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belliegirl2 11-17-2004 12:38 PM

anybody else in this boat
Driving only a computer screen.

I was raised in Long Beach California on a sailboat. Started sailing with family and others from the time I could walk. At age 12 was cruising the channel Islands as a babysitter/deckhand for anyone in need. Did my first 12am-4am solo watch at this age(columbia 30 I believe). At thirteen started racing in local races (wet wednesdays, LA Times series). Twice raced to Mexico. Sailed on and played helmesman on an older americas cup boat. Crewed on a tall ship during a parade. Missed an oportunity to bring a boat through the Panama canal due to a d grade in algebra.

I never knew any life but that on a sailboat. All changes at the age of 17. Parents divorce and boat gets sold. I moved to New Mexico to attend college. I still live here and am raising my family.

I love my job but not a day goes by without constant daydreaming of my past lifestyle. My spouse wants to sail but has no desire to live on or cruise long distance. And the older I get(now 35) This is all I can think about.

The only thing I own from my time on the boat is my fathers sextant and a tattered paperback virsion of Robin Lee Grahams book The Dove.

If anybody else is in this boat please share, beacause this boat called "Misery" certainly needs some company.

Tree 11-17-2004 04:39 PM

anybody else in this boat
not in the same boat ....but a suggestion.

Drive over to Texas and bring home a good trailerable sailboat in the 22- 24'' range. Check out Elephant Butte Lake. Let your wife learn to love sailing too. Then... maybe 5 to 10 years from now, you can start to think about the next step... maybe getting something much bigger and leaving it in a bigger pond.

Just a thought.

Sailormon6 11-17-2004 05:57 PM

anybody else in this boat
Belliegirl2, my ultimate dream is to sail to the Med, and live aboard in Spain, Portugal, France, Italy, Greece and elsewhere, seeing the sights, visiting museums, crawling all over ancient ruins, and dining in European restaurants. That dream might happen, but if it doesn''t, I''ll be happy cruising Florida, the islands and the east coast. If that doesn''t happen, I''ll be happy sailing up and down an inland lake somewhere. Dream big dreams, but be happy with whatever good things you accomplish.

Try to gradually build your spouses interest in sailing, but if it doesn''t take, then go to "plan B." Many of my sailing friends have spouses who aren''t into sailing, so they singlehand their boats, or sail with their children or with friends. Where I sail, there are three women who jointly own a boat, and they daysail and race it together.

Denr 11-18-2004 04:52 AM

anybody else in this boat
Have you seriously considered suicide!

kokopelli9 11-18-2004 07:52 AM

anybody else in this boat


Was that the best you could offer this person?

SailorMitch 11-18-2004 11:53 AM

anybody else in this boat

Appears that Denr has slipped back into his Eddie Haskel mode. To make it up, I propose that the original poster be granted a week sailing on Lake Michigan on a certain someone''s boat.


kokopelli9 11-18-2004 01:09 PM

anybody else in this boat

I am afraid you are right, but I believe that if you can''t lift someone up, you certainly should not use your energy to push them to just keep you mouth shut or your fingers off the keyboard as in this case.
As for Belliegirl2, Yes, there are many of us in your boat...wanting to sail off in the sunset, but for various reasons have not or can not. You have gotten wonderful suggestions here, take them and run with them...and don''t for a minute decide that your dream is not accomplishable. Your spouse may fall in love with sailing and want to spend more and more time doing it, but don''t push...let him discover it as his spirit needs to for himself.
Sailing is my sanctuary and I can not imagine life without it...I do not have some one to share this with me so I singlehand and try to learn everything I can so that my ventures will grow longer and more intense.
Your age is still young and there are many years ahead of you to discover many dreams. As a 52 year old female, I am getting ready to crew on my first offshore delivery in a few weeks!

Dreams grow and change...many years ago my dream was to simply own a sailboat that I could sleep on...after purchasing my first sailboat that I could do this on, I dropped anchor in the middle of the lake, jumped off and swam away without looking back...when I had been a fair distance I stopped and looked at MY that moment I was the richest person in the world...I had had a dream come true and how much richer can one be than that!
Take small steps and you''ll get dream at a time.

Bobbi (kokopuff)

S/V Kokopelli

928frenzy 11-18-2004 02:52 PM

anybody else in this boat
I''m not in your boat, but I can offer some encouragement nonetheless.

You are still young, and have more then half your life ahead of you. There may come a day when the opportunity, time and finances allow you to cruise as you dream. Perhaps by then, your spouse and family will also want to join you.

In the meantime I suggest you consider some alternatives that may help you fufill your dream. For example, plan a future vacation that includes sailing. Perhaps a charter or even some day cruises will get your family more in-tuned with your dream. If nothing else, the sailing may help relieve some of your fustrations. It will also help keep your sailing skills from getting rusty.

While on thoses cruises, investigate the local job market and housing situation. Who knows - maybe there are good work and living conditions for your family near a marina.

Chin up. Good sailors don''t let a little rain keep them from making headway. Keep reading sailing books and encourage your family to do so as well. "Dove" is a good one, but there are many other sailing books that provide the reader with a "can-do" spirit.

~ Happy sails to you ~ _/) ~

thorJ30 11-18-2004 04:01 PM

anybody else in this boat
the really good point is that sailing is a bit like bicycle riding, if you mastered it once its easy to learn again.. things happen naturally.... I sailed as a kid on my own scow and on my parents keel boat nad startet sailing with my wife 3 years ago ...

got samll boat first... than last year i got a bigger one after i made sure that the admiral liked it as well :-)

get a boat and some water you owe it to yourself


Denr 11-20-2004 04:22 AM

anybody else in this boat
Thanks for those swats on the nose with a rolled up newspaper one and all! Dr. Den says laughter is the best medicine. Use this forum as someone suggested to discover new friends, as I have, bum rides on OPB, exchange dreams with those that share our passion and most importantly keep the spirit alive and burning within you.....boy the things you read on the internet, I was trying to coax a smile out of Belliegirl2!

Have you seriously considered counseling?

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