Careful, clear and calm communication is perhaps a little slower than screaming out jargon filled invective when trying to get something done, but if you communicate carefully (so as not to hurt feelings), clearly (and remove doubt and confusion) and calmly (to remove fear) you may just get to go sailing a second time with the same Admiral.
Failing in that, and let's face it we all have, you get to abjectly appologize and learn a different lesson; that the Admiral is probably a lot more forgiving that you are when she yells at you.
Having said that I'm in full agreement with Fcodtorre above - every second counts. You gain seconds by planning ahead and considering all the 'what if' senarios you can possibily imagine and every action and word you will use to convey to you crew what to do if it happens. That way when it does, you already know how to communicated carefully, clearly and calmly
Most folks think of sailors as stoic men lashed to the wheel of a bucking deck blown by forty plus knots of wind and sea snot staring ahead into the depth of a storm with unblinking blazing eyes.
In reality, in todays world most (non-racing) sailors are office workers who gather up their young and the Admiral and trot off to the boat for a weekend here and there.
Those of us that race around the cans on the side can yell pithy insults and suggestions at knot tieing and work out routines so we can winch faster next week all we want - bottom line is that behavior does not belong in the cockpit of family boat.
For me, the lesson is to get the Admiral to be a repeat visitor to my 'man cave' I have to insure it's not a man cave. The fact that drives that lesson is I'd rather sail anywhere with my Admiral than nowhere with out her.