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  #1  
Old 07-04-2012
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Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

I'm looking to live aboard in a few years with my wife. We will be empty nesters and would love to hear from other couples that are in the process of moving to the lifestyle or have been living aboard. How has the stress of the change and limited space affected your relationship? What stories do you have you wouldn't mind sharing with us. My wife and I have a very strong relationship and we complement each other very well. Hopefully living in such close quarters all the time won't change that. One more thing, has anyone seen a sailboat not 70 feet or more that has a Queen/King size berth one thing that would make the transition easier for my wife, I tend to be a bed hog maybe because Iím 6í2 and not small.
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

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Originally Posted by Dayton49 View Post
I'm looking to live aboard in a few years with my wife. We will be empty nesters and would love to hear from other couples that are in the process of moving to the lifestyle or have been living aboard. How has the stress of the change and limited space affected your relationship? What stories do you have you wouldn't mind sharing with us. My wife and I have a very strong relationship and we complement each other very well. Hopefully living in such close quarters all the time won't change that. One more thing, has anyone seen a sailboat not 70 feet or more that has a Queen/King size berth one thing that would make the transition easier for my wife, I tend to be a bed hog maybe because I’m 6’2 and not small.
Will follow this thread with keen interest!

I am planning to be a liveaboard very soon, I am single now but do not intend to live out my days as such and I have wondered how couples get on in a liveaboard capacity. With regard to your bed question...

This is the aft cabin on my 'someday' boat:


Isn't she pretty!


If however your budget does not stretch to such luxury...
Mine doesn't either (but you have to have a dream)

I found a few boats that have the kind of layout you are referring to, to my knowledge the type of bed (like you describe) is known as a centreline double or centreline queen bed.

From my time browsing the classified I found that not every boat that has this configuration is advertised as such. So you may have to scour a number of ads.

I found that the Hunter Passage 42 looked to be a lot of boat for the money, but the online consensus seems to be that they are great boats but built to a budget and as such are not ideal extended blue water boats.
(Just in case I open a can of worms and upset HP42 owners... The above is only the feeling that I have got from reading forums etc. and an HP42 is still one of the boats on my list in-spite of the above!)

Here is the aft cabin from a (2000) hunter passage 42:


And a different (1995) HP42:


The smallest boat I found with this kind of layout was 34ft, but I can't remember what it was. There are a number of manufacturers make boats with this configuration from 36ft upwards, but it is more common as you go bigger.
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Last edited by DavidB.UK; 07-04-2012 at 06:24 PM.
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Old 07-04-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

We moved aboard 7 years ago, on the dock for 4 years and then cruising the past 3 years. One of the conditions was to have a home base, so we invested in a condo, rent it out, but that way have a home base.
The big shocks are lack of storage and the major downsizing you need to do. We did this in stages, getting rid of most items and then pushed what was left into storage. After first year downsized storage buy getting rid of more and giving some to kids. By third year we emptied storage.
The other key is to make the boat a home, as much unlike camping as you can. We dumped all the plastic stuff and moved our china (robust), silverware and glasses aboard. Added lots of pictures, and a digital frame helped a lot as well. Throw rugs and some pillows help.
Good comms home to friends and family tend to be more important to women as well, so cater for that.
As for boat, dont need 70', lots of boats in 40' range have a queen sized berth. Ours is a 41 with an aft cabin with a tapered berth slightly shorter than a queen and a bit wider.
Our relationship has become even stronger over the past years. Certainly not all roses and there are road bumps but if you work as a team and good communication and shared decision making it works great.
An old sailor once said "living aboard will make a strong couple stronger and end a weak marriage."
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Although at this time my wife and I are not yet full live aboards we have spent a few months on the boat at a time. At the end of this year I am retiring and we plan on moving aboard at that time. We just moved up from a 32' to a 38' which does have a queen size berth in the aft cabin. Obviously how well you get along with your wife will depend on how well you transition to the boat. The long times we spent on the boat was no problem for us at all thus lead us to the desire to live aboard. I can always find a place on the boat to be by myself if I feel the need to be alone for awhile. A good dinghy ride also helps.
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

@DavidB.UK you can get ANY woman to live aboard with you in that beauty! What is it a Jeanneau?
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

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Originally Posted by sailguy40 View Post
@DavidB.UK you can get ANY woman to live aboard with you in that beauty! What is it a Jeanneau?
Oyster 625

Isn't it gorgeous!


http://www.oystermarine.com/fleet/625/default.aspx

Last edited by DavidB.UK; 07-04-2012 at 06:54 PM.
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Old 07-04-2012
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

Oyster 625 about 3 M Euros

At a more affordable level the Hunter Passage 42 has the best aft cabin under 45 ft and 100k US of all the boats I looked at.
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

SWMBO and I and Finn largely live aboard Whiskeyjack from April to October. What we have learned:
1. The stuff that bothers each of you about each other in 2000 sq ft on land does not magically go away in less than 200 sq ft on water. Learn to communicate, consider and compromise.
2. If you take it out, put it away. Now.
3. Each new item onboard means an old item has to leave.
4. It's okay to not talk.
5. One cooks, one does dishes. Helping doesn't help.
6. When the dawg needs shore patrol, the dawg. needs. shore. patrol. now.
7. Find your own quiet spot, whether it is the v-berth, quarter berth, foredeck or cockpit.
8. You don't have to get there today. You don't even have to get there tomorrow.
9. When docking, mooring, anchoring, tacking or damn near anything goes awry, talk it out, then hug it out.
10. There is a difference between being heard, and yelling.
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

I like the idea of finding your own space, thats something that we have needed to do on land too. I have my garage gym and she has her office space to make her own. I'm thinking we work out a separate space for each to have as our own. Thanks for all the responses so far keep em coming please. Glad to hear a mid 40 could be a good fit, I'm hoping that we will be able to see several next week when we are at Flagler for vacation. I see a Benneteau dealer just outside of Jacksonville. hopefully I'll find a couple of marina's with dealerships so we can see inside a bunch.
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Re: Couples living aboard how goes the relationship

That Oyster video is incredible...man, I wish I had a spare few million Euro. Hey, if the crisis keeps going, maybe that'll come down to $1M USD
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