The Return of BigRed56 - SailNet Community

   Search Sailnet:

 forums  store  


Quick Menu
Forums           
Articles          
Galleries        
Boat Reviews  
Classifieds     
Search SailNet 
Boat Search (new)

Shop the
SailNet Store
Anchor Locker
Boatbuilding & Repair
Charts
Clothing
Electrical
Electronics
Engine
Hatches and Portlights
Interior And Galley
Maintenance
Marine Electronics
Navigation
Other Items
Plumbing and Pumps
Rigging
Safety
Sailing Hardware
Trailer & Watersports
Clearance Items

Advertise Here






Go Back   SailNet Community > General Interest Forums > General Discussion (sailing related)
 Not a Member? 


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-20-2003
SailorMitch's Avatar
Senior Moment
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: MD
Posts: 1,931
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 9
SailorMitch will become famous soon enough
The Return of BigRed56

BR,

By now you know you were missed during your long absence (except by the dog lovers maybe.) Many theories abounded for your whereabouts. But I''m wondering of the following is close to the truth:

The governor of Illinois empties out death row, and the next thing I know, you''re back on here. Is there a connection there, or am I just snowblind from this east coast blizzard????
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #2  
Old 02-20-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 316
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
kokopelli9 is an unknown quantity at this point
The Return of BigRed56

Good one Mitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I''m glad to know that woofer murder is a capital offense in Illinois!

Kokopuff
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #3  
Old 02-20-2003
SailorMitch's Avatar
Senior Moment
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: MD
Posts: 1,931
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 9
SailorMitch will become famous soon enough
The Return of BigRed56

Thanks, Kokopuff. I occasionally do have my moments, huh?
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #4  
Old 02-21-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 459
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 13
DuaneIsing is on a distinguished road
The Return of BigRed56

I heard that when our Pirate friend returend from his first long absence, he went to his favorite bar where the baretender was astounded at his changed appearance. PoPI was unruffled, but the barkeep asked about his peg leg.

PoPI replied that it was nothing, just took a cannonball below the knee, but the ship''s Doc fixed him up good as new with the peg.

The barkeep then asked about the hook on the end of his forearm. PoPI replied that he had lost his hand in a cutlass battle against 10 enemy, but it wasn''t anything to worry about since the Doc fixed him up with the hook.

Stunned, the barkeep then asked about the patch over PoPI''s one eye. PoPI replied that he was looking up towards the crows next when a frigate bird pooped in his eye. The barkeep said, "you can''t lose your eye from bird poop!" To which PoPI replied, "Yeah, ''tis true, but it was me first day with the hook."
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #5  
Old 02-21-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: NC
Posts: 316
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
kokopelli9 is an unknown quantity at this point
The Return of BigRed56

Ha!Ha!Ha!Ha! And I thought it was a dog that bit his arm off while PoPI was trying to put him in a stew pot!

Kokopuff.....
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #6  
Old 02-21-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Posts: 309
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 14
JohnDrake is on a distinguished road
The Return of BigRed56

:O)))))))))
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #7  
Old 02-21-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 407
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 14
tsenator is on a distinguished road
The Return of BigRed56

LOL....Now that was a good one !
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #8  
Old 02-21-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 346
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 13
BigRed56 is on a distinguished road
The Return of BigRed56

Ahoy, ye yapping curs nippin at me heels, I be thinking a fine bottle of Rum shipped anywhere in the US ought to be the right good prize for the crafty one of youse that guess the real nature of my offense and the punishment meeted out to dis ere old Pirate, extra credit be given for the most interesting narrative with the best graphic details. (In case ye be thinking about outsmarting de PPI, ye can forget about the LEE County Court Web Site , it ain''t there).
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #9  
Old 02-24-2003
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 103
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 15
bmcald is on a distinguished road
The Return of BigRed56

Big Red, your adventures are legend and your latest escapade did not escape notice.

Dave Barry''s column ripped you off without credit. When he began spreading word of National Talk Like a Pirate Day, he was paying homage to you but without a tip of the hat your way! It was outrageous. But what can you expect from a humor columnist, whose bread is buttered with twisted takes on serious matters of honor, even that of cold-blooded merciless pirates.

The tiny Everglades port of Marathon well remembers the day you docked to hose the blood and gore from your decks and sweep the luncheonette waitress off her feet and below to your cabin, where god knows what awful demented sexual practices were carried out that left her reeling and grinning like her throat had been cut from ear to ear. Then you bought off the entire outraged populace and local constable with a crate of rum. Then the empty bottles were floated out to the Keys in a bobbing line like Hansel and Gretel''s breadcrumbs in the dark forest. Dozens of other floating riff raff followed the alcholoic fumes and bottles to the beseiged dock and wreaked havoc when they discovered all the rum was gone and the only fair maiden already bespoiled.

Then, Big Red, then you rose to the ocassion and turned the situation around. The growling, drooling howling mob stood up on their hind feet and saluted as you hauled the skull and crossbones up the flagpole and threatened to keelhaul any miscreant that dared break the bonds of fealty you had established at this little isolated port.And yes, that was when you established the very first day on the shores of this nation when it was legally required that everyone speak like a pirate.

News of this event never appeared in national media because the only local reporter on the scene not only spoke like a pirate but wielded his cutlass like one too and quickly dispatched the Fox and CNN news crews when they parked their vans with satellite transmission gear in front of the only outhouse in the area, blocking the way for everyone. Once the news hounds were sent packing, their satellite gear torn from the trucks and fixed to the masts of your ship, you took over the airwaves and spewed forth the purest piratical harangue heard in those parts since the Spaniards lost their last treasure ship to a marauding crew of New England whalers that had been stranded on a cay and left to starve by their greed filled captain.

The NSA''s supercomputers picked up your broadcast and homed in on keywords that had not been heard for centuries but still triggered a national response that had been programmed long ago by a disgruntled coder longing for the open main. Resentful of those such as yourself that still sail and pillage freely, the coder had instructed the computer to launch a cruise missile attack on the source of the broadcast.

Only a short length of wire saved you, Big Red. Because you had to climb the mast to plug into the satellite dish and transmitter, the first cruise missle scooped you up and continued rocketing south to the coast of Venezuela while the other missiles laid waste to the dock, the luncheonette, even the outhouse and all its inhabitants.

You might have disappeared from everyone''s scope, Big Red, but when Venezuela erupted into mass strikes and mutinies, halting the flow of oil, your presence there could no longer be a secret.

How you made it make to your home port without detection is unknown. But the day you overran Marathon and then sparked open rebellion throughout all of Venzuela will live on in whispered tales at dank and dangerous waterfront taverns the whole world wide.

And here you offer a miserable reward of rum while you sit upon the greatest reserve of oil ever assembled by any one person in history.

Some day soon, when no oil is left anywhere else for all the SUVs in the land and all the three-decks-no-bottom cruisers on the sea, then every day will be national speak like a pirate day, and the name Big Red will be known in every corner of the land, even in tiny backwater counties without web sites.

Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
  #10  
Old 02-28-2003
Senior Nappy Headed Ho
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 734
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Denr is an unknown quantity at this point
The Return of BigRed56

Uncle Bruce:

I''m sorry to hear of your recent “employment status” change. But seriously, it''s time to start sending your resume out again....get a job! Or at least go sailing.
Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

 
Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fuel Return Ratio pma_foyl Gear & Maintenance 8 07-22-2004 01:22 AM
Fuel Return Ratio pma_foyl General Discussion (sailing related) 1 07-09-2004 10:10 AM
DC Ground vs. Negative Return dougshome Gear & Maintenance 6 07-23-2003 08:54 AM
Hailing BigRed56 DuaneIsing General Discussion (sailing related) 0 09-16-2001 10:24 AM
We join you & return favor nativespirit Crew Wanted/Available 0 03-02-2001 07:49 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:17 PM.

Add to My Yahoo!         
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.1
(c) Marine.com LLC 2000-2012