related) 10 03-07-2012 10:08 PM
Just bought my first Sail Boat, don't know how to Sail :P MastaFunk Introduce Yourself 11 09-27-2009 06:36 PM
The Club Marine Sail Boat Show this weekend - Sail World NewsReader News Feeds 0 03-22-2007 06:15 PM
Melbourne Club Marine Sail Boat Show - Sail World NewsReader News Feeds 0 03-18-2007 06:15 PM
Sail boat depriciation Sail boat depreciation schedule? rockDAWG General Discussion (sailing related) 40 10-12-2006 02:14 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:50 PM.

Add to My Yahoo!         
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
(c) Marine.com LLC 2000-2012

The SailNet.com store is owned and operated by a company independent of the SailNet.com forum. You are now leaving the SailNet forum. Click OK to continue or Cancel to return to the SailNet forum.