A mistress? - Page 3 - SailNet Community
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post #21 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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I, on the other hand went the opposite route. I fired my wife and kept the boat.
Isn't that the most expensive option?
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post #22 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

I think another issue here is that many people just don't understand having activities beyond home/work. That is what they were taught to focus on and they simply cannot understand "hobbies". They are seen as wasting time and money and I often sense a bit of jealousy. My wife and I are totally on the same page with hobbies as we see them as enhancing our lives as well as setting a better example to our girls.

When you have a hobby person together with a no hobby person, things get very messy. Seen it too many times to count. It is often said that money is a key cause of divorce, but in my personal experience when you look under the hood in those cases it is often a disagreement about priorities.

To the OP, do everything you can to communicate. Sounds like the channels may have some static.
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post #23 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

boys and their toys...LOL

I told my better half very shortly after meeting her if she ever decided to try the (for me it was bikes) motorcycle or me argument..she should ensure that her bags were packed before starting. it would make the time of egress quicker..........no I wasn't kidding and to this day I ride. She went the other route and decided to get a bike as well and now enjoys it almost as much as me.
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post #24 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

Yes, the "quit what you love or i'm quitting you" seems like a pretty dumb way to start any relationship. And admittedly is sadly common.

Something tells me this is more of the "what is this new obsession and how does it fit into our life" situation that comes up on here all the time. New couples should be very aware of what makes each other tick and be supportive. On the other hand, if you take up a new, completely consuming (i.e. boat restore), and expensive hobby then it is up to YOU to do all you can to gently and considerately blend it into the relationship. You can really blindside your significant other if you wake up one day and tell them you are a sailor. Kicking your SO to the curb because they don't immediately get in line with your new obsession is damn extreme and frankly odd advise to give someone you don't know on a forum.


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boys and their toys...LOL
I know this is a common funny phrase but it most certainly cuts both ways. I don't think the boys have a corner on the market. Especially as you get into younger couples.
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Last edited by AlaskaMC; 10-07-2013 at 03:13 PM.
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post #25 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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Yes, the "quit what you love or i'm quitting you" seems like a pretty dumb way to start any relationship. And admittedly is sadly common.

Something tells me this is more of the "what is this new obsession and how does it fit into our life" situation that comes up on here all the time. New couples should be very aware of what makes each other tick and be supportive. On the other hand, if you take up a new, completely consuming (i.e. boat restore), and expensive hobby then it is up to YOU to do all you can to gently and considerately blend it into the relationship. You can really blindside your significant other if you wake up one day and tell them you are a sailor. Kicking your SO to the curb because they don't immediately get in line with your new obsession is damn extreme and frankly odd advise to give someone you don't know on a forum.
totally agree with this and please understand I was not recommending my method for anyone else. cycling has been part of my life since I was 4, not optional to give it up.
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post #26 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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I know this is a common funny phrase but it most certainly cuts both ways. I don't think the boys have a corner on the market. Especially as you get into younger couples.
yep as can be seen by the end of my post. she has taken to motorcycles and even 4 wheelers. now days I think she has more toys than I do. LOL we never frown on one another getting another toy as long as it's thought out and not going to put us in the poor house. LOL
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post #27 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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totally agree with this and please understand I was not recommending my method for anyone else. cycling has been part of my life since I was 4, not optional to give it up.
NO! I agree with your point totally that at the start of a relationship making these non negotiables clear is the SMART thing to do. I was pointing out when a new hobby comes into the picture it needs more gentle handling.
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post #28 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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NO! I agree with your point totally that at the start of a relationship making these non negotiables clear is the SMART thing to do. I was pointing out when a new hobby comes into the picture it needs more gentle handling.
well that's a new one.....we will agree to agree than. LOL
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post #29 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

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well that's a new one.....we will agree to agree than. LOL
Yep crazy huh? Agreement on sailnet. Sign of the apocalypse I think.
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post #30 of 36 Old 10-07-2013
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Re: A mistress?

Between work and a child on the way I am losing time with my mistress of the sea also. There has even been talk of buying a bow rider. For now I will keep my sail boat hidden in a marina far far away. I will slowly teach my child the ways of sailing when my wife is not around. Then when he is old enough and strong we will unite and destroy the evil empire! NO more stinkpots ever!!! This could back fire and I wind up solo sailing till I get eaten by a whale.
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