Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends - SailNet Community
Cruising and Sailing with Children All things sailing and kids related, from safety to life aboard.

 8Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 13 Old 09-16-2013 Thread Starter
Junior Member
 
awaywego's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Beaufort, SC
Posts: 23
Thanks: 2
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
 
Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

For those of you who have taken the leap into full time/live aboard cruising with kids, how did you tell family and friends of your plans? Were the responses generally positive or negative? How did you respond or handle the negative responses?

We have not yet told any family or friends of our cruising plans, as we are in the very early stages. However, Iím anxious of the responses we will encounter when we do decide to tell them and just curious as to responses you received.

releasingthebowlines.com
awaywego is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 13 Old 09-16-2013
Frozen Member
 
AlaskaMC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 564
Thanks: 25
Thanked 20 Times in 19 Posts
Rep Power: 6
 
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

We are just barely ahead of you in the process and we are beginning to tell family. Seems the reactions are either LOVE IT, or HATE IT. The love its, tend to be very much in favor and really see the connection between what we are doing and giving our children a different experience than the typical.

On the other hand, the HATE ITs, seem to be speaking more to themselves than to us. They cannot understand the concept of getting out of line and living life by their own rules and they take it out on those that do. I am not trying to be mean here, instead just recognizing that sometimes when people argue against a course of action, they are actually arguing with themselves about their own choices and you are just a sounding board. They are not questioning your choices as much as their own.

For example, they will make the argument that it is unsafe to go sailing with children, but they don't see it as unsafe to put them into a car at rush hour traffic twice a day. Safe choices are not really about the stats, instead they are about sticking with the crowd as no one will fault you for being one of the millions.

You see this everyday on sailnet (and all other forums) when threads have more to do with defending ones own choice of a boat (for example), vs the question actually asked. We are all guilty of this from time to time. Good luck!
bljones and MarkofSeaLife like this.
AlaskaMC is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #3 of 13 Old 09-18-2013
Best Looking MALE Mod
 
Cruisingdad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Washington State
Posts: 9,917
Thanks: 3
Thanked 124 Times in 57 Posts
Rep Power: 10
     
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

I have been sailing with my kids since they were 5 days old and on our own before that. Yet, some of my family really did have a knee jerk.

One of them was my sister, the other was a "father in law". My sister is simply scared of boats and water. SO the idea of being on something that could sink is beyond her psyche. But she and I have a good relationship and she came to deal with it. My father in law (I use that term loosely... not my wife's father, long story), came unglued about it. What he said was really irrelevant, but we just ignored it. Glad we did.

However, my parents were supportive. In fact, they came to spend a summer with us many years ago, anchored off a great island, margaritas, sunsets, dolphins (and the head tank leaking... impeccable timing!), and you know what they did? THey sold their house and they now own a boat and live on it in the Puget sound and are cruising even as I speak. My wife's father stays with us every time he can.

You will get a lot of people who understand, and many that don't. If you love them, get them out on the boat with you and anchor somewhere beautiful. Make it a nice vacation. They might end up doing what my parents did. If you don't like them, loosen the cap on the holding tank when they come. SHort visit and all that.

Do be aware that you will have to educate your family and friends when you leave. One Christmas, my sister bought them remote control cars and a race car track!??? THey have no concept that these things do not work on a boat. SO explain to them on Christmas and birthdays that if it is not a boat approved gift, it goes back or donated. I have been having those conversations for years, and every once in a while my sister still send a boat-unfriendly gift... though I suspect there is a bit of hidden agenda there!!!

Brian
jimgo likes this.

Sailnet Moderator



1987 Tayana Vancouver 42, Credendo Vides, (Mom and Pops boat, F/T Mobile Live Aboards in Puget Sound)

My Website:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Follow My Blog at:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


Follow me on Facebook:

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Cruisingdad is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #4 of 13 Old 09-19-2013
Senior Member
 
denverd0n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,023
Thanks: 0
Thanked 24 Times in 24 Posts
Rep Power: 8
 
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

Quote:
Originally Posted by awaywego View Post
We have not yet told any family or friends of our cruising plans... Iím anxious of the responses we will encounter...
Packing up and sailing away is not an easy thing. The life is not all idyllic anchorages, golden sunsets, and rum punches. It takes a certain amount of determination, patience, fortitude, an ability to see the big picture, the attitude that you are not going to let little things overwhelm you, and at times just downright courage to keep on going when life is throwing you curves.

I mean this in the most constructive way possible, but frankly, if you can't buck up the courage to tell your family and friends of your plans, I have to doubt whether or not you are dedicated enough to those plans to see them through. Perhaps as you get closer to "the time," and more invested in the idea of the cruising lifestyle, you will realize how silly you were to worry about what your family and friends might say.

You're going to run into negative attitudes from a lot of people along the way. You might even fall into feeling some negative attitudes yourself--a lot of cruisers seem to at some point along the way. You need to have the courage of your convictions, and the firm belief in your dreams, to be able to ignore those negative attitudes and forge ahead.

Good luck to you.
jimgo likes this.
denverd0n is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #5 of 13 Old 09-21-2013
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,006
Thanks: 5
Thanked 18 Times in 18 Posts
Rep Power: 12
     
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

Have a conference call and explain it to them when you reach Fiji.
chall03, FSMike and AlaskaMC like this.

What are you pretending not to know ?

Please support my
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
wind_magic is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #6 of 13 Old 03-30-2014
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: On board
Posts: 53
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Send a message via Skype™ to B.J. Porter
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

We told family memebers at different times depending on how we gauged their reactions. Those we expected to be supportive we told earlier and swore to silence. Those we expected to not get it and give us grief got less time to adjust and less time to harangue us.

Earlier is better IF family can shut up, harder to deal with are work people and friends. Telling some too early can cost money if were to say, lose your job or a promotion.
B.J. Porter is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #7 of 13 Old 03-31-2014
Senior Member
 
MarkofSeaLife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,989
Thanks: 43
Thanked 123 Times in 104 Posts
Rep Power: 5
 
Dock
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

We lied to everyone until 2 weeks before flying overseas to buy a boat.

As other posts said, many people give you grief. I knew they would and didnt want to listen to the crap so we didnt tell anyone till we were set to go

I couldnt have dealt with negativity for a full year before we left...
FSMike likes this.

Sea Life
Notes on a Circumnavigation:
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
MarkofSeaLife is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #8 of 13 Old 03-31-2014
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: On board
Posts: 53
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
Rep Power: 3
 
Send a message via Skype™ to B.J. Porter
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

A tempting approach Mark, but we were making off with grandchildren and that didn't feel fair...
B.J. Porter is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #9 of 13 Old 03-31-2014
Bristol 45.5 - AiniA
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 3,936
Thanks: 5
Thanked 99 Times in 87 Posts
Rep Power: 10
 
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

I don't think that it is so much as a love/hate thing although there is a dichotomy of reactions. Some people are envious and others just don't get why you would want to do it.

Met a Welsh couple who had an interesting tale. They started out with the intention of going for a week long cruise to France. The weather there was crappy (it was October) so they decided to go on to Portugal for some sun. No luck there so they carried on to the Canaries where it was warm and sunny. The called their adult kids to tell them where they were and had them fly down for a visit. The marinas in the Canaries were too expensive so they thought they would go to the Caribbean - and as I said, we met them in South Africa so there 'long term planning approach' to cruising seemed to work well.

Back home on Lake Ontario after something over 36,000 nm circumnavigator. Not surprisingly there is a lot of stuff I want to get done on Ainia both cosmetically and functionally. Getting an early start so it will be ready to go for next summer (Lake Superior?).
killarney_sailor is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
post #10 of 13 Old 05-05-2014
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 46
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
 
Re: Sharing Cruising Plans With Family and Friends

awaywego,

we're in the same boat as you, This will be our second attempt at this. Once about 12 years ago we had the boat and were almost ready to go when we decided to scrap the plan and become "normal people" have kids, etc.! That worked for 12 years and now I've hit the 40+ mark and feeling the need (badly). This time around I'm getting less support from the same family members that were supportive the first time! but I (wife and I ) have decided that life's to short to worry about what everyone else thinks. They all think I'm throwing my career away and that if we sell the house, we'll never be able to afford one again when we get back! Little do they knbow that we plan to sell the house, split proceeds into a coming back fund and use the rest to cruise on for a year or two. The cost for the boat is coming out of current savings! so we should be OK for a while!

The bigger challenge for us is getting the boat and getting the kids on it! one of the 2 has some sailing but the other was born after we sold our last boat!
pcmm is offline  
Quote Quick Reply Share with Facebook
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

By choosing to post the reply above you agree to the rules you agreed to when joining Sailnet.
Click Here to view those rules.

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the SailNet Community forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
Please note: After entering 3 characters a list of Usernames already in use will appear and the list will disappear once a valid Username is entered.


User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Family and friends mourn an Alameda sailing stalwart NewsReader News Feeds 0 06-06-2013 07:20 AM
Searching for friends interested in sharing sailing edwink911 General Discussion (sailing related) 2 05-16-2012 08:29 PM
Pilot's family, friends puzzled by plane crash - Boston Globe NewsReader News Feeds 0 09-02-2011 10:40 AM
Sharing your faith while cruising Missionary Cruising & Liveaboard Forum 184 07-13-2007 12:42 AM
Day Sailing SF Bay/Charter Sharing with Family with Toddler(s) fbrody Chartering 0 04-18-2006 02:06 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome