I've been trying to craft a polite and reasoned response to this, but I suspect anything I say will fall on deaf ears. I'll make a half-hearted attempt anyway:
"Sailing" is very old. "Yachting" or sailing for recreation is actually a much younger activity, having its roots in working vessels racing each other on rare holidays. When recreational sailing and racing established itself as a regular sport or activity, it was mostly the wealthy that did it. Regular folks didn't take it up as a pastime until the explosion of the middle class and the availability of affordable, fiberglass boats.
Still, yacht clubs have a bit of history and tradition. Many of those traditions are linked to mariner's traditions and some are linked to national naval traditions. Sexism and racism is bad, but most of these traditions aren't racist or sexist. Now we have an opportunity to include other races and genders in observing these long standing traditions.
The term "yacht" does carry a major negative connotation in the U.S. but not elsewhere. It's simply a term for a recreational boat, even very small boats.
I'm guessing that you've never really been to a club as a guest or member. Even the most uptight clubs don't wear blazers and admiral's caps on a daily basis. Usually it's just the board members, and they wear them twice per year for the bi-annual meetings.
The rest of the time, people wear the same casual clothes as anyone else who goes sailing.
AYC, which is 130 years old had 3 decks before it burned. The top deck was the most formal, requiring a jacket for dinner. The second deck was more casual and the third deck was pretty much the "tiki bar". You could be as uptight or as casual as you like.
No, I don't ask people if they'd like to visit my "yacht club". I just call it the "club" and I sell it to them based on the cool fleet of shared boats that we have, the good racing, the low cost, and the great people that we have. Our beach cat, Flying Scot and Albacore sailors are highly skilled and fun as hell to be around.
We're not an elitist bunch of a$$holes laughing and rubbing hundred dollar bills all over ourselves while our trophy wives look on. (I borrowed that line from someone else, it was too funny not to)
Yeah, I wear a jacket and tie twice per year- once at Flag Raising Day, which is a party where we kick off the new season and once at the annual meeting where the board gives an account of itself to the members. I view the jacket and tie as an expression that I take my responsibility to you the member, seriously. I want to spend your annual dues in a responsible way and provide the best organized, most fun racing and sailing possible. It's also a link to some past traditions that weren't necessarily bad. Sorry if that makes me an elitist a$$hole that doesn't know how to have fun.
I'm familiar with the grumpy old white people that you are stereotyping, and guess what? They're aging out. Instead of letting clubs die out of spite, maybe it's time for younger people to step in and run them. Here's another "guess what?" for you- It *is* possible to have a fun, cool club that still honors some past traditions. "Fun" isn't necessarily contradictory to putting on a set of clean, unstained clothes, and shoes that aren't flip-flops once a year.