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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related)
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  #11  
Old 12-30-2005
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jared is on a distinguished road
wasn''''t anyone scared?

Imonson-
<<ive never done anything like this before and im scared of >> You probably should have a head-to-head discussion with your boyfriend. If your relationship is going to go anywhere, you should be able to talk to each other about needs and fears.
And, it is TOTALLY NORMALLY to be afraid, or at least apprehensive, about something like this. There are serious issues that the two of you should explore BEFORE setting out on a Pacific megatrip and if he''s a good sailor...he''ll take both you and the boat out of a series of shake-down cruises before trying the big one. That''s only common sense.
You go out for an overnight, to get a feel for the boat and the whole overnight cycle on it. Then you go a little further, offshore out of sight of land, again, to get used to the sight of it. Maybe spend a week out, to get used to life on the boat. And before you go any distance offshore, you go out sailing IN THE RAIN AND WIND to get used to bad weather--which hits everyone sooner or later--and to build some confidence in high winds.
Anyone who just takes it all on at once, without needing to do it that way, is just a reckless daredevil.
You apparently aren''t a blue-sea sailor (and that''s no insult) so you have no way to tell if the bf is competent at sea. That''s reason alone to worry, and he shouldn''t have any macho problems with saying "Come out for a day, two , three, let''s get you used to this" because at sea, you will have to be an equally competent PARTNER, not just "the little lady" in a glass house.
Comfort in wind and weather and out of sight of sea just takes some time to build. Maybe you will, or maybe you''ll decide (like 99% of all people) that life on shore in a warm dry house is just way more sane. I''m not saying the majority is correct on that <G> just that it is a common thought.<G>
If the Big Trip is going to be right, and the two of you are going to be equally happy with it...he can afford to take some time and bring up your comfort level. Better to find out now, than to abandon ship in Osaka and find yourself flying home solo.
My mother asks me "How can you sleep at night in a little boat all the way out there?" and I tell her, either I can sleep (trusting the watch to deal with things) and the boat is safe, or the boat is sinking. Easy, only two choices, sink or bail. Then Bail or abandon ship or go back to sleep. EASY CHOICES.<G> Well, for some people, sometimes.<G> Sleeping ashore and listening to car alarms and street noises and crazy neighbors...to me, that''s more worrisome than "are we sinking?"
You''re entitled to some time and patience, to make up your own mind and reach your own comfort zone.
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