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  #1  
Old 2 Weeks Ago
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Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

So the stars are finally aligning and I'm very near to retiring. The boat work is progressing well and I find myself often talking at work about our plans. "Head to the Caribbean and points beyond" from our home in the Panhandle of Florida. We're around cruisers in the marina frequently and have friends who have already left and others who are sitting in the yard with the last touchups to be done.
The thing is, the most common refrain from landlubber friends and coworkers is "What about pirates?" Not storms or big waves or the boat sinking or alien invasion or Obama somehow screwing it all up. No. Pirates. What gives here and what is a comeback that doesn't sound sarcastic or naÔve? Right now it's just an "Arrrgg, I'm the pirate they should be worried about!" Got anything better?
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

I'll be curious. I'm not too snappy myself but it's a fun question. I get hammered with detractors myself. So let's hear the ammo. I need some.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

There is no ammo. You just cop the drivel. It gets easier now because I can say "well, during my first circumnavigation...."
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

1. Pirates? Are you stupid?
2. I hate yoga. Oh, pirates, not pilates. Sorry, I thought it was a typo, not idiocy.
3. I'm not worried about pirates, I plan to have a ransom contingency fund. I need $1000 from you. No? Then don't ask to come for a sail, cheapskate.
4. When you bought popcorn at the cineplex you got more ripped off by Pirates of the Carribbean than most cruisers ever will.
5. Statistically, you are more likely to be able to lick your elbow than I will be attacked by pirates. Stop trying to lick your elbow. Please.
6. After working/living/being neighbours with you, pirates would be a pleasant relief.
7. Please stop trying to lick your elbow.
8. Pirates only target ships that offer the possiblility of valuable cargo, a valuable vessel, or ransom because someone back home cares about the crew. My ego thanks you. Now, how long have you been this stupid... and do you have a sister?
9. Many restaurants in the Caribbean offer very good desserts, but I have no idea how the pie rates.
10. If I was really worried about the POSSIBILITY of pirates I would stay home like you, and keep working and paying taxes thus ensuring that I am CERTAINLY being pillaged.

and a bonus:

11. It's a cruising thing. You wouldn't understand.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

Worried about the Pirates? No, the Cardinals will kick their a$$ this year.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

I got nothin'.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

BL wow you hit it again and again.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

Quote:
Originally Posted by bljones View Post
4. When you bought popcorn at the cineplex you got more ripped off by Pirates of the Carribbean than most cruisers ever will.
Yes, I lol'd.

But I did not try to lick my elbow.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

I'm not sure that I would respond with some clever comeback line, as for a lot of people it is a natural concern. I would just politely say that "I plan to avoid areas where pirates are known to operate." And this is what I would say to my kids as well.
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Re: Snappy or otherwise Comebacks

Tell them, once you've survived an IRS audit, pirates are tame.
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