Originally Posted by sushirama
"one piece" they taught us in the navy when we could run low on paper. Put a hole in the middle of the sheet, stick your finger through it, get every thing with your finger then wipe your finger with the single piece of paper.
Never actually got that bad but it has been done.
Wow sushirama...THAT brings a whole new meaning to the term 'stinky finger' from my high school days!
I agree with Cruisingdad that uncontrolled plastic is a very bad thing in the marine environment. There is tons of it floating around and with some products their use is sometimes unavoidable. BUTT...putting 'pooh paper' into a zip lock is a 'no can do' for me, especially if the pooh is inches from my nasal intakes!
I took a couple of ASA courses aboard a 50' Beneteau. The owner was a hardcore pooh bag believer and was adamant about their use. In each cabin, there was a head...inches away. No way I was going to sleep in a pooh pup tent for a week. I used the TP sparingly and had no clogs or problems the entire trip...well except for the 'gaseous twins' berthed on the other side of the (thankfully) sealed bulkhead separating our berths. Both were vertically challenged, well girthed methane factorys that were recently joined in marital bliss to 'inhouse' source the natural gas needed to fuel their fleet of delievery
vehicles used in their "QUITE" successful business. According to them, they not only had all the money in the world, they also were the source of all knowledge! (just like my ex, knows every @#$%ing thing!).....well in all areas except onboard heads.
Between the two, they had four head clogs and one really bad overflow. All that was missing was the yellow jackets buzzing and a half moon carved into their cabin door! Hell, those two couldn't get their own bottled water from the the refer without straining and jet propelling themselves into the depths of the icebox. No kidding, after not being able to ignore the screaming, we actually had to extract the woman out the refridgeration compartment after she had fallen in. I had a hard time containing myself from passing a little gas from all my hidden laughter, the pressure was almost too much....all I could think of when we each were heaving up on our respective limb....god, I hope there's no open flame and this is that two cloaked pigs in a paint shaker look like! It was a sight. Back to the pooh...
Although they denied using too much paper, the overflow on the sole told the 'rest of the story'. My grandmother's outhouse smelled like a bowl of potpourri compared to what was wafting from behind that door. Their food intake was amazing and personally I thought that even with an excretion rate of less than 25%, they would still need a fishbilly to break each stool into small enough bits to meet the head's specifications for passage. Punching pooh paper into a plastic pouch was the least of their problems!
I could go on, but you get the picture. We sailed for over a week...island to island...except for the 'twins', it was the second best sailing I've ever done but was very glad to get off the ship of pooh. The day before our return to Honolulu, I suffered a panick attack, no plastic pouch of pooh to prove my compliance. Damn, after some thought, I "MacGyvered" it. I wiped a half melted Hersey bar (no nuts) into a bunch of TP and pushed the pile of fake pooh into the pouch to prove compliance. Whew!
After docking and some clean up, we all left the boat with our pooh pouches. The twins were still in their bragging mode(no tip for the instructor either) , and some criticism lavished upon same....it was all I could take.
Don't know if it was payback for their plague to the olfactory senses they'd caused or the stench coming from the nearby dumpster on the dock, but clearly some form of retaliation was in order. I held up my fake pooh pouch and questioned "what do we do with this" The queen methane maiden goes into "I really do not know why we had to go to this extreme". While she started going into "what we would have done to make it better" routine, I opened my pooh pouch and stuck my nose DEEP into the pile of fake pooh. Well the tooting twins eyes both went into cartoon shock mode. Seeing their reaction was priceless and was cause for further action. While I said "it really doesn't smell too bad", I reached in and tore off a encrusted bit and put it in my mouth. "Doesn't taste too bad either"! Never saw anyone turn that shade of red....both hurled immediately on their brand new Harken luggage and Docksiders. No need to process that load...they puked in the cab too. It was OK, I really didn't want to share the cab to the airport anyway. The instructor didn't look too good either...until I told him what I'd done. He laughed so hard he barfed on his cooler. That was OK too, I think the hundred helped in that respect. Hey, I'm not rich either.
Should this go into the AFOC thread?