Here be the story on
exhaust soot:
The 'wax' you put on your boat is a hydrocarbon compound, in most cases. The soot is also a hydrocarbon, and has an affinity for sticking to other hydrocarbons, so it binds itself to the wax.
Getting it off means using something that will take off not only the black gook on your hull, but the wax, as well, and that leaves the hull unprotected, so you have to apply more wax.
I watched the pros down in Miami fighting this battle on the big battlewagon sport fishers, and one of my buddies found that using a 'natural' carnuba wax helped a bit. The boats still had black
exhaust stains, but they washed off using Orpine Boat Soap with wax.
I've tried a dozen different waxes to cure the problem, with no luck. I've also tried some of the whiz-bang polymer polishes that supposedly would stay clean no matter what got on them. So far, I haven't found anything that really works. As for being afraid of polishing your hull because you're wearing the gelcoat out, you're better off polishing with a light polish than scrubbing it down with something strong. Use something like 3M Finesse-it polish, and then follow up with a coat of good wax. My two favorites are Collinite and 3M Marine wax. They're both expensive, but they work in the marine environment. I've tried the other 'name brands', and found that McGuire's, Mothers, Turtle Wax and a couple of others just don't last worth beans.