girlfriend/wife hates sailing - Page 3 - SailNet Community
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post #21 of 54 Old 07-20-2009
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I have to agree with the romantic side of things, women adore the emotional aspect and i'm sure she would appreciate it as a romantic time for the two of you to get away together. Perhaps get some bubbly on the go and have a nice drink to lighten the air. Keep trying!
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post #22 of 54 Old 07-20-2009
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I hope you figure it out and let us know because I have the same problem. I gave up and sail solo or with friends.
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post #23 of 54 Old 07-20-2009
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Get married and make sure the ceremony includes the words "love, honor and OBEY!!
See how that works out!

No longer posting. Reach me by PM!
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post #24 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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Some good advice (and not so good advice, but pretty funny!)

I'm having a similar issue, after a recent 800NM sail my wife hated it, the kids are indifferent and I loved it.

My solution is to go for a smaller yacht which I can single hand in the future, but is big enough to still have the whole family onboard at a pinch. That way you can go sailing anytime you like and if the missus joins you it's a bonus. At my yacht club there are a lot of passionate husband sailors with not so passionate wives who you occassionally (sometimes never) see. That way everyone is happy.

I would also try any way to assist in enouraging the missus along. Getting the 2 year old looked after while you and the missus go sailing is a good idea. I have recently added internet access to my boat so the wife can play internet games and chat with her internet mates when we are at anchor.

Mods to the boat would also be a good idea. Ask her what you can change to make it easier for her. My wife could'nt furl the jib until I installed some turning blocks on the furler line. Now she has no problems furling.

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post #25 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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My wife of 28 years will never like sailing all that much and is more than happy with going out for 2 hours on a Friday or Saturday night

However she could care less if i am out on the boat 4 or 5 times a week which was NOT always the case and caused a LOT of friction when the children were young

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post #26 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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My wife loves to be on the boat in sheltered water and in calm and settled weather. Otherwise will have nothing to do with it. So I spend some quiet times with her on the Hudson and in Gloucester Harbor. I enjoy the quiet times and she loves to watercolor and just being on the (quiet) water. Then I get a few friends together and we go sailing. Not the best of all possible worlds, but a workable one.

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post #27 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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If I had to bet on whether she'll ever like sailing, I'd have to put my money on NEVER. That's the reality of it.

Truth is, most people don't like to sail. That's why powerboats outnumber sailboats a zillion to one.

...and a lot of people don't like powerboats.

You MIGHT turn this thing around, but don't count on it. And boy, does it ever STINK going sailing with a female that doesn't really want to be there. You spend too much time trying to make sure they're having a good time. And then nobody has a good time. Waaaay different than being out there with someone who enjoys it.

It probably comes down to what do you like more, the sailing or the two-year old. 'Course you have a responsibility to the 2yr old...none to sailing.

Call me killjoy.
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post #28 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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Try it without the 2 year old on board. Still plenty of time to get the little one acclimated to sailing.

With a more of a one on one situation, maybe she'll become comfortable enough to take the helm and become a more active participant. Having a sense of control over the sailing environment may help her to enjoy it more.

If you can't help her with this without creating an anxiety-free environment (ie no yelling) though, it's going to be a problem.
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post #29 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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Having been through 20+ motorcycles, 2 personal aircraft and 3 sailboats, has been nice restaurants with quiet dinners & lunches.

Pick a fairly close by decent restaurant and that becomes your short sail destination. Work up from there. Years ago my wife (of 44+ years) and I covered the upper 2/3 of the Chesapeake Bay this way. Also worked with cycles & aircraft.

From that easy start, she took to all 3 modes of travel with a passion.

Today she gets upset if we don't get out for a sail or it's too short a time out. This has worked for over 4 decades now.

Just find a way of including something in the agenda that she would really like to do. Might be a craft show in some port, or ????

Regards & good luck.

Gary
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post #30 of 54 Old 07-21-2009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boasun View Post
I had a similar problem: She didn't like my work (Merchant Mariner) She didn't like sailing and sold my Catalina 30 while I was working in the Bering Sea.
Problem solved: She is now my Ex and married to some land lubber and I don't ever have to worry about her ever trying to return.
She SOLD YOUR BOAT? While you were WORKING TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY?

Were it me, her ass wouldn't be in divorce court, it would be in jail, for grand theft.

*******.

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