Sailing Bloopers

[kaneb]

We are looking for funny stories, video's and photos in 2009.

For me, I entered a sailing race that put me up against serial adults looking for bragging rights on the Lake and a few "ringers", who traveled to "our" lake to join the weekend race.

Well, I arrived at the starting line just before the 5 minute warning and told the starter I wanted in. The lake was choppy and the winds were high. White caps were everywhere and I had to yell my information as I navigated close to the pontoon boat to the several officials decked out in sailing gear. My rudder hit the anchor line but I got out of the disaster without too much embarrassment.

The start of any sailing race, for me is the most exciting! I like to pride myself on getting across the starting line first and around the first buoy. 19 boats entered the race. The close proximity of all the sailboats got me laughing thinking about what a disaster the beginning of the race could be. "Tackniques" were being used by all and many were barking right of way. For guy's like me it was like hearing a foreign language. Plus the noise of the sails were drowning the voices. The starting line was short, less than 100 feet which was challenging to stay close. Wind was was blowing hard and coming directly from the first buoy. tacking in the 3 minutes in the heavy traffic got me laughing quietly at first but then after several close misses began to get loud.

Soon others were, for no apparent reason laughing too. They must have been thinking about the reckless nature of the situation. It was going from bad to worse. Egos were involved here and the weekend warriors were getting aggressive. Soon most of the guy's sailing were laughing and then we heard the horn. Not sure what happened next i have never seen so many boats tangled up in one area. Some stuck in irons, others lost their lines, one overboard which mast got tangled in two other boats which again added to the hysteria. The best part was the three serious racers who all got caught in the jam were calling out penalties and guys were roaring in laughter.

I wish someone had gotten a photo. As I sailed across the starting line with several other sailors just missing the disaster, I felt that the beer was on me to thank them for a lifetime memory.

[cesarid]

I have plenty of bloopers but I never video them!

[kaneb]

Tell me your story.

[smackdaddy]

Virtually every exit from the slip involves serious bloopers when I'm sailing. But...

I guess my most embarrassing thus far was a couple of weeks after I'd gotten the C27. We'd only had a couple of lessons from a really nice dude at our marina that turned out to be a not-so-good teacher. Super conservative. If the winds were over 7 knots, he'd only sail with the jib so as not to heel.

Not knowing any better at that point, we hoisted our 110 only and started trying to beat on a close haul into maybe 12 knots of wind. This actually went fairly well until we tried to tack. We couldn't get through the wind and started getting blown backwards...straight into the family swimming area. We of course left the jib up and didn't think about the anchor.

There was indeed much swearing in the cockpit as I was desperately trying to start the evil outboard before we ended up grounded alongside the wide-eyed toddlers in their floaties. Befuddled bathers snickered and shook their heads as the S/V Smacktanic waddled toward shore. Then the befuddlement turned to mob anger as they realized that the skipper truly didn't have a clue and was actually a public menace instead of a Saturday afternoon novelty. Those people had filthy mouths.

Luckily the motor finally fired and I was able to get us out of there. It was then that I discovered that the jib-only thing works a hell of a lot better downwind.

I yelled "My name is John Pollard. Call me!" as I took us back out to deeper water.

[blt2ski]

two ooops, two different days........such fun

max speed attained with second oops last march before the oops in mid 30knots with just a main and 110 down wind!



some days are good, others, well oooooops!

Marty

[Alannc44]

Originally Posted by smackdaddy

Virtually every exit from the slip involves serious bloopers when I'm sailing. But...

I guess my most embarrassing thus far was a couple of weeks after I'd gotten the C27. We'd only had a couple of lessons from a really nice dude at our marina that turned out to be a not-so-good teacher. Super conservative. If the winds were over 7 knots, he'd only sail with the jib so as not to heel.

When you said "instructor" I had a flashback. My dad had just bought one of the first Catalina 22's (1973) and he and I were on it with my mom and sister down at Lake Murray, SC getting some final instructions. The factory man had us sailing into a cove when, all of the sudden we came to a halt. Thinking it was shallow, I jumped out of the water to push us off. I promptly dropped into water well over my head. It was plenty deep. I climbed back aboard. We still couldn't get anywhere (It was blowing about 2-3 knots) I finally looked up to see what the wind indicator was showing when I noticed cables strung across the cove. Our mast was hung up on power cables!

At that the instructor panicked of course, but managed crank up the out board to get us out.

A few hours later we learned that all the power on that cove had mysteriously died. I'm glad it was just the power that died.

Alan

[ericread]

I was goofing around in a dingy race in Newport Beach (CA) harbor one sunny summer Sunday, and I had been placing 2nd or 3rd all afternoon. On the last heat of the day, I finally got close to the boat that had been taking first all day. Reaching over, I grabbed the side of his boat and flung my boat ahead of his, winning the heat. He never saw my "maneuver" and he spent the next few hours congratulating me on my burst of speed, and asking me how I finally beat him? Although I told him of my "potential infraction" later at the dock, I don't think he really believed me, and that I was just keeping my sailing secret to myself...

[QuickMick]

Ive been working on my boat... as always seems required... and had just finished a major tune up on my A4 (which had not been running due to PO). Points/plugs....etc... well, I was so jubilant that the carb I rebuilt actually worked, I danced a little jig in the cockpit when she started.

I then proceeded to rev her up a bit, wanting to burn off some of the accumulated crud on the engine. About that time my buddy says, "It feels like were moving? Is that prop wash?"

"No, of course not," I replied, "thats just a little wave action from the H2O venting with the exhaust..."

I then really reved her up... much to my dismay, my buddy falls over, and the boat is attempting to surge ahead to ground right up on Dock #4...which is populated by 32' catalinas... hunters... you get the idea. Luckily the dock lines were made fast so tradgedy was averted.... the only loss being a pair of boxers.

[CalypsoP35]

On my first sail on Calypso we decided to check out the asymetrical spinnaker got it up no problem, then we starting looking at it, something wasn't right. We had it upside down.

Of course while we were doing all this, we had a ferry go by us and a bunch sailboats were also in the area. I'm sure some knowledgeable sailors got a good laugh!

[kaneb]

20 years ago my wife and I set sail for our first sailing trip EVER on a 35 ft Scanmar- Swedish sailboat with Mid-cockpit. She had never been sailing and I had been a passenger once before. We waited until early afternoon when all the boats were empty or had left the harbor. We then fired up the motor, untied the boat and began pushing it out of the dock. So far so good. I looked like I knew what I was doing and my wife was impressed.

It was sunny, windy and for a late July in the Chesapeake is was only 90 degrees.

We started motoring away from the dock and my wife proceeded to start to unpack downstairs and put away the food we had just purchased. The first Red buoy appeared and I thought, "right red return". As I was returning to sea, I proceeded on course until the boat came to a FAST stop! I was pressed up against the wheel and my wife was sputtering down below #^%$&##.

Lucky for us no one seemed to see and I quickly revered the engine to get us off the soft mud bottom. This is only the beginning of our 2 week adventure.