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Things you can say about your boat but not your girlfriend?

10K views 45 replies 38 participants last post by  albrazzi 
#1 ·
A classic subject from 'Whose Line is it Anyway':

"She's riding kinda low"

"You can fit a dozen guys down below"

"She's taking on water"

"Nice trim"

"She's going down!"

Can you think of anymore?

Pete
 
#4 ·
She rides better bow down.
That one is really beamy
Reminds me of this one stolen from "that other site," referencing new sails.

Dear Crew,

Y'all did pretty well last year but I thought it would be good to get some new talent on the boat.

The good thing about being owner though, and having to pay for it, is that I get to play with them first. So I dragged those raven haired beauties down to the boat and took them out last night for a test drive. No fat bottom girls in the bunch they are all very long and lean and well trimmed. But they demand attention. First I had to bend one of them over the boom, but they all went up and down nicely and I got to spend hours playing. The good news is that if you grind them just right, they are quite a bit faster than the old girls. I was concerned that the wife might figure out what was going on, especially since one of them is a screecher, but I managed to hide her below decks out of sight after I was done. Anyway, you guys can have sloppy seconds on Wednesday night.

Skipper
 
#11 ·
How about:

Her bottom needs a good cleaning
She likes when it's blowing stink
Her waterline is dirty
I just polished her topsides
Her deck needs some work
I can't wait to splash her and have some fun

Barry
 
#17 · (Edited)
She's filthy. Better hose her down!

'Been a long day. Might as well take her home and tie her up.

She smells kinda funny down below.

I could sell 'er, but I wouldn't get much.

She leaks.

She's slow. Really slow.

Expensive to maintain.

Her head is full of $%#&.

She's looking kind of shabby, but a good waxing ought'a help.

The first time I was on her, she was still in her cradle.
 
#23 · (Edited)
If my wife every figures out where the money goes I'm in big trouble.

I have to leave her alone when my back flares up.

Most days she's not much to look at, but she cleans up all right.
 
#24 ·
She is a little slow, i need to make her faster
 
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