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  #21  
Old 07-07-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Our only home has been a 33-foot sailboat for the last 10 years (7 dockside & 3 cruising). Close quarters has definitely made our already solid marriage better. Perforce, communicatiion is better and we know what each other is thinking without need for words, now. 2 things help: (1) figure out what makes *you* feel like you're camping out and address that, as others have said on this thread. Plastic dishes? No freezer? For me, it was walking back from a public bathhouse with wet hair ... so being able to take hot showers aboard was non-negotiable. (2) The second thing that helps -- virtual privacy. You can't really get away from each other but you can have enough respect for mental space - no shoulder-surfing, reading each others rough drafts without permission, commenting on overheard cellphone conversations or (*bathroom noises*) etc etc.

We both learned to sail the same way, the same time, from the same sources, so we don't fight about approaches to technical problems. Although I'm the better navigator and he's the better sail-trimmer, we basically are equal partners in sailing and cruising. We also have a sailing rule that whoever has the more conservative approach rules. If one wants to reef and the other doesn't, we reef. If one wants to try a shortcut but the other is nervous about the shoal, we go the long way around. Deciding this a priori means we never get into fights underway, and one doesn't scare the other.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this life! No plans to move back to land - or even to a bigger boat - until our bodies give out. And then, only reluctantly.
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  #22  
Old 07-07-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by TropicCat View Post
And not one person even mentioned a 40' catamaran?
We have been considering a catamaran, it just seems to double the pricetag.
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  #23  
Old 07-10-2012
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Definitely

TropicCat

My wife and I went to the Annoplis boat show and fell in love with the Leopard 39 because we figured it would have the room for our two dogs as well as space for kids if and when we have them. However, we would have to put the dream off till much later because of the price. What's your opinion on getting what you need and can afford now and upgrading later?
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Re: Definitely

Quote:
Originally Posted by sloss321 View Post
TropicCat

My wife and I went to the Annoplis boat show and fell in love with the Leopard 39 because we figured it would have the room for our two dogs as well as space for kids if and when we have them. However, we would have to put the dream off till much later because of the price. What's your opinion on getting what you need and can afford now and upgrading later?
We do plan on working up to what we need to live aboard, starting with some sailing lessons at the lake near us, followed by a smaller boat on the lake. Baby steps, were not ready to go hole hog since we have a few more years till our nest is empty.
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  #25  
Old 07-11-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

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Originally Posted by sailguy40 View Post
@DavidB.UK you can get ANY woman to live aboard with you in that beauty! What is it a Jeanneau?


Agreed!
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  #26  
Old 08-02-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

We sleep on a single twin size bed (the smallest mattress size), though I'm 5'8" and she's 5'4".
We tried a queen once, but it was too big, and not cuddly enough so we threw it out.
On our single our cat oftentimes sleeps under or betwixt our feet.

Personally I'd rather stay away from those large boats that can't be singlehanded, else how would we take shifts?
Also the bigger the boat, the bigger the "Boom", which is bad enough if someone gets caught on a dinghy.
Also bigger boats have more draught so have fewer places to go, and have to be farther from shore.

We were planning on something in the 24-30ft range,
that we can buy in cash, as have intense aversion to debt.
That way as soon as we buy something, can save for next thing.

We do intend on having a landbase later on also,
so can dock and do various projects, like boat building,
permaculture provisioning, resource harvesting and storage.
Hopefully by then the canadian residential bubble will burst,
if so perhaps we could get a place big enough for a marina.

Last edited by elspru; 08-02-2012 at 06:16 AM.
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  #27  
Old 08-02-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by TropicCat View Post
And not one person even mentioned a 40' catamaran?
Personally speaking I would not consider a cat for anything other than a play thing.

I have done lots of sailing on little hobbie cats and the like, when they go over IF they end up upside down they are a pain to right single handed. It can be done but it's a pain.

For that reason I would rather have a monohull, just for the peace of mind that if ever I got caught in a storm big enough to tip her over, a monohull would right again automatically, if not far more easily than an upside down cat.

Granted I am not speaking from personal experience of either scenario when it comes to cruising yachts but certainly true for small sailing boats in my experience.
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  #28  
Old 08-02-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

We lived aboard a GulfStar 50 ketch for roughly 5 years. And we just bought a CT 56 to liveaboard.
Besides the required stripping down of excess baggage, I have found that keeping issues like the smell of diesel and or leaks from the deck from occurring are worth their weight in gold, in supporting marital bliss, besides the obvious physical advantages.
Your wife should "see" the value and enjoyment of cruising for her to truly sign onto this lifestyle for the long run.
So, as in any lifestyle / cohabitation, keep it interesting. Plan some trips conservatively, i.e., not too taxing, which will provide the "why we do this" reasons to her, so she can have something to offset the negatives.
For instance, we cruised the entire Eastern Seaboard a couple years ago, from Fort Lauderdale to Boothbay Harbor Maine; stopping EVERYWHERE. She still tells people this was one of her best experiences of her life.
And finally, avoid exposing her to cruising on bad weather days. If you're crossing the Gulf Stream from Florida to the Bahamas, WAIT until you won't be "rolling" the whole way.
The difference between a great experience and Hell on earth will frequently be directly related to the weather / winds / waves.
As far as boat size.... bigger IS better. :-)
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  #29  
Old 08-04-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

WingNWing have all the right answers! We've been married since '70 and living aboard since '72. It's working so far.
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  #30  
Old 08-04-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Umm, if you have secrets, you won't after sailing around together. Why? Because spending so much time together is great for your marriage and eventually everything comes out. I think a lot of people go through this kinda fear that their marriage will be ruined, but really cruising together will be amazing and any underlying cracks in your marital foundation will start to show because the bandaids are removed. The cover up you use to blend into a society where everyone judges you and you care what people think of you.

The problems that arise have nothing to do with the lack of space and everything to do with the lack of stress and abundance of time and space.

Seriously is sleeping in close quarters with your better half an issue? Then maybe you should be asking yourself why it is an issue and not us fool s on the web their opinion on boat size.
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