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  #1  
Old 09-20-2013
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Musings of a Live Aboard

Here is what all you guys and girls have to look forward to. I invite any others to throw in a couple of their's too!!

  • You want how much for a hose clamp?
  • What tha!?? Didn't I just fix that?!???
  • Wife: "Why are you buying another screw driver? You lost the other already?"
    Me: "Nope, I know exactly where it is. I just can't swim that deep."
  • Me: Happy Birthday honey.
    Wife: An electric head!?? I am sooo excited! Thank you!
  • Taking more than a three minute shower feels so wasteful.
  • Rainy days suck. Leaks suck worse.
  • Feel this honey, feel it... it's a real crystal wine glass.
  • Son: Dad, they have a machine that washes your dishes for you?
    Me: Nope. Like a clothes washer, it is a figment of your imagination.
  • 5200 does wonders for flip flops.
  • Can someone explain to me how it is possible to lose something in 40 feet... and never find it again??
  • You think $3.50/gallon is high for gasoline? Brother, you don't own a boat, do you?
  • Having coffee in the morning is not dependent on whether you have enough coffee grounds, but whether you have enough power.
  • My best shirt has only one bleach spot.
  • No you can't have cereal this morning because I'm not pulling everything out of the dry storage to get to it.
  • If you invite neighbors over for a drink and give them a cube of ice, they know you like them.
  • When dock neighbors come over for dinner, they bring their own plates and silverware.
  • Landlubbers think Osprey's are one of God's greatest creations. Live aboards think they are the demons from hell.

Brian
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  #2  
Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

Damn. I love Ospreys and cereal.
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

This Morning:
Vendor at foam mattress shop: "This is very cheap!"
Me: "You might think so!"

Any morning:
Vendor at any shop: "This is very cheap!"
Me: "You might think so!"

Any morning at the Bank:
"The Dollar went down overnight".

Any morning at a Chandlery:
Manager: "Excuse me sir, we don't serve paupers here!"


But in the afternoons???? Same sh!t, differnt time of day



Mark
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

Them: What are you doing on the sailboat?
Me: I live on it.
Them: YOU live on THAT boat?
Me: Yes.
Them: Questioning stare- just have not seen many folks around your age here.
Me: Yea, tell me about it. Mind tossing that bow line? Engines warmed and the currents ebbing out fast.
Them: Your going out alone?
Me: Yea.
Them: Questioning stare.
Me: Impatient questioning back stare. "Nevermind, i'll do it myself."
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Old 09-20-2013
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Them: you live on your boat

Me: yep

Them: bastard
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

"OK, who used more than three squares of TP before flushing?"

"Hang on, we'll be off this port tack in about 15 minutes, then the door to the head SHOULD open."

The phrase "OK kids, you've spent enough time inside today. Go out in the yard and play" takes on a whole new meaning, and brings with it an entirely different set of dangers.
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  #7  
Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by emcentar View Post
Damn. I love Ospreys and cereal.
Osprey, ducks, and other birds are the debil.

Cereal on the other hand has too high a volume/calorie and too low a calorie/$ ratio.
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

"Nope, I know exactly where it is. I just can't swim that deep."

A friend of mine used to hang out at an airport, and asked one of the mechanics at the marine aviation side of things why he had lanyards and stuff on some of his tools. He said he'd worked on flying boats in the Pacific, and if you dropped a wrench overboard, you could SEE it perfectly well, laughing at you, a hundred and fifty feet down at the bottom.

Of course these days you just need to cover your gloves and tools in Velcro, who needs lanyards, right? :-)
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

Me: Why do you keep buying all those beauty creams and skin cleansers?

Her: Well, you've pissed away thousands on boat and I NEVER say anything about that.

Me: No, how about just now?

Her: Well that's the only time!

Me: Yeah, right!

Her: Well if you love that damned boat so much, why don't you just move out and live on it?

Me: Starting to sound like The Honeymooners around here.

Now, after 51 years of nuptial bliss, living aboard full time, and alone, is starting to look very appealing.

Cheers,

Gary
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Old 09-20-2013
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Re: Musings of a Live Aboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cruisingdad View Post
[*]If you invite neighbors over for a drink and give them a cube of ice, they know you like them.
That is priceless
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