Cruising With Children

[sailhog]

Svrenovatio,
How could you possibly be offended by someone -- a father and experienced sailor in this case -- who expresses his concern for children who find themselves on long-distance passages on cruises that last many months and often many years? You're confusing honest and informed dissent with arrogance.

[sailingdog]

Ian-

Robbing the cradle again?? She looks a bit young for me...and I know I'm younger than you are...

[ianhlnd]

sailingdog:

Robbing the cradle again?? She looks a bit young for me...and I know I'm younger than you are... [IMG]../images/smilies/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

My girlfriend's daughter, that's why I blurred the face, ooops!

[sailaway21]

It seems that we always end up in the slops when we start responding to specific posts versus just stating our own opinions. I did not interpret
Giu as attacking svrenovation and thought svrenovatio's response was hot headed. I also thought renovatioa's view on the "faith sharing" thread was accurate.

At the moment i am wondering if my second post in this thread was too directed at Cam, I'll have to re-read it to be sure. I am sure that I could have just as well driven Cam away from the discussion as challenge his views. Better to not alienate someone whom I might be learning something from in the next post, by not making it personal. I've had to eat my crow on this site, and most it well due, and caused by being too personal versus dispassionately on topic.

This is a great thread idea, perhaps one of the best, and it is going to be controversial because the nature of it is inherently philosophical. And, when it comes to philosophy, men of good will can and will differ. This is probably not a topic that is going to change a lot of opinions, but perhaps it will allow us to consider the fullness of the topic in a way we have not previously.

You guys should shake hands and put this behind you both. We've got more in explanation than we do in fight. 'prolly not that bigga fight.

[sailingdog]

if she takes after her mother, i can see why you like her mother ...

Originally Posted by ianhlnd

sailingdog:
My girlfriend's daughter, that's why I blurred the face, ooops!

[SailorMitch]

Originally Posted by svrenovatio

I don't need manner lessons from you GUI. I always had heard it was the "ugly American" who spoke without and before thinking. Your thoughtless blanket statement was arrogant to say the least. It's may be how you feel and I'll defend your rights to share it. My response was how I felt at the time I read your comments. I had responded in a civil and thought out manner until my son, who as a matter of fact will have a CRUEL 3 or 4 year experience starting next year due to my selfish nature, hit delete by mistake.

To each his own.

Sorry if I offended anyone. I'm not religious or Christian but I was totally offended by many on this board who responded to the "share the word" thread that was offered a few weeks ago....

If you're not enjoying yourself on here and take offense so easily, why bother logging on at all? If you had written a civil and thoughtful response that your son deleted by mistake, then why come back with the "shove it" statement? Your words describing your actions make no sense. I tend to look at the "value added" of what people post on here. Sometimes the value is humor, or sarcasm, pure entertainment, a personal opinion, or even sailing expertise (when all else fails!) But what have your posts added to this thread?

I have no children and have only met a few kids who were on long family cruises. Some of the kids obviously loved it, some obviously hated it.

One Canadian family I met a few years ago particularly bothered me because the father was intent on a circumnavigation and the wife kept saying that they were going to do it for 6 months and then take it from there. The two kids, 8 and 11 as I recall, just looked at me with those sad eyes Giu wrote about. My boat happened to be tied up to a bulkhead in front of their's during the Annapolis boat show several years ago. We got quite chatty during the show and this conversation happened the last night I was there -- sipping port on this 47 footer they had. I often have wondered what became of them.

[svrenovatio]

Once again I've spent a great amount of time to respond with an end result of the post being lost.

In a nutshell. I've sorry for calling GUI a bad name even know I still think it was arrogant to make such a blanket statement. The rum was flowing...
My bad.

Some may think my wife & I cruel and selfish. Others don't... I don't give a damn. As stated before, we have not got to where we are today by placing much weight on comments we feel are stupid or thoughtless. ( So I guess it's CRUEL & SELFISH v STUPID & THOUGHTLESS... Just MY thoughts based on my experience) I do agree that there are those out there that might fall directly into that clasification. We know we don't. In fact, the yacht to us is mainly a place to stay while we are seeing the world for our son's and yes, OUR benefit.

Hell no I didn't think he was attacking me personally. Just thousands of family sailors & cruisers....

I can see how much of a risk financially it may be for some.. Not for us. Please don't take this wrong but we can afford to make an attempt and if we found out it wasn't working for our son, be back in the US in or home without feeling it AT ALL and in a matter of days. And we would. He is #1 for us Dr. Spock. We are through working (in general) and feel very lucky to have had such success but Ive been around long enough to have people I've worked with and know, pass on due to accidents and illness in their 30's and 40's and I'm going to use my time to see the world and share it with my son. I pitty those who could and don't and feel sorry for those who can't.

We are in our mid 40's. We could have left years ago before my wonderful son came around. We are more excited to do it with him (4 when we leave)then alone so for those of you who world feel it a a hellish adventure to travel like that with a child or children, I feel sorry for you... really. I think those with that attitude are missing something grand...

As far as getting lost in the Jungle.... Never. I have a hot head once in a while but more likely would be one invited to stay until I wanted to leave.

Good thread...

[bestfriend]

Personally, I think there is good and bad in both sides of this argument. What is right for the children varies from family to family. I would like to think that parents know what is best for their children, but I don't know people here personally, and we have all seen how wrong some parents can be. My personal view is that it would be alright until the kids reach around 8 or 10, then its time to start listening to their opinions. If my 8 year old said "Dad, I want to live on land" I would give it some serious thought. My parents moved me clear across the country at that age, against my wishes, and it had a huge negative impact on my life. I want to live on board a boat, my son is six. I look at him, and I look at his life now, and I think "no" it would be too disruptive. I can achieve the same affect by taking him on short cruises, showing him a different life that way. If I had a boat when he was born, then I might have moved aboard for a while. One thing I have read over and over is that teenagers, for the most part, should not be confined to life on board. Anyway, svrenovatio, glad to see you come back with a thought out response and not a full frontal assault.

[Sailormann]

We never cruised for long periods of time, but there was a ten year stretch when my Dad took us out for the annual summer vacation on the big green ketch. Him, three of us boys and my mother. First week was usually good, but as we got older - early teens - the second week was hell for all concerned. We got restless on a boat, too much energy and nothing to do with it so we would play tricks on each other or on one of my parents which would make the other parent mad and then there'd be a mad scramble for the bow. Then there was the night we took off in the tender and it got loose and was never seen again... The night we decided to try the scotch... The day my mother almost drowned... Lots of great memories but there were a lot of arguments (between us kids) and fights and sulking.

Parents finally decided it wasn't worth it and went off alone. We stayed home, sailed our dinghies, went camping, played sports and hung out with the kids we weren't supposed to hang out with... Much happier all around.

I think it's a good thing for younger children. Not so much for older ones, but as an adult - it's Nirvana...

[Raggbagger]

On the other hand
Not having kids on land , may not be awful for them either . I have two daughters 1 and 3 yrs and if the budget was no problem I dare say my wife and I would consider another cruising episode (we did our cruising prior to babies) and will pick it up again someday. However the thought of my girls showing up some time down the road with Mall-rat ,video-game addicted, barbiedoll wanabee , "oh isnt Justin Timberlake dreamy"friends frankly teriffies me.Plus remember the scene in Capt Ron that made Her agree to go and get the boat Aye Caramba. Dear Lord let me be at sea with my family before one of my girls comes home with a ring on her finger from Jed Clampet . Just a thought