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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-03-2008
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Naming, renaming, gods, etc

OK, here's the background. Bought the boat last winter, had it shipped home and we have been working on it ever since on the hard. We changed the name (#1) on the documentation papers when we bought it figuring on having the denaming/renaming ceremony once we were back in the water. Now we have decided to change the name again (haven't had the first new name put on transom yet) so here's the dilemma. Do we have to have two denaming (original name then #1) ceremonies prior to the naming (a), one denaming (original) and skip the unused name (although it is on the documentation papers now) and go directly to name #2 (b), or do we have to dename/rename (#1) then dename/rename (#2) again (c)? I don't know if we have enough money left in the boat account to buy that much champagne (I always buy the good stuff when dealing with Gods). So, should we just put the new (#2) name on and go sailing, drink the champagne ourselves and risk a horrible death at sea (d), or one of the other three options? To simplify you can just vote for "a", "b" ,"c" or "d", reasons for your answers appreciated but optional.
I reserve the right to chuck all of your answers and do what I want, but I thought I should ask (Gods).

Thanks, John
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Old 06-03-2008
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You dont want to hear my answer....So Ill chuck it for you.
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Old 06-03-2008
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Ahhh, the naming/denaming/renaming ceremony is simple, first grab all your tools and throw them overboard one by one, follow this with your only set of car keys,cell phone & camera, by the time the gods are though playing with all the new toys you gave them.................they won't remember you
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Old 06-03-2008
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Originally Posted by jrd22 View Post
OK, here's the background. Bought the boat last winter, had it shipped home and we have been working on it ever since on the hard. We changed the name (#1) on the documentation papers when we bought it figuring on having the denaming/renaming ceremony once we were back in the water. Now we have decided to change the name again (haven't had the first new name put on transom yet) so here's the dilemma. Do we have to have two denaming (original name then #1) ceremonies prior to the naming (a), one denaming (original) and skip the unused name (although it is on the documentation papers now) and go directly to name #2 (b), or do we have to dename/rename (#1) then dename/rename (#2) again (c)? I don't know if we have enough money left in the boat account to buy that much champagne (I always buy the good stuff when dealing with Gods). So, should we just put the new (#2) name on and go sailing, drink the champagne ourselves and risk a horrible death at sea (d), or one of the other three options? To simplify you can just vote for "a", "b" ,"c" or "d", reasons for your answers appreciated but optional.
I reserve the right to chuck all of your answers and do what I want, but I thought I should ask (Gods).

Thanks, John
1. It's a boat for f##ks sake, it cares not a jot about your government's stupid bits of paper.

2. If you can't afford two bottles of Champagne then you can't afford the boat either, either you go or she goes, and dont think you can get away with it by buying a couple of bottles of cheap plonk. Boats, unlike you, are not stupid and will notice that she is now in the hands of not only a blithering idiot but a cheap blithering idiot at that. Ergo, first time out she will kill you. Gods ? Cheap as chips. Not worth lemonade. Boats on the other hand are not.

3. Watching you pour perfectly good Champagne overboard will only make her realise what a poor benighted fool she has got herself hitched to and she'll probably sink in shame.

4. Sell your wife or girlfriend and with a bit of luck you now have the werewithall to buy that second bottle of bubbly.

5. As it has already been ascertained that you are a blithering idiot you will proably die anyway. Nancying about trying to convince the sea pixies that they should look after you is a waste of your time and theirs. They'll probably kill you just for the heck of it. Yep, not only cheap but spiteful with it.

6. Now to the good bit, get a virgin. Yeah I know, not all that easy but at least while you are out searching you will not be back here annoying the crap out of us with your stupid questions.

7. Mision Impossible completed ? Sacrifice Virgin.

8. Fun eh ? Always puts me in a good mood I can tell you. Particularly the writhing bit. Works for me every time I can tell you.

9. Oh, bugger. This really should have been 8. Deflower virgin before sacrifice.

9a. Sorry if you had already done the sacrificing bit, but oh well, she was a virgin after all and they are usually dud roots so you probably wouldn't have noticed the difference. (or so I'm told )

10. Finish off the bubbles yourself. Bugger the sea gods, what did they ever do for you ? As a result of them you have sold your wife/girlfriend and wilfully slaughtered you next best chance. I warned you they were nasty little suckers didn't I ?

And now, see, you are smarter than when you started so don't get all huffy with me about the abuse and the charge of first degree murder cos I did you a big favour and saved you from wasting a perfectly good bottle of Champagne. Preferably French but don't tell Alex or he'll have a sulk.

The abuse is free, the education will cost you that second bottle of bubbles.

ps - none of that was meant to be vindictive or spiteful, I just felt like babbling on for a moment or two. Sea Dog reckons it's cos I am barking mad and forget to take my meds. He may well be right.

pps - once will be quite sufficient really.You do know the bit about removing all traces of the old name first though don't you ? Sacrifice is optional really but I still maintain it's a whole lot of fun. Particularly the writhing.
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Old 06-03-2008
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So lets see that's one vote for chucking it, one for throwing everything I hold dearest overboard, and one for sacrificing a virgin (where the hell do you find one of those these days?), including a lot of writhing.
Hmmmmmm......
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Old 06-03-2008
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So lets see that's one vote for chucking it, one for throwing everything I hold dearest overboard, and one for sacrificing a virgin (where the hell do you find one of those these days?), including a lot of writhing.
Hmmmmmm......
John you have me worried.....you car keys and an adjustable wrench are more important to you than you wife/girlfriend ???? Wow !! That poor bloody virgin is toast. And you liked the writhing idea didn't you ? I think I may been out sick puppied.
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Old 06-03-2008
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Uh, tdw, may I remind you that it was you that thought of sacrficing an innocent young maiden, including enjoyment of writhing. I don't hold a wee candle to you as far as sick puppies go. Just keeping the record straight, mate .
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Old 06-03-2008
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Uh, tdw, may I remind you that it was you that thought of sacrficing an innocent young maiden, including enjoyment of writhing. I don't hold a wee candle to you as far as sick puppies go. Just keeping the record straight, mate .
Well yes but at least I place my favourite squeeze before my car keys.
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Old 06-03-2008
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As is often the case in life, first you need an incontinent virgin.
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Old 06-03-2008
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As is often the case in life, first you need an incontinent virgin.
Memo - to self....writhing does not shock it merely gets the buggers excited.

or did you mean that after we've tied her down, had our evil way with her then sacrificed the poor bint that she might have the shhhhhhhts wombat , don't say it. Cam will not be pleased.

How's about an intercontinental virgin ? ala Sally Field.

This is getting silly, I think I'll just fall overboard fully clothed.
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