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  #111  
Old 08-08-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by DRFerron View Post
In case you change your mind, that has already been solved. I saw a megayacht show on TV where the yacht was designed so that the owners never had to see the crew. Ever. The crew had separate stairs and paths throughout the boat.
I still wouldn't even want them onboard. We do dirty things out to sea which I wouldn't want any prying eyes to see.... :-)
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  #112  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Well I just spent the better part of an hour wading through all the pages on this thread and what I can say is that now I know for sure that size IS an issue for you guys

On a more serious note. I am a woman, and Manny and I have been living aboard together for over 20 years. For the record we began living aboard on a Catalina 27 and now live aboard a Fortune 30. We have running water (as well as foot pumps), a well fitted out galley, AC and many more homey comforts.

I do believe that our relationship is stronger for the years of cruising and living aboard. Life at sea teaches you to problem solve and to work as a team. Living in a small space requires good communication skills and a little inginuity when time out is necessary. Manny uses our aft cabin for all his tools and spare parts, so that it has gradulally become his space. Now he has a small TV there. Often he'll watch a movie on it when he just wants time out. Some evenings he'll sit there and I'll stretch out in the main cabin with a book. On the hook one of us might take off in the dinghy for an hour or so, or go to the hamock in the bow. Too much togetherness can get a little intense.

One thing is for sure, we are healthier for our lifestyle. In our late 50's we note that we are more agile, and have stronger bodies than many of our land based friends. We are less stressed.

Would a bigger boat make a difference to our relationship? No I don't think so although handling a 50 foot boat would be stressful for me. A larger boat would make life aboard more comfortable and allow us to have visitors for longer periods of time.

What I do miss is the company of women. I have had to get used to being surrounded by men most of the time. Its changing but the sailing community is still predominantly male. This summer for the first time here, we have another couple living aboard next to us. I've really enjoyed chats in the cockpit and sharing stories over a cup of tea with her.

Robyn
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  #113  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

From Yofy: "A larger boat would make life aboard more comfortable..."

And that is the unarguable bottom line which has been fairly elusive to extract from the die hard "we love our 30 something footer" group. :-)

A more comfortable life.... and there you have it.
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  #114  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Sheesh Doug, everyone has been in agreement on that from the beginning! That's not what we've been debating here, is it?

Yofy, nice to see you here. I've been enjoying your blog for a while now.
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  #115  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by DougSabbag View Post
From Yofy: "A larger boat would make life aboard more comfortable..."

And that is the unarguable bottom line which has been fairly elusive to extract from the die hard "we love our 30 something footer" group. :-)

A more comfortable life.... and there you have it.
Apparently it is not inarguable.
We have all been arguing about it for pages now.
I didn't realize that the end goal here is for us to agree with you, Doug. I still don't. I'd much rather have a well equipped cozy 30 footer than a 50 ft + boat.
Different tastes, different needs different desires. You like what you like, I like what I like.
Why do you have such a problem with that, and feel it is necessary to denigrate anyone who doesn't think bigger is better, as seen, yet again, with your comment quoted above?
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Last edited by bljones; 08-09-2012 at 06:22 PM.
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  #116  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Why do you have such a problem with that, and feel it is necessary to denigrate anyone who doesn't think bigger is better, as seen, yet again, with your comment quoted above?

He obviously is a short guy with a small pecker. To hang with the big dog's he needs to "buy" his way in with the 50 footer. Since he hasn't got to far offshore yet, and seems to enjoy his creature comforts at the dock, he is just pissing in the wind here.....
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  #117  
Old 08-09-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

As obvious as it may seem, a strong relationship endures (without going into all the things that make a strong relationship), weak ones do not.
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  #118  
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Hmmm, so been looking at prices of these different boat sizes.
Gotta say it's pretty obvious price increase is exponential with size.
For instance while a 20 something footer is usually <$10 thousand,
and 30 footers are between $8-100 thousand,
40 footers are around $100-300
and 50 footers are $300 thousand to 1.5 million

my parents been paying off a $250 thousand house mortgage for almost 20 years now,
even though they both have full time jobs, as high paying computer programmers.
meaning they come home from work really tired and have no energy for family.
When I was living with them, I decided I would actually be available for my children.
Is one of the main reasons having no or minimal debt is so important,
besides setting an example of how to cut off the banks' trough (interest),
they get plenty enough money from hijacking currency and enslaving nations.

Anyways to fit into my marina of choice, which is non-profit do-it-yourself style,
have to have a boat that's under 36ft long.
I can get a cheap 30 something footer, if willing to do the maintenance..

In terms of single-handing, I have perhaps a romantic notion of doing it with minimal (no) electronics,
so would prefer to have a tiller for mechanical steering, and maybe a cutter or yawl rig for sail balance.
I always like to consider, what if all those NWO plans pan out, and the option becomes live free or die.
So I prefer to go with things that we can make and maintain ourselves with mostly foraged stuff,
is why my ideal boat would be ferrocement, as they are much easier to make,
cement and iron is easier to produce than fiberglass and vinyl ester,
obviously are also not flammable, and easier to repair underway,
can get a 36ft one for $4,000 at the moment,
fitted out for liveaboard with pressure water,
maybe we'll get it sooner rather than later.

For alone time, I don't think any boat could be big enough, since we produce energetic fields (aura's).
Usually when I want "alone time" what I Really want is "nature time" i.e. time to be in a forest, or swiming with some life forms, to recharge energetic fields. So for that the best thing is a dinghy for getting to shore, or a snorkle/scuba for diving. Often enough my spouse even opts to go with me.
Typically I take advantage of these excursions to do some chores like composting seedballing (giving) or foraging (receiving).

I wouldn't even consider having a washer/dryer since we don't use one now,
only thing we really need for it is a tub with some standing room for washing,
and somewhere to hang our clothing to dry.

But ya, gonna get my spouse's list of items she'd like on saturday,
I can imagine the main thing will be room for the kids.
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  #119  
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

I'd pass on the ferro-cement boat for sale on kijiji. In fact, I'd pass on ferro-cement for a first boat,
It was a romantic idea in the 60s and early 70s, as was engineless cruising and cruising without electronics...
And some, like Lyn and Larry Pardey have managed to build a career around it, but from a practical standpoint, especially in crowded anchorages like those in Toronto, Oakville and Hamilton Harbour, it is a very bad idea.

Regarding debt, there is good debt and bad debt- Good debt is getting a mortgage at 5% in a hot housing market where prices are rising 8-10% annually...like Toronto over the past three or four years. Bad debt is being stupid enough to buy a house in Toronto now. By being scared of interest you are limiting how fast your cruising kitty can grow, and ironically, lengthening the time it takes to get truly debt free.
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  #120  
Old 08-10-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by bljones View Post
Apparently it is not inarguable.
We have all been arguing about it for pages now.
I didn't realize that the end goal here is for us to agree with you, Doug. I still don't. I'd much rather have a well equipped cozy 30 footer than a 50 ft + boat.
Different tastes, different needs different desires. You like what you like, I like what I like.
Why do you have such a problem with that, and feel it is necessary to denigrate anyone who doesn't think bigger is better, as seen, yet again, with your comment quoted above?
Quote:
Originally Posted by DougSabbag View Post
From Yofy: "A larger boat would make life aboard more comfortable..."

And that is the unarguable bottom line which has been fairly elusive to extract from the die hard "we love our 30 something footer" group. :-)

A more comfortable life.... and there you have it.
"A more comfortable life ..." A more comfortable life ... not boat, but life ... A boat is part of a life, but not the complete picture. Let's look at the whole picture.

You have a large comfortable boat and a job - right now, a "regular" job, in the future you intend to charter the large comfortable boat, by my definition, still a "job" as you cater to someone else's needs & schedule than your own.

I have a small comfortable boat and no need for a job - not now nor ever in the future (barring the sort of political developments whose discussion would move this thread to off-topic).

You enjoy doing the maintenance on that large boat. I enjoy watching someone else support his family by doing the maintenance on our small boat, his work paid for with the money left over from purchase of same small boat. (And before we get sidetracked - yes, I am perfectly capable of changing an impeller, stitching a sail, tracking down the source of a leak, all the safety skills whose lack could get you in serious trouble in a deserted anchorage. Different issue. Needs vs wants.)

What ticks me off about this "conversation" is that the undertone keeps shifting from bigger-is-better for some people, to bigger-is-better for everyone, if they would only admit it to themselves.

Our marina hosted a raftup last year in a great little anchorage, with a 6-1/2 foot bar at the entrance. Two of our dock neighbors with 40-45 foot boats couldn't attend the party because they were nervous about their draft on the way in. Left lots more free beer for those of us who had smaller, shallower boats.
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Last edited by wingNwing; 08-10-2012 at 01:46 PM. Reason: added the second & third sentence for clarity
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