Folks, here's the story.
I introduced my self yesterday under "Big Pirate" heading. My brother and I, bought a beautiful Albin Ballad 30'.
My brother has hardly ever been on a boat. Needless to say, it was my idea. It's a dream come through and despite all the hurdles I am and will enjoy it (Sailor talk

in a storm).
Here's the story, I am in Canada working for the boat's expenses. Initially, I went down and closed the transaction, checked the boat out and 48 hours later hopped on the plane back home. My neighbors at the live aboard marina, offered to finish some of the works. Great folks but clinically unreliable. I still love the folks but wouldn't go hunting with them (I don't hunt

).
We decided with my brother to pay a skipper, basically paying all expenses including flight meals car rental cell phone etc ... for the experience. Now, the gentleman is not a professional but has a 24 footer and apparently has sailed across oceans! We also did his wife a favor, she wanted him out (nice guys, heh). His brother is a great friend of mine and I took his word. The fellow was very excited and flew down a couple days before my brother showed up. 24 hours later we get this message, "can not do it". Blaming it on so much work to be done, the boat etc ...
Not knowing the boat, one would say; He might have a point and maybe we've invited the fellow on a compromised boat. Well not true, but still I went back and called the surveyor that passed the boat with flying colors, called the rigger that went over the boat and gave us a positive opinion except he wanted to rake the mast aft (which we didn't ignore but preferred to take the boat out once and see for ourselves how it behaves). Everyone re-iterated the same findings; The boat is as good as it can be. There are no problems with its integrity whatsoever. Brand new diesel Westerbeke 20Hp with 40 hours, all filters changed, the bottom scraped by a diver, the fuel tank vacuumed and flushed then refilled, brand new batteries, the main sail serviced with a healthy report card, and of course some more can be done, but which boat does not?
To make this a bit shorter, the "skipper" chickened out (period).
That does not bother me a bit, good thing his nerves gave ashore and not when the Gods are mad at sea. I'd hate to hold his hand there.
However, we're in a jam. My brother along with a friend/hired hand can not bring the boat back. They have ten days to do it and no hope in sight unless we haul the boat out and truck it (I'll stop here).
Anyone out there willing to help?
Honestly after all said and done, I am not willing to pay someone $350 a day for the job. If I had the time, I'd do it, but to discover people and pay for that is a bit too steep for me now.
So please, if anyone has a constructive suggestion be my guest and pitch in an idea or many. They have to be humorous and funny (just kidding. I meant practical and cheap

). They have to be different and the gentleman that chickened out already will not be considered. So, M********..e if you are reading this don't even try. I love you from a distance. Let's not meet

.
Others, can inquire, offer or ...
Cheers, Edgard