Oh, I accept and would now be just fine with a handheld, or other methods suggested above. But right now, we haven't even gotten around to discussing the wind speed indicator since yesterday before I asked the question, because he continued to tear into me via e-mail, and I frankly, had had enough. I haven't even had the chance to discuss what I found.
In the past, for the few sails we had together, even during our courses, it was something referred to often - by both of us - in my mind probably to gauge if it was getting too rough for us - Maine can have some serious winds, or of course, we've been caught in irons on the wrong side of an island, and in addition to every other natural indicator, we'd probably glance over to see if we were in the area of any puffs. And for me it was probably to justify asking him to take it easy, or ask if we could take down the mainsail or gib, while for him, to be able to tell his stories about how bad they were. When it died last year, it was on the punch list for the winter.
And I'll say few sails as the 1st year he hardly sailed - he didn't adequately secure her before a storm, the gib broke loose, and did a serious number on the boat - so for half the summer it was in the shop - let alone this was after the engine repairs that were addressed after it overheated during trip #1 - several water lines had to be replaced, I believe.
Season 2 he was on it a few times, there were more issues with getting water lines and tanks resolved - but I was hardly on it at all due to weather and schedules, and his conveniently not feeling like it the 2 or 3 times when I was available and the conditions were right.
I have always been very even tempered about this boat - I don't ask - it is not my boat even though he clearly boasted he "got it for us". He doesn't rationally discuss sailing, just in glowing terms, or melodrama - I can do charts, although we usually use the GPS, so am consulted for directions when sailing, but I can have no say in what he wishes to do for her, and don't want to. I figure he's probably beating himself up enough about the issues she has, and which he's contributed to. I would love
to have her surveyed, but he won't hear of it - doesn't "need" to spend the money.
Only twice have I taken issue - during maiden voyage #1 with "expert" "Buddy" - and I finally just went down below in fear and frustration as they tried to get us back in one piece with no systems in heavy fog - this guy was supposed to be an expert, and he was useless - he hardly looked while extolling his GPS until the batteries went - while we inched ahead, avoiding tankers and lobster boats in the area - even the harbor captain exclaimed he couldn't believe we went out in those conditions - and #2 - after dealing with "Buddy's" disparaging attitude towards women, I just won't be around when he is if possible.
So this is season #3, I've just had a pleasant week with SO including lots of talk by him
of our sails together.
Yesterday morning he said the work was almost done - but they didn't fix the windspeed indicator - announced we didn't need it with no rationale why - I questioned his reasoning - received the super nasty e-mail, saying it would be ok if we sailed conservatively (which he doesn't do at all) - then adding all the name calling. It was way over the top.
He has a pattern of dropping the ball in having many things repaired -in his house, his former office building, his car, his office equipment (that was part of my responsibilites) - you can never talk to him about things broken. He argued with me for wanting to get my lawn mower blades sharpened at the beginning of the season! He has a roof that leaks like a sieve, and I also am a former claims adjuster and realtor, with some valid observations that should be checked, but he dismisses them.
But this is a boat to be sailed on the sea - not a leaking roof that I can walk away from, nor a broken toilet that if he doesn't want to fix it in his house, is no skin off my nose. When I told him it was best to get everything done now before it's sailed from the shop - I took a chance standing up to him because I envisioned another summer of moaning and groaning about stuff being left undone, and if he really was serious about all the sailing he wanted us to do, I needed to know the boat was safe. If he had offered the simple explanations and suggestions you all have, you're right - this would never have been an issue.
So that's why I'm cooling my heels right now, and planning other stuff for the summer, including possibly getting my stuff out of his house.
It wasn't just about the windspeed indicator - it was the huge over-reaction to my trying to prompt him to have everything ready - I mean, that's what anyone I've ever known has tried to do with their boats at the beginning of the year. Do it right.
In the past, I have also done what I could by pointing him to this site, he has a new YC membership, and suggesting he have someone else other than "Buddy" go sailing with him as crew. He has strongly agreed, yet has never followed up on it.
I even had a heart to heart with him last fall as he constantly accuses me of not wanting to sail, when what I want to do is sail safely, and with enjoyment. I know he likes to go fast, and that's fine for me within reason, but I also tried to paint for him the picture of us just gliding along watching a beautiful sunset, or enjoying lunch or beverages - the romance sailing affords, rather than take turns while the other eats so we can get there faster!
You have all been great - very supportive
- we will wait and see, but I'm not holding my breath. This is a silly issue, but I'm tired of being kicked.