Join Date: Jun 2004
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Regatta Pointe Marina - Sensitity
To my faithful audience who has missed "blackhat", your Dock Witch Almighty is back on the scene! I checked myself into the Sedona Sensitivity Clinic, but when an overworked, exasperated instructor finally suggested to me (after I had extended my stay for the third time) that I just practice getting in touch with my soft feminine side, I yelled "Are you out of your mind, or what?!". A refund is in the mail. DWA''s traveling expenses, minimal because brooms do not require fuel, will be hidden in your monthly electric bill.
Since practice makes perfect, DWA has some sensitive remarks to offer:
Poor Hypocritical Harry, who had to seek medical help to unlock his middle fingers from over his pointer fingers. He had those fingers crossed so tight that Ivan would wipe out the entire marina so that an insurance payoff would save him from having to replace the rotted docks, 12-25 year old pilings, and the inadequate fire hydrant system. Harry, if those middle fingers of yours are not working properly, past and present boat owners of RPM will gladly give you their middle finger.
During Ivan our GM (in his Gaseous Moron role) was observed walking the docks trying to acquaint himself with the marina. He was carrying his copy of "Boating for Dummies" in a Ziploc bag and was heard mumbling nautical terms of out context.
Realizing some rather costly work needs to be done to restore the marina''s trendy "shabby chic" look, and having fired the security guard, our GM (in his Gallant Moron role) personally staked out the area behind the bathhouse until he spotted the homeless person with the sign around his neck: Will work for food. After his work assignment is completed, he will be rewarded with stale pastries and a bill for $150 for use of the ground.
At the first ray of sunshine our GM (in his Grass Mower role) issued the order to continue chopping those mangroves. Some to the ground! For those of you who have expressed concern that the "trimming" of the mangroves lacked a permit to do so, just ask the Grass Mower to show it. Or for more personal satisfaction, contact the EPA.
Of course, in the wake of danger, RPM should remember that ongoing credit is due to Palmetto''s fire marshal who saw fit several weeks ago to un-condemn the clubhouse on the third floor. Not only are boat owners free to gather there now, they can seek its "safety" for hurricane parties.
My most sensitive comments are for Lisa, Bill & the kids who lost their boat (and home) to Ivan. I''m sorry I made your life so miserable that you anchored out in the river. But $150 is $150! You''re lucky to have real friends who keep you in their prayers and truly care.
Finally, my last sensitive comment is, upon catching up on Sailnet discussions: HEY! bwalker42! Don''t you know that "God helps those who help themselves" is not from the Bible? Benjamin Franklin said it.
And, the Proud Mayor of Palmetto just keeps looking on and smiling.