Invites to friends/confused expectations. - Page 3 - SailNet Community
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post #21 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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Move countries, or at least move to Australia. No one will ever go to a party without more alcoholic beverage and contributions than they will consume. The concept of making sure that you are welcome by "knocking with your elbows" is entrenched. And if you don't know what that means then you are not an Aussie.
NZ is exactly that - every invite to any function other than lunch/dinner automatically assumes you bring your own consumables unless specifically otherwise stated.

And if you get it wrong you may get one more invite but not two.

On the flip side, if you take too much, nobody will frown if you want to take some home. e.g a half a bottle of rum probably will get taken when the owner leaves and no-one frowns on that.

In an environment where this is not so - make sure it is clearly stated that BYO means everything that you're likely to consume unless you as hostess is happy to provide some elements then make that clear.


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post #22 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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I hate to say it, but it sounds like you have cheap and/or inconsiderate friends. I know times are tough right now but...

If the invitation doesn't clearly spell out my responsibilities, I email or call and ask what I can bring to help out.

Upon my first invitation aboard the boat of a new friend, I always present the skipper with a bottle of port or rum.

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post #23 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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I always present the skipper with a bottle of port or rum.
When do you want to go sailing?

It's 5 o'clock somewhere:


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post #24 of 47 Old 06-01-2011 Thread Starter
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Yup, new friends are going to be invited!

Denise, Bristol PA, Oday 30. On Tidal Delaware River, Anchor Yacht Club.
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post #25 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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When I moved to a marina with a club house. I started potlucks almost weekly. The first one we had many green salads, so after that I would communicate who is bringing what, and what will you bring?........i2f

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post #26 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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Our marina has weekly potlucks, the invite reads "...bring whatever you're drinking, a dish to share, and your own flatware/plates.." OTOH, we *hosted* a party and told people, "...no, this one's on us, we're providing sandwiches, munchies, rum, wine, beer, vodka, lemonade" and still people brought side dishes to share and presented us with many bottles of drinkables. So, it sounds like your friends are cheap, or dense.


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post #27 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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I always bring the little umbrellas for the drinks

Seriously though, state what you're providing and offer some recommendations for what others should bring. Wouldn't hurt, if you have a bulletin board or other means of viewing for everybody to have a "signup sheet" with what they are bringing. Helps cut down on everyone bringing the same thing.

Have to admit though, your group there sounds like the exception to the rule as far as bringing stuff.

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post #28 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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As the host its your duty to assure that the crucial ingredients for your party are provided.
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post #29 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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Well in Singapore the host assign "duties" to invitees. We always ends up more than we can consumme. That's better than not enough. Some invitees are good at getting or preparing certain food or drinks so that helps in the organising. That's their speciality.

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post #30 of 47 Old 06-01-2011
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Unless you're throwing parties out in the boonies somewhere, how hard would it be to simply ask those that come empty handed to make a run to the store when supplies start running low?
On the other hand, if you invite someone that you know is in dire financial straits, then you should look at it like loaning money. Do it with a smile and don't expect to be repaid. Or don't invite them at all.
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