Kids or cruising first? - Page 2

FromINtoKN · #11 10-28-2011

being the father of a young daugther, i suggest go now. Enjoy the company of your wife and the world. You are only young once. This trip will give you the expierece that when the kids get old enough to be trusted more so around the water, you will be set to go again.

CaptainForce · #12 10-28-2011

We cruised before we had our children, but they were cruising with us from babies until they left as adults. We never saw that there was an exclusive choice children and cruising.

Minnewaska · #13 10-29-2011

There is a significant missing variable. Money.

There are ways to limit expenses, if you are totally handy with repairs, but cruising to Europe for a couple of years will be costly. Adding children and their care and medical expenses will increase that notably. Do you have the financial ammo to choose from any of your scenarios?

If you plan to have kids and wait until your early thirties for your first, it will also be a higher risk pregnancy or potentially harder to conceive.

My conclusion on all matters of when to have kids, when to marry, whether to travel as a kid before starting a career is ........ go exclusively with your gut. You can't be wrong, there is no clear right and wrong. Life will toss curves balls at any plan you try to set in stone anyway.

ChristinaM · #14 10-31-2011

I think the general sentiment here echos my feelings: just go and we'll find a way to go again with kids. I'm pretty sure I'll end up pulling any kids out of public education for a least a year anyway. I learned a lot more just spending time with my parents as a kid than I did in school, at least during elementary. Swift Drift, my parents were always planning to have kids (they wanted 6, ended up with 3) but still took time to establish a life and hobbies before we were born. I'm only realizing the wisdom of that now.

Worst case, we'll just end up doing shorter sailing vacations with kids on a bigger, slower boat than we need for that kind of sailing.

Minnewaska, since we're a few years into less than satisfying but sufficiently well paid careers, we know we can pull off either 3 years now or 2-3 years later with kids. I'll involve liquidating just about everything we own (except the Hobie Tiger, I'm told we own that for life

). It's the finances that make it potentially an either-or decision. I think we'd have a hard time topping up the cruising kitty sufficiently while raising 2 kids until they're roughly school age. I'd trust my gut but it's pretty irresponsible. It wants to totally ignore the difference between having kids at 29 vs 35 and just doesn't care about money at all.

Smackdaddy, re: fertility & boating, it's my understanding that hormone-based contraceptives aren't effective if you feel them to the fishes, hence the ease of accidentally adding to a cruising crew. I've never been seasick but I'd rather not experience it for the first time along with morning sickness. And beer-less cruising just isn't right.

If we go now, maybe my in-laws won't flip out so badly when we go with kids.

svHyLyte · #15 10-31-2011

FWIW, we never enjoyed our travels aboard the yacht so much as we did with our daughter aboard, even when she was a tiny little girl. While not alway easy, there is something about sharing the joyful wonder of ones' child's discoveries that cannot be equaled and makes all of the effort worth it and more.

arknoah · #16 10-31-2011

Here's another blog resource or a family that has cruised for 9 years, most with their three boys:

Simply Sailing Online

I really enjoy reading Connie's thoughts and reflections. You may find them useful as well. As Donna said, it's all about what works for you.

Good luck!

Cruisingdad · #17 11-04-2011

Boy, this could be a long topic.

I think in some respects you will enjoy it more without kids, and in some respects you will enjoy it more with kids.

The without is nice because it is more carefree. It can be a smaller boat. You really get to explore with each other. I am a big advocare of not having kids until you are REALLY ready and have done many things with your life that you enjoy doing as a couple. You can simply be more carefree without kids.

On the flip, as I am sure many here know, we have always had the kiddos with us and I am not sure it will ever be the same without them. I have found that the only thing more fun than snorkeling over a reef is snorkeiling over a reef with my kids for the first time! THe first time they are watching a great barracuda swimming right beside them, or watch an Eagle Ray glide underneath, or dive down holding their breath while the grunts and yellow fins swarm aroun you by the thousands. I have seen so many cool things and the boat felt like more of a home with the kids. THe flip side is that when the kids are young, we had to stay within a reasonable distance of a doctor. THe first storm (or hurricane) you weather aboard with your kids there will put a while new level to the word stress. A nice, quiet evening in the cockpit is a rarity as they want to go fishing. Escaping the kids is almost impossible as you are stuck on a 40 foot boat together.

I believer that taking off and doing long distance cruising with kids on board is a risky factor most are either unwilling to take or try (and find it is too difficult or dangerous for their comfort level). I would suggest honing your skills as a sailor and learning your boat before any long distance stuff. If you ever want to chat about any of this, drop me a pm and I will be happy to discuss over the phone.

Brian

chall03 · #18 11-19-2011

We are currently cruising with our 9 month old onboard and having a ball. We love having her along, she is an enhancement to the experience, and certainly for us was not a reason to not go. I think she will obviously get more out of the experience when she is older and so our intention is to go again in a few years.

However to be honest there are times that we certainly wish we had done more cruising before we had her. The carefree romantic swims with just the two of us are few and far between, sundowners with other cruisers come to an abrupt end when madam is hungry and tired. Everything takes longer and requires more planning and organization. An afternoon ashore, bushwalking and swimming requires the planning of a small military operation. However having kids changes your life not matter what you are doing, and the benefits of cruising with her for us far outweigh the inconvenience.

I do agree with CD, the first time I was in a storm with my daughter was a very sobering experience. Thankfully we had pondered issues of safety long and hard before we left and knowing she would be on the boat completely changed my approach to safety. While I have never been I believe an irresponsible sailor, I have perhaps in the past as an ex-racer been happy to push boats and take gambles with my own safety.

I would say to you go now, and go again later. Life changes quickly, If you go now and love it, you would be surprised how you will find a way to make it work financially again later with kids. The benefit of going now is that it will build your confidence and experience, this will make the cruising with kids much easier and less stress.

MarshB · #19 04-30-2012

Follow what you want, Kids, when they grew up can be brought to cruising with you..

Cruisingdad · #20 05-03-2012

Quote:

Originally Posted by chall03

We are currently cruising with our 9 month old onboard and having a ball. We love having her along, she is an enhancement to the experience, and certainly for us was not a reason to not go. I think she will obviously get more out of the experience when she is older and so our intention is to go again in a few years.

However to be honest there are times that we certainly wish we had done more cruising before we had her. The carefree romantic swims with just the two of us are few and far between, sundowners with other cruisers come to an abrupt end when madam is hungry and tired. Everything takes longer and requires more planning and organization. An afternoon ashore, bushwalking and swimming requires the planning of a small military operation. However having kids changes your life not matter what you are doing, and the benefits of cruising with her for us far outweigh the inconvenience.

I do agree with CD, the first time I was in a storm with my daughter was a very sobering experience. Thankfully we had pondered issues of safety long and hard before we left and knowing she would be on the boat completely changed my approach to safety. While I have never been I believe an irresponsible sailor, I have perhaps in the past as an ex-racer been happy to push boats and take gambles with my own safety.

I would say to you go now, and go again later. Life changes quickly, If you go now and love it, you would be surprised how you will find a way to make it work financially again later with kids. The benefit of going now is that it will build your confidence and experience, this will make the cruising with kids much easier and less stress.

Great post as always, and good looking girl. Saw your writeup in the other thread. Great to see you are having a ball!!!

Brian