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If you have a nice level finish coat in place, rubbing out a finish to reduce gloss can be done with a felt pad, pumice, and either water (for flatter finish) or linseed oil (for more gloss). Rub it until you are happy, then wipe it down to remove the residual pumice.
This is one of those things that is best tried on a sample piece before committing to the real thing.
Don't do this to exterior varnish.