A few sailboating Don'ts - SailNet Community
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post #1 of 16 Old 07-31-2007 Thread Starter
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A few sailboating Don'ts

1. Don't ( this one I can up with ) leave your wife unsupervised on the boat for more than a few hours at a time, because, she'll I.M. you her newly started list of sailboating don'ts

2. Don't ( I came up with this one also ) read your wife newly started list sailboating Don'ts while sitting at a computer at work drinking coffee, this could not only be costly on the equip, but your employees may very well call the padded wagon when you bust out laughing for no appearent reason.

3. Don't ( this one is my wifes #1 on her newly started list of sailboating don't ) pick your nose using marine grade toilet paper, it instantly desolves leaving you with not only the rogue booger, but also a nose full of TP that harder to dig out than the previously mentioned rogue booger

Well, that's it for know, but I do have a meeting tomorrow in which case she'll be unattended for most the day and I'm affraid her list of sailboating don't may grow

1955 Blanchard 51 Custom ( I got a woody )

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post #2 of 16 Old 07-31-2007
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Don't:

Leave the little flap open to the TP Holder when showering and you don't have any more Toilet Paper. The little brown paper roll is very uncomfortable and does not flush well - even the marine grade kind.

- CD

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post #3 of 16 Old 07-31-2007
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CD–

I didn't think you used TP... just squatted and let loose in the old shorts and then buried the shorts in the nearest dumpster...

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post #4 of 16 Old 07-31-2007
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Quote:
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CD–

I didn't think you used TP... just squatted and let loose in the old shorts and then buried the shorts in the nearest dumpster...
I am beginning to think I better start using a different pen name for my writing! (smile)

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post #5 of 16 Old 07-31-2007
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Too late Brian...way too late...

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You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
a boat to the sea you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of the worlds. Love keeps
her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.

—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)

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post #6 of 16 Old 08-02-2007
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True don't on a vessel of any sort:
1. Don't spit or up-chuck into the wind.
2. Pass gas in small spaces.
3. Use wads of TP. It clogs the toilet.
4. Guests don't expect to be waited on hand & foot. That is only the Captain's privilege, and the SO laughs at that also.

SO = Significant Other.
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post #7 of 16 Old 08-02-2007
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What Boasun forgot to mention is the SO often expects to be waited on hand and foot... but don't do it... you'll never stop...and she'll start wanting that treatment on dry land...and then you're screwed.

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You know what the first rule of sailing is? ...Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take
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her going when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home.

—Cpt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity (edited)

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post #8 of 16 Old 08-02-2007
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Don't ask your wife / SO to clean the galley.
I made that mistake once and will never do it again.

After a day on the water were I cooked breakfast, sailed the boat for about four hours, anchored in a quite little bay, and than cooked dinner; and my wife was just snuggling down for an evening movie, I made the mistake of asking her if she was planning on cleaning the galley and doing the dishes?

Her response?

"Get me off this boat!"
"I am not your Galley Slave!"

The quite little anchorage was no longer quiet.

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If a man is to be obsessed by something, I suppose a boat is as good as anything, perhaps a bit better than most - E.B. White
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post #9 of 16 Old 08-02-2007
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I heard an efficiency expert speak about streamlining all the little things in your day to give you more time. A lot of it was common sense stuff to keep from walking the halls more than necessary. A big part of it was getting into the mode of analyzing everything you do for a few days because while the concepts are simple, the realization that a process could benefit from it is where most people fail to implement the concept. But he warned people not to take it too far. He said he watched his wife making him breakfast one morning and realized she made far more trips to the fridge, sink and stove than necessary and pointed it out to her. He said it used to take her 12 minutes to make his breakfast and now he does it in 8...
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post #10 of 16 Old 08-02-2007
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Don't have your 10 year old daughter attach the halyard to the mainsail head. (With out proper instruction). It will end up wrapped around the steaming light and cause you to balance on the boom with a boat pole for a good 15 mins
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