I agree that the tiller tamer is a great accessory. But so is the ability to trim the sails so that she steers herself (no good for foredeck work but it allows you to tend to other things)
Neither of these books are new, but I found helpful advice in both:
Amazon.com: A Manual of Single Handed Sailing: Tony Meisel: Books
Amazon.com: Singlehanded Sailing: The Experiences and Techniques of the Lone Voyagers: Richard Henderson: Books
For the record, I single-hand much larger boats without difficulty, but with a lot of preparation. One is a '70s cruiser-racer with a huge J measurement, hank-on foresails and the halyard winch at the mast. I will motor out, go head to wind, crank up the main, leave it centered, pre-wrap both jib sheets on the winches loosely for when it is fully out on a reach (you can mark your sheets to indicate this), and then I will motor fast
into the wind, throw the throttle back, throw the engine into neutral, and haul up the jib halyard (pre-loaded at the dock and with the sail either loose on the deck or barely held down with cotton thread) as fast as I can.
Usually, the jib is up and flogging before the boat can coast to a stop or fall off in either direction. I can get back to the cockpit and fall off one way or another and can trim or unwrap either winch, during which I steer with my legs or "by the seat of my pants". I'm middle-aged and the opposite of petite, so I figure most people can manage this, especially if the jib halyard runs back to the cockpit.
The bigger boat is a full-keeler with furling and hydraulic steering, making all this much easier (and more stately), as it tracks much better than the lighter fin keeler. The difference is that I get the main up at the mast, and simply unfurl the jib from the helm.