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Powerboaters Are Funny

17K views 116 replies 42 participants last post by  mad_machine 
#1 ·
We spent the day checking out Chicago marinas. We did a lot of walking and saw a lot of boats and a lot of activity.

As we were walking the seawall, we saw a man alone in a 40' Tartan pull into his slip and tie her down without assistance. The boat never even touched the dock or pilings.

A little later we heard a loud bang followed by a louder expletive. We turned and saw a 32' power boat with several shirtless men armed with beer cans scrambling around the deck. The stern had just been gouged by their neighbor's anchor and they were running to the bow to keep the other end from crashing into a different boat. But they didn't spill a drop of beer.

We saw a perfectly preserved 30 something foot wooden sailboat that glistened in the sun. Just down the dock was a 25' powerboat.

The name?

"Size Matters."
 
#2 ·
I don't know about them being 'funny' but some power-boaters sure are stupid.

One bright sunny day I was at the top of the mast in the bosun's chair when along comes this power boat kicking up a great wash. I yelled out over the noise of his engine to slow down and gave the universal palms-downward "slow down" signal. The moron thought I was waving to him...although he never slowed down at least he had the manners??? to wave back.

At the marina I always try to moor next to and opposite nice well-kept sailing boats. Less fear of coming aboard to find gouges in my paintwork if I know my neighbours are sailors rather than mere drivers.
 
#8 ·
At the marina I always try to moor next to and opposite nice well-kept sailing boats. Less fear of coming aboard to find gouges in my paintwork if I know my neighbours are sailors rather than mere drivers.
Good point!

The last marina we checked out yesterday is still pretty new and only about 25% full. The harbormaster said we could pick any slip we wanted as long as it fit our boat. We walked two docks. One had more powerboats than sailboats. The other had a bit more sailboats than powerboats. I stood there looking at an empty slip with two nicely kept sailboats on either side I felt our boat would be "at home" here. I thought our attraction to being next to other sailboats was mostly about being with like-minded people.

Then I read your comment and realized "at home" really meant "safe".
 
#5 ·
Power boaters dont have the monopoly on stupidity or poor seamanship.
But they certainly dominate the marketplace.

I was in the boatyard yesterday when they got a rush 1/2 lift request. A 40-ish foot cruiser came along to the lift bay trailing lines in the water on both sides. It looked like the docklines had been untied by people on the dock and just dropped in the water as the boat "drove" away.

The boat was hauled & washed etc - I didn't pay any attention.

It was dropped back in and as they were backing out I saw lines trailing in the water again. The hoist operator yelled at them to gather them in but just got blank looks in return. I finally told him to ignore it - more future business. :D

The reason for the lift? THREE lines from pot lines to 5/8" braid wrapped around the prop.

You sure CAN'T fix stupid. :rolleyes:
 
#6 ·
it isn't that powerboaters are more stupid than sailors.. it is that -anybody- can operate a powerboat. Have you watched the drivers in the cars around you? Most of them have trouble staying in a well marked lane that is surrounded by kerbs.. put that same lack of ability into a boat with "wide open" waters.. and chaos ensues.

A few of my co-workers are powerboaters.. If I use any nautical terms around them, I get blank looks
 
#18 · (Edited)
A few of my co-workers are powerboaters.. If I use any nautical terms around them, I get blank looks
I can one-up you on this...

Back over Memorial Day weekend, the wife & I visited with her sister in Tennessee. We rented a pontoon boat for a day on one of the reservoirs, mostly for the enjoyment of the S-I-L's two kids.

The guy who was giving me a safety/vessel orientation hit all the obvious stuff, and then I asked about ground tackle. Got a blank stare... So I rephrased it to "anchor and rode"; he said "yeah there's an anchor but what's rode?" I said "the stuff that attaches the anchor to the boat." He finally caught up with me.

The kicker? This guy was the local TowBoatUS guy ;)
 
#7 · (Edited)
It just seems that the powerboaters have the market cornered on stupidity because there are so many of them. They out number sailors by what, eight to one?

That said there is much entertainment to be had by the write a check turn a key crowd.

OTOH, I know many powerboaters who as good as it gets with everything from boat handling to seamanship. But taking shots at the stereotype is fun!!!

For real entertainment hang out at a boat ramp!!!
 
#9 ·
I am both a sailor and a powerboater. I have to agree with "mad machine" here. It's so easy for someone to have limited knowledge and still operate a powerboat while sailing almost forces a little more education.

That being said, after all these years I am really getting prejudice with jet skis. When I see one now, I immediately think "moron is about to do something stupid" and I prepare for evasive action. It's probably wrong to think that negatively but I admit I do. And kids... I am so sick of seeing kids on these things. By far the most dangerous on my ranking list.

Next worse for me are parents/adults letting far too young kids drive jet skis. I saw an older lady with a little kid sitting in front of her. I was turning to port to go into a channel. Seeing them coming I hugged the nav marker leaving about 200 yards of open water for them to pass me on my starboard side to continue up the lake. As they came closer it was apparent they were about to do something stupid. I slowed to an almost stop. Thank goodness I did as they passed me on my port side in the 5 feet between me and the marker and then cut hard in front across my bow to continue going straight, not into the channel. Um, I think it would be wise to TAKE THE CONTROL FROM YOUR CHILD at that point. They continued oblivious.
 
#17 ·
You have the real situation covered - one has to know a bit in order to make a sailboat go.

The jet ski people are the real, unfixable morons. They are the reason we are required to have operators permits (drivers licenses) here - there were so many 12 year olds on 200 HP jet skis causing havoc and deaths.

They are the living proof that 1/2 of all the people you meet have a lower than average IQ. The ban on jet skis in the San Juans should spread around the world.
 
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#10 · (Edited)
For years sailing in a crowded bay one has to learn to live with powerboaters who either don't know the rules or don't care about them. As well, there seemed to be a common lack of courtesy coming from powerboaters coming from this one marina in particular. There was no give in these people who's boats threw three and four foot wakes. You know the type. They appoach at max speed, pass within 50 fifty feet and then everyone on the boat turns to see what the wake does to the little sailboat.

So after a summer of this arrogant treatment i decided to go over to the powerboat marina to check it out. You ever have one of those moments when a devilish thought comes into your head and you decide to go for It? You know it's wrong but? Well i happen to drive over in my Grand Cherokee right at dinner time on Saturday night. All the barbeques were fired up. People out holding their beers. Some already sitting down and eatting. The marina has a five mile an hour speed limit and the roadway thru is dirt. Which after a week or so without rain was now coated with a fine layer of dust. Even at five mph I was kicking some dust. I thought damn this is perfect!!!! i made sure i knew where the exit was and then gunned it. I did a lap through the place at 35mph that put so much dust in the air I couldn't see ten feet behind the car! I could hear people screaming at me and some had actually started running towards the car to stop me. But i had the speed and the angle. After a mile long lap I was out the gate and gone! The place looked like the dust bowl on the bay! Oh sweet satisfaction!!!

Yeah, I know, wrong and stupid! But I sure felt better!!!
 
#19 · (Edited)
Fun powerboat radio calls:

Mayday Mayday my husband fell overboard and I can't get him back on the boat. He is holding on to a line but can't climb back in. HELP
USCG spends some time trying to locate this very upset women. Several other boats jump in with questions like where do you live, where did you launch the boat, what can you see, etc. Eventually someone figures out where she is and tells her they are on the way.
OK someone is coming to help. Do you think I should slow down? :eek::laugher:laugher
SHE HAD BEEN UNDERWAY DRAGGING HER POOR HUSBAND THE ENTIRE TIME ALL THIS WAS GOING ON!

*in the end he got retreived and all was well...........

Second one:
MAYDAY MAYDAY I hit the Bay Bridge! I have damage to my boat
USCG: <asks all the 20 questions and then just has to ask> Did you not see the bridge?
Powerboat: I was arguing with my girlfriend
 
#20 · (Edited)
Last week Vic Edelbrock's yacht Victorious totally cut us off, just off of Sidney, B.C. His dinghy almost went over our bow.
I filed a complaint with CCG, USCG and Transport Canada. Transport Canada and the CCG gave him a visit on board Victorious in Victoria Harbour on Thursday. We have a video of the incident but the site won't let me load it. Here is a picture of him approaching our bow, we went to video right after taking this shot.
 

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#22 ·
I have been around boats my entire long life. I believe that the problem is that you can teach people everything with the exception of common sense. Whether the owner/operator is in a powerboat, sailboat, or JetSki does not matter. Stupid is stupid!
There just happen to be a lot more powerboater and now JetSki's.

The axiom used to be that sail boat owners were cheap, and SeaRay owners were assholes. Now we have SeaDoo owners are morons. Guess I need to change my boat title to moronic cheap ******* that thankfully has some common sense!
When the shiny new sailboat pulls out of their slip without looking to see if the fairway is clear (and you are behind them) you will have to expand on your theory. The only time I have ever had to use my horn to get someones attention was that shiny new sailboat. He missed me, but flipped ME off...guess he didn't like the horn telling his friends that he was an idiot. Oh, he was also the dockmaster.
 
#25 · (Edited)
We nearly got T-Boned by a 50 foot fast trawler yesterday. Cruising nicely in a parallel course about 300 feet away. Then it does a hard 90 degree turn right towards our midships and coming fast. He then slightly turns towards our stern but not very much. We had to fall off our nice upward tack to get more speed to get away. I had my hand on the starter button. It really scared the crap out of myself and my wife. It was a beautiful day out in the Sound, what was their damn hurry anyway. Sometimes I wonder if they think it's fun or something.

We now have the last page reserved in our log book to capture the boat names/desc of these idiots. I hope to see them in a marina someday. Maybe we should have reserved two pages in our log book.

The boat was "Serious Freedom" dark blue hull with a white flying bridge, 50 foot trawler.
Oh, and the captain had a mole on his forehead with two or three white hairs sticking out of it.
 
#26 ·
We nearly got T-Boned by a 50 foot fast trawler yesterday. Cruising nicely in a parallel course about 300 feet away. Then it does a hard 90 degree turn right towards our midships and coming fast. He then slightly turns towards our stern but not very much. We had to fall off our nice upward tack to get more speed to get away. I had my hand on the starter button. It really scared the crap out of myself and my wife. It was a beautiful day out in the Sound, what was their damn hurry anyway. Sometimes I wonder if they think it's fun or something.

We now have the last page reserved in our log book to capture the boat names/desc of these idiots. I hope to see them in a marina someday. Maybe we should have reserved two pages in our log book.

The boat was "Serious Freedom" dark blue hull with a white flying bridge, 50 foot trawler.
Oh, and the captain had a mole on his forehead with two or three white hairs sticking out of it.
Did you try hailing them to discover their intentions? Were you listening on 16 in case they tried to hail you? Not defending them but a chat can usually clear things up quickly.

I have had many conversations with large lux yachts to ascertain their intentions. I have also been contacted by some to let me know what they are doing.
 
#33 ·
A couple weeks ago was was in a 20' sailboat with four passengers two of them wheel chair bound. The boat is specially made with adult car seats to take handicap people. I had another 20+ boat in a hip tow with another load of handicap people due to a problem with their engine. I was controlling both boats with my massive 6 HP outboard.

I'm coming down the fairway when a 40' power boat with a tower backs out without looking.

I refused to go much slower I barely had steerage anyway.
I 5 blasted the guy and made it very clear with gestures it was his job to back away.

He did.

I had maybe 30 seconds to do something if he refused.

If I had stopped my ability to get going again in the direction I wanted was unlikely.
 
#36 ·
I will take a shot at it, (a little gun lingo for our Canadian and Australian folks). I have had both power and sail boats. It may be, that in general, power boats are less effected by big steep wakes, and their owners are not aware of the effects they have on sailboats?

How is that for being touchy feely? Can't we just all get along? :D

Paul T
 
#37 · (Edited)
The first think I found out when I got a 16 foot power boat was that larger power boats were quite dangerous to me. They had NOT ONE CLUE as to the right-of-way rules between powerboats and hitting a large wake at 30-40 knots in a light boat can do some real damage. Another thing I found out was some sailors would give me the finger when I waved to them even though I am skimming along leaving about as much wake as a canoe and my underwater exhaust engine was as silent as could be :(
 
#41 ·
You were in a power boat - you deserved it. ;)

The best line I ever heard about the sail VS power thing was that "Sailors tend to view powerboaters the way aristocratic Romans viewed the Goths"

Pretty well describes it I think. :D
 
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#39 ·
I had an interesting flip side story. I was in Ft. Lauderdale this past winter, and lazing about on a boat at a bulkhead when a large (50+ ft) Sundancer came up behind us, and made it clear that they were going to try and fit in the bulkhead space immediately behind us. Their boat was going to just barely fit in the available space. I settled in to watch the show (I wasn't in any position to help; I was on the top deck of a tour boat, waiting to leave). The Sundancer (a go-fast, luxury cruiser) was piloted by a fairly fat guy with a deep tan and no shirt. His buddies were similarly attired/built (or not). I was expecting a debacle as no one on the boat made a move to put out fenders or even handle the docklines. However, the skipper neatly turned his boat on a dime and sidewalked her in to the bulkhead, neat as you please. His friends broke out the fenders when they were about three feet from the concrete (although at least one of them did step off of the boat by wriggling under the bow rail). All in all, an impressive display of seamanship and boat handling. And the requisite deck fluff (there are always girls in bikinis on boats like that, regardless of the phyisical attractiveness of the owner) didn't have to move.
 
#43 ·
I always assume they can't. I find it's actually best to assume they are all below, drunk.
 
#44 ·
Power boaters are not the only drunks. For years I watched the LO300 (Lake Ontario 300 mile race) leave our yacht club for a non-stop 2-3 day race, usually around 180 boats ....... with at least 180 dock carts full of liquor and beer !
 
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