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Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest > General Discussion (sailing related)
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  #11  
Old 07-20-2007
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I hate to sound like a bore here but after I had my 2 kids within the last three years I am starting to sound like a father these days more and more...fficeffice" />>>
>>
Put the money in a long-term growth fund and leave it there for the next 20 or so years (or buy a house today). Work and get married (you may need some of that 40k for your wedding) and have kids. Buy a boat of course - something you can afford without depleting or savings or running up credit. Take your sabbatical if you wish but do what a few of the guys here recommend...crew and travel but don't burn through your savings – trust me on this.>>
>>
Remember $40k today is like $320k+ in 20 years if invested properly (assume it doubles every 7 years in the market). Think of the things you will need then - college tuition, house or maybe a bigger boat....you maybe your kids will need it. Do you own a house now? That $40k would make a great down payment…>>
> >
Free advice from a stranger who has some years on you…>>
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  #12  
Old 07-20-2007
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PT -

Yes I figured someone would raise this point...I guess you were first. Well maybe it is a commitment problem. But we have been dating for 7 years and have spent time apart before (the first year of our relationship we were on opposite sides of the Atlantic as well as for another four month period), we have lived in each others countries and left our friends and families behind to be together, and I took a big step back in my career to move to Germany with her. Generally we both have made big sacrifices for each other that would normally be a sign of "commitment".

But, perhaps you are right, perhaps it is a commitment thing. Or perhaps we just don't walk to the same tune as other people. One thing is for sure, after this trip I will definitely know the answer to your question. I guess this would be a good time to add one of the stipulations to my trip. I have one year, however approximately every three months I will return home for one month to spend time with my girl and the dog. Plus she will be able to take approximately six weeks off of work (all at once or in pieces) to come with me.

I guess I am just being stubborn and doing what I think a lot of people wish they had done when they were younger but never had the chance to. Other than one four month stint and one six month stint, I have never had a "break" from life. I went to school and then college and always was working the day after I got home for summer vacation (including holiday break). I want to do these things before I have kids because then I know I may never have a chance. I want to have kids but I don't want to regret not having taken this opportunity.


...wow that was long and sappy...

(p.s. I will make sure I give her the book right before I go hah hah!)
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  #13  
Old 07-20-2007
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TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough TrueBlue is a jewel in the rough
If you have lived with your S/O for the past 7 years, some would say you're both married through common law. (but after reading the previous post, I can see you were separated for a while). Regardless, a strong emotional bond is expected to exist between you to stay together this long. This does beg the question - Why are you relying upon the opinions of a group of total internet strangers to help you decide what you most desire in life?

For whatever our advice is worth, my suggestion is to follow your heart.

Perhaps however, there is a burning flame of doubt, fueled by a resentment to your girlfriend's "first love".

Quote:
I have pleaded and begged for my girlfriend to come, but she does not want to quit her job and furthermore feels like any sort of adventure would not be in the best interests of her first love (...see my avatar...).
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  #14  
Old 07-20-2007
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Kids really are the greatest experience you could ever wish for in life....they sound overwhelming and lot of work but worth every diaper change

Sailing with them is even better fficeffice" />>>
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  #15  
Old 07-20-2007
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Heh I can't keep up,

I think I left you with the wrong impression. I am not saying my goal is to spend all of this money (really I am one of the cheapest people on earth and very frugal with my money!!!). I just wanted to let you know that I had a budget to work with and that I couldn't go over it (this would keep out any crazy ideas...).

I know the bumfuzzle site and believe me it makes me sick as well, especially the "how much does this all cost" tab. Then they have the nerve to ask for donations!!!

CEB - believe me I am glad that I am learning that life is not all about the $$$ at such a young age and think that I am way ahead of that curve compared to most people around me. But I don't think we are talking exorbitant sums here. In fact, the first sign of me making that realization is that I want to take this time off. Wouldn't it be much more practical to work for a year AND save this money instead? Think of how many $$$ and 000 that would add to my 410k!!!

In fact I think we digress. Speaking of life not being about $$$, I also thought that I could take this year to learn something new. Perhaps an apprenticeship at a rigger or sailmaker. Maybe try something different and if I like it enough perhaps I could continue it after my sabbatical. Is this a possibility? Perhaps I would love it and then never go back to my old job.
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  #16  
Old 07-20-2007
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Hi TB,

Thanks for your kind words. Yes I didn't think of this idea last night when I was drunk at the bar, I have thought about it for awhile and discussed it extensively with my girlfriend.

To answer your question, I don't plan on choosing a "winner" from the responses and then doing that...I was just looking for help thinking outside of the box and thought maybe you guys would be able to provide some ideas I haven't thought of.

Rob - Yes I don't know that...but considering that 90% of the people that have kids (including friends of mine with unplanned pregnancies) say that kids were the greatest thing that ever happened to them, all you parents must know something that non-parents will never know.
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  #17  
Old 07-20-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TrueBlue View Post
Perhaps however, there is a burning flame of doubt, fueled by a resentment to your girlfriend's "first love".
Hah hah...well that might have been a possibility, but after failing to knock the bugger off after a couple of tries I decided that I would just love him too!!!
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  #18  
Old 07-20-2007
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Well I am going home now. I'll check in with you guys later. Thanks for the responses so far.
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  #19  
Old 07-20-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailorstone View Post
Heh I can't keep up,

I know the bumfuzzle site and believe me it makes me sick as well, especially the "how much does this all cost" tab. Then they have the nerve to ask for donations!!!
Yeah - the "buy us a pizza" link is pretty sick after all the money they've tabbed up there.

My significant other and I are in a similar situation to you, except that we want to do some adventuring quickly since her clock is no longer ticking - that is to say, we're expecting our first child in January. So we've talked, and planned, and compromised... and in a month we'll be starting our adventure (necessarily shorted because of the pregnancy). But even though she'd "let" me go off on an adventure by myself, I wouldn't think of doing it.

I have to agree with TrueBlue. 1) The opinions of a bunch of InterNet strangers are in many cases at best specious, and at worst, malicious. Do what you have to do. 2) If you're asking the opinion of a bunch of InterNet strangers about leaving your significant other for a year, you're looking for validation to do something you're feeling guilty about doing.

She might tell you it's OK to go, but it would mean a lot more to do something with her or elect not to go. Just my opinion. But I'm a softy where Michelle is concerned.
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  #20  
Old 07-20-2007
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If I had a year off and 40K to blow, I would go to Vegas, get a nice room and gamble until it was all gone. Oh wait, I guess I already did that....Maybe motorcycling around Europe? Or buy into a Bar or Pub and spend all day drinking and bullsh***ng with the customers. Oh wait.......
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