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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related)
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  #11  
Old 11-20-2004
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kokopelli9 is an unknown quantity at this point
anybody else in this boat

Much better Denr...laughter is the best medicine but not all have the same sense of humor or the same level of healing.

b

s/v Kokopelli
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  #12  
Old 11-20-2004
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Denr is an unknown quantity at this point
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It''s not our differences in healing (put a reef in the main) nor is it our sence of humor......some of us take oursevles WAY too seriously on this message board!!!!

BTW, I wasn''t looking for your approval of my post.
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  #13  
Old 11-20-2004
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rskaug is on a distinguished road
anybody else in this boat

belliegirl, first things first I say. Keep your spouse happy. My wife''s dream was to go cycle touring so I write from the public library in Las Cruces, NM. on a rest day. When we have finished our (projected) 18 month "circumnavigation" of the US by bicycle we will go back home, sell the house and take up MY dream.
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  #14  
Old 11-20-2004
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TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough
anybody else in this boat

A spouse in need is a spouse in greed.

Cliche''s excused, marriage is an endless struggle for some common ground. So much has been written on the differences of sexes (what gives with Venus vs. Mars?) but no single person can calm the storm.

Only a mutual compassion and a shared spirit for challenging the sea can set a common course for the captain and his (her) first mate.

If I had the answer, my life would be better.

Steve
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  #15  
Old 11-20-2004
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Steve,

I think you have the answer..."Only a mutual compassion and a shared spirit for challenging the sea can set a common course for the captain and his (her) first mate"...the hard part is putting it into practice.
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  #16  
Old 11-21-2004
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Belliegirl, I was timed out at the station and had to rush my thought, so let me expand a bit before wishing you well.

You seem to have serious commitments where you are so I would say the first thing is to embrace and honor the dreams that brought you there. For myself, a sip of wine or one lick on an icecream cone isn''t very satisfying. I would say protect and keep the sailing dream that is at present stifled. Life is short and yet we do have time to use. In my case I was drawn to sailing in the 70''s and have had a lifelong interest, but because of committments like yours and a lack of time and money I never even considered that I might actually have a boat and act on the dream. Now that I am in my fifties I find I live in a state of perfect freedon that I never expected planned for or would have been able to appreciate 20 years ago when I really ached for it. As for my sailing dream I joined a sailing club for a year and now own a balboa 8.2 which stirs my heart, but my wife''s dream is cycle touring. We expect to be able to sail later into life than we will be able to ride so touring comes first. The surprising thing for me is that cycling is fulfilling a lot of the expectations I had for sailing. The desire I had as a younger man for adventure has grown into a desire for a radically simple life that would be literally illegal ashore. Illegal unless one is a bicycle nomad. Everything we need for comfort and happiness we carry on our bikes. It has become a joke with my wife that as we put on our helmets in the morning and get ready to ride I have to say "I think this is going to be a good day". And usually as we go through the last little routines of the day in our tent I have to say "hasn''t this been a great day". The longer we ride we meet people who have toured different routes and different countries and continents all over the world and the possibilities are so very attractive. I believe that someday we will put Quattro de Mayo back in the water but it is getting really hard to think about saying "I''m through riding".

I hope I''ve understood your appeal and have given something that is sympathetic and encouraging. I would say life is full of blessings so savor the ones you have, protect and cherish your dream and don''t ever pass on a chance to act.
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  #17  
Old 11-22-2004
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Belliegirl

Sounds like sailing is in your blood. There is nothing wrong with that. Sailing and the joy of it can always be a part of your life....and you don''t have to be living aboard for that to happen. You can enjoy talking about it, planning it, reading about it and sharing your love for sailing with your family. And when they feel its draw as you do, introduce them to it.

One poster suggested a trailer sailor that you could take to a nearby lake. Great idea. Make sure it is a roomy, stable boat so that you give your spouse the best introduction to life aboard that you can (nothing worse than bobbing around in a cramped ugly thing getting seasick. Make it a GOOD experience. That will be step 1.

Then make a life plan. Another poster suggested vacationing on the water while looking for somewhere near the sea that you might relocate to. Another great idea. Call that step 2.

Then move up to a serious boat. A comfortable cruiser. Charter, crew or buy. Go with friends. Vacation in the islands.

If you want to share your love of sailing with your family and get them to want to share your dream...you are going to have to give them the same kind of experience that you had. Some experience they will love. Cherish and remember. Something transforming. Like the experiences you had.

It is not about negotiating or taking turns. It is about showing them something truly magical. Then they will catch the spirit you have and go where you want to go.

No matter what though, don''t wish your life away. Enjoy life and be happy every day, no matter where you are or what you are doing. Revel in the experience. Learn to be happy and then you can figure out how to change the lives of those in your family.

Hope this helps

John
s/v Invictus
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  #18  
Old 11-28-2004
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sailnaway is on a distinguished road
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My past was much like yours even sailing the 12 meter yacht and then I found myself in a relationship that took me away from the sea. This went on for several years then was gone and another lady came along a school teacher from Colorado but lived in the Albqurque area for 23 years having never seeing the ocean she was interested and I took her to California and she saw it for the first time.The next time was Destin Florida great beaches and the next was when we sailed our boat to Florida this summer and now she just wants that peace again even the storms did not stop her from becoming compleatly lost in the lure of the sea. We will be in New Mexico for Christmas and then visiting friends in Colorado you can not help but love the west it is beautiful. This is what I wanted but she was willing to try it after a few days of sun and being able to just wear what you want or not. A nice evening with wine a good steak or fresh fish on the grill and some bright moonlit passage some dancing in a beach bar aand the warm breeze and laughter in time you can only be drawn by that sort of thing. My wife gave up her house just off main street a restored 1903 home beautiful to look at warm and friendly place flower garden and all that,friends and family have to write or call and most of them will not come to visit. She is bugging me to head out again this time to Central America go figure.
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Old 12-08-2004
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Eliduc is on a distinguished road
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"Was that the best you could ofer this person?" Maybe not but it was the funniest.
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Old 12-08-2004
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Eliduc is on a distinguished road
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My best friend gave me some advice when we were still young. He said, "You need to get sex,kids marriage and all that kind of stuff out of the way while you are young so that when you are fifty you can go hunting and fishing. (Back then fifty seemed old.)
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