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-   -   A mistress? (http://www.sailnet.com/forums/general-discussion-sailing-related/104482-mistress.html)

Mr. Chef 10-07-2013 06:06 AM

A mistress?
 
The boat I am about to reclaim is in the driveway on stands about 2 days before I find time to get in her and reel at the project ahead. I spend about an hour and a half one afternoon tossing out cushions and boxing up stuff I might want to keep. Weekend comes, and I get the 'honey do' list. When I mention I want to finish up cleaning out the boat, here it comes, "I feel like your priorities are shifting to the boat when we need stuff done on the house too". Really? After 1.5 hours? I get that? We are not looking at a showdown, it was all pretty mild, but seriously. So I replaced a few light fixtures in the house, went to the dump, leisurely ate some lunch with the family, rolled up the hose for winter storage, etc. The gramp, now sits virtually empty except for the mold and mildew, and about an inch of water in the bilge. Working together toward a brighter future. ;)

BubbleheadMd 10-07-2013 06:55 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Seriously? After an hour and a half?

Get rid of the boat, it's over for you. You'll never be left alone long enough to do any meaningful work on it. It'll be an endless source of contention and argument.

I, on the other hand went the opposite route. I fired my wife and kept the boat.

Minnewaska 10-07-2013 07:21 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Apparently, you got the list because it works. You seemed to drop what you were doing and got right to it. :)

Have you ever done a time consuming project at home before? Does your spouse have any interest in the boat or going sailing in her? I suspect not, which will become contentious. The time is one thing, wait until the cost of a project boat starts rolling in.

weinie 10-07-2013 07:30 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
EJECT!!!
http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/da.../07/eject8.jpg

Jiminri 10-07-2013 07:42 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Chef,
Sounds like your problem is because your wife see's the boat as "your boat." If you can get your wife and family excited about sailing, boating, being out on the water, and generally having a good time together on the boat, then the boat becomes the "family's boat." And any hours (and $) you then unselfishly devote to getting it ready will be appreciated as your loving devotion to future good times together as a couple and a family.

eherlihy 10-07-2013 08:12 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
I've danced to this tune too...

MY solution was to keep the wife, but jettison the house; I got fed up with fix this, paint that, mow the lawn, clean the pool, open the pool, weed the garden, water the flowers, rake the leaves, etc., etc., etc... The kids were almost gone, and the housing market was heating up. So, we sold the 4br house, and bought a 2br condo!

The condo fee is far lower than the operating expense of the house (about half). I don't do outside projects, there is no lawn/garden/pool for me to maintain, and she is happy that it is easier to keep clean. This also provided the final push to get the 26 year old step son to move out on his own too.

Win, Win, Win! :)

krisscross 10-07-2013 08:17 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Dude... name the boat after your wife and problem is solved!

Silvio 10-07-2013 08:20 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Nothing else for it. I'm sorry to inform you that your wife will have to go. I'm sure you've had a lovely run so far, but some things are just unavoidable. I think it best that this was discovered early. Go sailing, it'll lessen the sting.

ropeclimber 10-07-2013 08:34 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
Before you toss your wife overboard ;) you might try to have a sincere heart-to-heart with her in which you express how important this project is to you, and remind her how much you support her hobbies and personal growth.

My husband and I had such a heart-to-heart when I took up [insert any one of my numerous obsessions]. Once I understood what he was worried about, I made a point of going above and beyond to show him that the family, the house, my part-time job, etc would not be neglected due to my latest hobby. Once he saw that, he suddenly became my biggest fan, bragging about my latest achievements to all his friends.

I don't know you or your wife, but I'll bet your can-do attitude and handiness with tools was one of the things that attracted her to you in the first place. I'll also bet that once that boat gets a little closer to being cruise-ready, she'll start bragging about her awesomely capable husband to all her girlfriends, telling them how nice it is to spend weekends on the water in the boat her husband built. :D

blutoyz 10-07-2013 08:45 AM

Re: A mistress?
 
I'm sorry...


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